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Showing posts with the label surrender

The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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My First Paddling

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From the beginning of my jump down the lifestyle rabbit hole, paddles were hard limits.  Nothing about those thick wood implements ever felt right.  Wood is beautiful.  As homes, furniture, accents the natural fibers sing to me.  However, physicality, my skin was not drawn to the energy.  Mentally and emotionally, what I didn't comprehend until recently was that the entire interaction of paddling felt like...TOO MUCH power exchange, too deep of submission. The surrender too…absolute.  Instinctively given the relationships I held over the years, everything in me would state definitively, "Hell the fuck no," and over the first thirteen years of kink and masochism, never once was I tempted or even curious. Until Him. Then that first night…well morning actually, I took from Him what no Man had ever given me.  My first kiss of a paddle (as well as many other things I never realized I needed.).  He sent me to my fucking knees with a single swat. Knees q...
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My Truth

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I've bottomed to Tops, but no one has ever truly seen me surrender or submit.  Whatever glimpse they may have seen of something...it was/is nothing compared to how I instinctively respond to THAT beautiful, sexy Man.  With Him...I surrender and submit with everything I am and everything I wish I could be.  Under, guiding, grounding all of my practical personalities and acts of service, the Truth is... The very sight of Him can bring me to tears.   The smell of Him grounds and eases my spirit. His voice, my compass to bring me Home. His touch effortlessly reaches in and can either settle or shakes the depths of my soul. The taste of Him is my Redemption. To have Him fill me, take me, claim me is my Ascension to Divine transformation. My Truth is... I fuckin Worship That Man. The ground He walks on. The very air He breathes.   My surrender to Him, His will, His needs, His comfort, His well-being are my True North.   I am simply His Lioness, Alf...
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The Value of Helplessness

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Dread’s post and a conversation with my sister, Malika, has had me pondering the unlikely (for me) topic… the value of helplessness. Anyone who has met/engaged with me even on the most basic level would agree I am far from being anyone’s damsel in distress.  I am competent.  I am relatively self-sufficient.  I am fierce.  If cornered, I can be damn near fuckin dangerous.  I live, work, and conquer one of the most demanding and chaotic cities in the world.  I've faced countless shitty, insurmountable situations that I couldn't change, but I always had control of me.  I fought.  I hunkered down.  I changed course.  I did what I had to do to survive. However, numerous times 2024 kicked my ass and left me with no choice but to BE helplessness.  “BE.”  I couldn't fight or change course.  There was no surrender.  There was no give in.  There was no fuckin option.  Each time, I had zero say of my state.  Each ...
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The Drops

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When He sends me back to the world I once considered my norm, it’s never pretty. I drop into fuckin savagery. Whether for a day or two or three, the civilized protocols and service I embrace when I'm with Him fall away as primal survival skills and a rudimentary existence rise once again to the surface. Last time the incessant eye twitch was the wake-up call that snapped me out of my relentless focus of the concrete path in front of me.  For hours I'd battled the mental and physical churn of Midtown's Friday rush hour madness, trying to accomplish my tasks, but the warning at my brow eventually registered, and I paused on the dark sidewalk amid the unending noise and flow of humanity to assess my body. My head throbbed. My breathing was shallow. Tension I used to carry daily but had forgotten about during the last few months had seeped into my shoulders and crawled up my neck. My hips, relaxed and at ease just that morning in His cave, now ached and begged to stretch in s...
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Enough is Enough | To Take Root

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I find myself in unfamiliar territory.  This whole...actually being led thing.   Not in the bedroom. Not in some kinky-fuckery. Not in a litany of "Yes, Sir.  May I, Sir?" protocols. Not in put-on-a-sexy-dress. Not in oh-bring-me-food. Don't get me wrong... He does lead me in those ways.  Well... most anyway.  I'm not sure he even cares what I wear. lol  Those common leadership tactics are all ones I have experience in and can manage (on most days) to follow without stumbling or making an ass of myself.  On rare occasions, I might even succeed with some measure of grace.   The unfamiliar territory I mean is plain old Real Life—an area no one has dared try to lead me for... decades.  That was never what partners and I was doin.  They didn't have a Vision, the Desire, the Wisdom, the Strength, or the damn Authority to Guide, Nurture, Protect, let alone make Decisions that would have real world consequences regarding how I li...
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The Embers

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I knew from the beginning we could be amazing, but every time we take a step or a leap forward, I'm a little in awe of what I find. The calm, steady, and the quiet of Him... holds me in a way I've never felt.  Solid, secure, grounded deep in the Earth like a mighty sequoia, yet there's an indescribable freedom and flow and lightness that let's me dance with butterflies and moonbeams.    The joy of light and laughter... took my breath away and filled me to overflowing.  The doors and cabinets and hidden nooks willingly opened to see deeper.  Long walks on the beach.  Playful teasing.  Hands held.  Smiles and hugs and kisses.  All of it...Pure magic and wonder. The bliss of physical work, logical collaboration, and addicting progress... my bones, my muscles, my pores, my soul drank it all in after being starved so long from the purpose and act of doing.  I can't even explain...it's that trusted North Star—His Vision and Direction—that fuel...
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In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply...
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The Edge of His Darkness

