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Showing posts from May, 2019

In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

My Terrible Friendship

I am a terrible friend. I am. At least by the status quo norms that social media has insidiously enabled society to embrace the last decade or so with their much sought after and longed for "likes" and "loves."  Though I can't blame it entirely on social media.  After all, look at cheeto-man.  He was an assholian narrcisist well before the rise of Facebook, Twitter and their enablement of surface-level one-sided mass approval, and he'd spent a lifetime surrounding himself with people who would go his way.  Unfortunately for my friends, I'm not a yes-man or more accurately a "yes-woman" as my pussy wielding self identifies as. That makes friendship with me sometimes difficult and complicated and even ego bruising. I'm not the cheerleader to rah-rah your anger blindly to "have your back."  You won't hear me blithely shout out a "Oh yeah girl!  Fuck him."  I need to see clearly where he wronged you before I get