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Showing posts with the label Freedom

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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The Primal Bitch None of You Warned Me About

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*** Drafted 11.21.23 *** Fuuuuuuuck...why didn't ANY of you warn me? Like...REALLY??? How many times have we sat together through classes, discussions, panels, round tables?  Yet NOT ONE of you mother fuckers said a damn thing about how this shit really might go down. Grrrrrrr... You ALL suck and officially can no longer be trusted.   She's been a part of me for so long.  She's guided me.  She's empowered me.  She's protected me. I thought I understood her. I thought I knew her. I thought I could anticipate her. But...this??? Fuuuuck…This is new fuckin territory, one I don't have a damn clue how to navigate, and if I'm honest, a part of me DOESN'T want to navigate it.  I just want to lose myself again and again to it.  To her.  To Him.   ~GROAN~ She just slips in and... Takes. Fucking. OVER! Again...you fuckers NEVER discussed THIS shit. That I wouldn't be...COULDN'T be... Rational. Reasonable. Thoughtful. Considerate. IN FUCKIN CONTROL. ~sigh
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Writer's Tears & a Bronx Fire Escape

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2am.  Top space has me tightly in its fist.  Sisterhood bonded.  Energy shared.  Knowledge imparted.  Friendship built.  The truths we reveal sippin Writer's Tears in the cool breeze on a Bronx fire escape and over platefuls of piping hot empanadas leave us nowhere to hide. Leather Living explained...the sex...the pain.  A different level of it all.  Messy.  Hot and sweaty.  Piss.  Even shit.  Real.  Raw passion ripped from flesh and spirit without filter.  Tears licked.  We leatherfolk wallow in the grit and purity of our religion because there...we find our truest selves. The floor...fuck yes that mother fuckin floor.  Where there is no pride or ego.  Where we let go.  Where we are stripped bare of everything... Except our fucking surrender.  To the Universe.  To one another.  To ourselves.  To the One who in that moment holds our pain, our minds, our hearts, our bodies, our very fucking souls. The floor is where serenity and peace finally find us. Amazing fucking night.   ~Domin
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3am Seeking Surrender

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It's 3:00am on a warm Spring night in NYC.  The city and its inhabitants have dozed off, gaining strength for tomorrow's usual urban push and shove.  I should be asleep.  I wish I was asleep, but for the first time in a long time, the need to surrender dogs my soul.  It's fucking ironic that the toughest moments of being unowned always seem to be after I've been in Top Space.  How fucking cliche and stereotypical is that?  ~augh~ Anyone who knows me understands those are two adjective rarely applicable to me, but it is what it is. No, I didn't beat anyone's ass, but tonight I test drove another class. the one I was most unsure of concept wise—The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics.   It was a LOT of fucking content, but the concept seems to have resonated well with the handful of seasoned M/s veterans I tested my theory with tonight.   The Top Space energy combined with the vibe of success has left me humming.  I've meditated. 
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Why I March Tomorrow

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Tomorrow millions in the world will celebrate, but tomorrow is not MY day.  I am white cis gender essentially straight woman.  So why am I planning to be in Manhattan and march in  NYC Pride Parade ? I will march because I wholeheartedly believe that love is love and should be celebrated and normalized. I will march so that my children and maybe their children can live whatever lives they choose on THEIR terms not the narrow minded terms of others. I will march for my friends and family who can't march or who won't march because they are rightfully too worried about consequences should their lifestyle be public.   I will march to support my family, my friends, and strangers who are stunningly beautiful and fiercely brave as their LGBTQ+ selves. I will march for sexual freedom, for alternative relationship styles, for kinky lifestyles.  I will march in solidarity with the broader NYC kink community and extended family that I am firmly a part of who will
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