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Showing posts from October, 2020

In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

A Lioness at the Mouth of Her Liar

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It's been rare that I write from the soul anymore.   Most of 2019, I was flat out too busy.  Hell...I've never been that "socially" busy in my life, and I didn't even have a relationship to service!  LOL Friends.  Work.  Family.  Pledging.  My co-hosted Lifestyle discussion groups—S&M.NYC and NYC slave Meetings.  The Community in general.  I'd spend 12+ hours in Manhattan, coming home to my Borough exhausted yet satisfied I'd made the most of my day and the opportunities in front of me. Then 2020...fuck what a damn mess.  I saw it coming earlier than others, and I started to prepare practically as well as mentally and emotionally.  Yet, the reality of it was nothing I'd imagined.  The endless scream of the sirens until finally...blessedly...someone official must have told them to cut the sound.  No cars, no bikes, no people dared our once energy-pulsing streets.  The coo of pigeons and tentative tweets of birds I don't know the name of filtered