Posts

Showing posts from February, 2018

The Edge of His Darkness

It’s 3am. I should be unconscious, earning another two or three face creases from sleeping soundly on His t-shirt, but in the shadows and silence and blessed fuckin stillness, I selfishly steal the time from my pile of obligations to travel back to our last night, our last morning, and just savor the memories.  Words, images, moments flicker through my mind.  Until I settle there.  That.  I hit replay and replay and replay. Fuck. What He did to me….   What I can’t even bring myself to fuckin type.  Even here. No one has dared.  Except Him.  Except Him.  Except Him. Looking back, I see clearly the presence I had felt.  It was there.  In the look carved on His face.  The edge of a Darkness that He holds tightly at bay had come to watch me.  Somehow... after so long... I had caught His interest again.   I met His gaze without fear, and His vicious response was absolute. There was no warning.   No preparing me to take what was to come.   He. Gave. Me. No. Choice.   And in the quiet deep o

His to Take

Fuck me, He makes me soft, and as time goes on it just gets worse.  However, don't doubt!  My lioness still very much has her claws, but at the sight or sound of Him, they are sheathed as I rollover to show Him my belly and simply start to purrrrrrrrrrrr. I hadn't realized this...evolution to us or myself until the last two weeks.  Flu cancelled plans day after day.  There was no anger or drama.  Just worry, concern, and an...emptiness where He exists in my life.  He'd call or text me a picture or, and the sun would burst suddenly from behind cloudy grey skies and warm my soul.  If He made that little growl/hum sound because of something I'd say, it was like a damn rainbow lit up the sky too.  ~sigh~  I damn sure hadn't planned to allow this kind of vulnerability in my life again. I was short-sighted.  Funny how in my search for a D/s dynamic, I hadn't factored in the inevitability of that soft spot and chink in my armor that happens as two people build trus

Kinky Cranky Elitists, Teenage Newbies, & Kink-topia

~sigh~  After seeing several new people feel like they are LESS than after reading some arrogant assholian the lifestyle is going to hell in a handbasket rants... Dear Captain Kinky Cranky Pants (encompassing all genders) ~ Yes, Fet sucks. It's always sucked. It just didn't suck as much when it was NEW to you and me.  Since I joined in 2010, I’ve absolutely seen a difference as well, but I'm pretty sure much of that perspective is due to how much MORE educated I am and how much FURTHER along in my own journey I am.  Putting some check marks next to your kinky bucket list makes climbing the Everest of Kink seem achievable.  Just because you have your climbing gear and you've done two dozen other climbs doesn't mean you should scuff at the ones just getting their first pair of hiking boots. Yes, the amount of fluffy - first things many of us check off the list - can be significant.  One of the first steps of courage in the lifestyle tends to be showing some

What You Have Found

Yes, Sir. You have finally found that woman who You can drape in Your beautiful Rope. I will be still and patient as You tie and knot and wrap my flesh to bind me to Your soul. Please...Adorn me with your sacred. Yes, Sir. You have finally found that giving submissive who will be honest, loyal, and true. I will serve and obey You as best as I am able with my body, my mind, and my heart. Please...Show me how to please You. Yes, Sir. You have finally found that willing eager masochist to unleash that beautiful Darkness You hide from the world. I will soak up every drop of your cruel intentions. Please...Give me the Pain You long to set free. Yes, Sir. You have also found a lady who can share with You fine spirits, bask in the complicated melodies of jazz, and make You proud to have next to You. I will cherish every moment big and small that we find to share. Please...Let’s explore the wonders and flavors of the city...of the world. Yes, Sir. You have found that ethical insatiable whor

In Trouble - Part II

Part I - In case you missed it. I’m in trouble. Hours of conversation later, after feeding each other tasty bits from forks and fingers, my purring Lion slept sated and relaxed.  His arms around the bare curve of my waist.  His head against my breasts.  Content.  Even the usual creases of stress and worry between His brows were gone. I checked my phone and set the timer just in case.  First and foremost was to honor the rules they abided by and the respect that kept them at peace.  Our time together was always finite.  I never fought those boundaries.  They kept me safe as well. Yet, I wished I could give Him more than a handful of minutes of peaceful sleep.  I rained gentle kisses on His head and slowly rubbed His back.  What I thought was an effort to comfort was just as much an outlet to express my affection unseen.  In the silence of our room, I slowly, quietly let myself relax one breath at a time.  His body warmth seeped into my bones.  His purrs soothed me. I looked do

In Trouble - Part I

I’m in trouble. He hides His Beast and His passion behind so many layers...politeness, smooth grace, perfect manners, easy conversation, generosity, kindness, patience.  Too often I forget the Darkness that lies dormant and hungry in the lair of His soul.  I forget and...underestimate. Fifteen hours later, on a train surrounded by obnoxious suburban millennials seeking city thrills, I can barely look back at what He did to me.  My soul trembles.  I fight the tsunami of tears I couldn’t unleash last night, I clamp down against a spontaneous gut wrenching orgasm that threatens to burst between my legs, and I swallow a primal scream I can’t quite name the source of. All I know is...He fucked me up last night. I walked in a calm, relaxed, confident lioness.  In well under twenty seconds, He made me nothing more than His bitch and proceeded to drag me through the gutter of my soul. No one has ever taken me so deep.  He seemed to do it effortlessly. I'd entered our room an

The Inspiration of a Stranger

I dashed up the familiar subway stairs. I’d made good time on my morning commute. I was feeling good. Real good. Dr. Dre and Snoop pounded through my headphones and my bones, setting my pace and encouraging an extra bit of sass to the sway of my hips. When my feet met the concrete sidewalk, I turned my long stride toward the office and smoothly weaved between confused tourists and the fragmented line for the donut street cart. Even the chilly overcast skies cramped between the steel grey skyscrapers couldn’t dampen my energy. One of my brother’s most frequent complaints is that I’ve always been terrible at picking up on another’s interest in me. In New York it’s even worse as I’m entirely focused on my goal to get from Point A to Point B and treat pedestrian traffic more like obstacles in my path to avoid, pass, or draft behind than a potential dating/playtoy pool. Halfway down the block, my instincts jabbed me in my mental ribs to pierce my usual tunnel vision with a “Hey...oooh

Rope's First Whisper to Me

Kwesi loves rope. It’s spiritual for Him. Me...until a month ago, I was a complete Rope virgin.  I’ve been curious for years but never had the chance to indulge, so i was/am more than willing to explore with Him.  In fact, I cherish every kinky introduction He can claim for Himself.  At our age, firsts are truly special. Afterall, fewer of them exist if we've done our fair share of living. With the new year, He introduced me to Rope with a simple informal bit of tying.  His hands haven't help their sinuous strands for some time, so it was as much a re-acquaintance for Him as it was a first acquaintance for me.  He kept it basic.  No scene...no play...no sexy fun.  I sat peaceful and attentive as He wound the material around my wrists, but...I didn't get it.  I waited for some "ah-ha" moment/ experience/ emotion, but I found only a serene silence. My second feel of Rope was under much different circumstances.  We were smack in the middle of the most inten