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Showing posts with the label Strength

In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

Thought Bubbles

Tumble.  Tumble.  Those thoughts.  On top and over one another.  Chaos and sanity.  Disconnected yet intertwined.  I find I have no desire to explain any of it - merely a need to acknowledge their presence and let them go. # # # # # In my long ago younger days of trial and error after a brutal breakup, I had an acquaintance - a booty call - a fine-ass guy, reasonably intelligent, no drama, good in bed.  Maybe not the most satisfying encounter(s) of my life by any means but easy and simple.  Now and then, we'd run into each other and take the edge off the harsh realities of the world for a few hours without the complication of all that a relationship entails.  There was no follow up phone calls.  No interference with his other relationships.  No hard feelings about time, distance, or other responsibilities.  He knew and respected all the unwritten booty call rules.   Until one night, he didn't.   "I keep thinking...maybe...you know...we could be more."