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It’s 3am. I should be unconscious, earning another two or three face creases from sleeping soundly on His t-shirt, but in the shadows and silence and blessed fuckin stillness, I selfishly steal the time from my pile of obligations to travel back to our last night, our last morning, and just savor the memories.  Words, images, moments flicker through my mind.  Until I settle there.  That.  I hit replay and replay and replay. Fuck. What He did to me….   What I can’t even bring myself to fuckin type.  Even here. No one has dared.  Except Him.  Except Him.  Except Him. Looking back, I see clearly the presence I had felt.  It was there.  In the look carved on His face.  The edge of a Darkness that He holds tightly at bay had come to watch me.  Somehow... after so long... I had caught His interest again.   I met His gaze without fear, and His vicious response was absolute. There was no warning.   No pre...
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Primal Surrender

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02.13.24 My last post was an attempt to release the frantic need for Him clawing through my mind and soul.  It didn't help much.  I had to drown myself in the intellectual distractions of startup plans instead while I tried in vain to ignore my lioness as she continued to batter against the cage of her reality: vanilla work, doctor's post-dental surgery instructions, a damn Nor'easter.  Finally last night, exhausted, she tucked her tail, curled into a ball, and fell silent and still.   There was no more fight left in her.   There isn't any today either. Again... I don't want to talk to anyone. Hear anyone. See anyone. Touch anyone. My lioness just wants to hide away in her cave.  She doesn't give a fuck about being responsible or being social or the fucking world.   Only He can soothe her and rouse her from her retreat and sleep.  Though tonight she would be hard pressed to summon any of the energy from her last post.  However,...
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Unreasonable State of Mind

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My lioness grew restless this evening. Within a couple of hours her agitation only amplified.  I tried to acknowledge her wants, but I simply became more aware of her discomfort. I tried a little talk therapy.  That wasn't enough either. I tried to find peace in sleep, but a nightmare only chased me down like a relentless dog.  When I finally woke, I understood what I had to do. I've learned when the energy shifts, however it shifts, I must trust it, flow with it. Let it lead me—physically, mentally, emotionally—wherever I am meant to go, so I may know or experience whatever deeper truth I am meant to find. To fight its current only makes shit harder and wastes time. I must surrender to its demand. Acknowledging her state wasn't enough. I needed to own her truth. This...is me owning my truth. This...is my surrender. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's been less than 18 hours since I was last in His arms, against His heat, the taste of His flesh on my tongue, the sound ...
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The Co-Creation of a New Service Dialect | My Initial Steps

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I am very slowly learning, attempting, exploring a new service dialect that I know little to nothing about. Most would think, "No big deal," especially for me.  I consistently reach for new information, ideas, points of view to add to my toolbox, especially in the lifestyle through classes, discussions, panels, cons, etc.  Those closest to me have graciously poured endless tanker trucks of knowledge, concepts, and skills into me over the years, fueling my Lifestyle Journey as well as my personal and professional paths.  I am curious as hell and don't hesitate to find ways to feed my often voracious mind.   But when a romantic interest who would RECEIVE said service is the One instructing and assessing my progress of GIVING service???  Oh...that shit is a completely new experience for me in addition to the subject matter.   There was, of course, the fresh breeze in my mind that always happens when opening up new pathways for growth, but I hadn...
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At The Mercy of His Hands

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It’s been two fucking days, yet my cunt still weeps for Him as if His dripping fingers had only just stopped sinking into my hot, juicy, greedy, clenching hole.  Hasn't mattered where I have been or what I have been doing.  Work, writing, waiting too long for a damn bus that never arrived, nibbling at food, catching up with my Board, commuting through the city via my feet, trains, and cabs, I have just been...soaked for the last 48+ hours.   I was wet before my Uber had even crossed Whitestone from the Bronx in my cross-borough pilgrimage.  As the twinkle of Manhattan's skyline beckoned in the distance, my disorganized mind and unexpectedly chaotic nerves froze in recognition of that solitary truth my slick thighs spoke of.  My body was already reaching for Him—had already completely surrendered—despite the illogic, the lack of plans, the absence of sexy anticipatory promises.  My body knew something my mind didn't, a trend that has continued to intens...
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Laundry Service Revelations

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Shit. I folded his clothes. I’m not joking. I got within two feet of that soft warm heap of pants, shirts, tees, briefs, and socks, and my hands instinctively dove in like I’d done this for him a thousand times before.  Zero hesitation.  I paused briefly in shaking out a shirt to ask a quick question on preference and kept right on serving...In sheer fuckin bliss. SMH. Context...I haven’t folded a man’s clothes in over seven years. Hell, I don’t even fold my own clothes.  NYC's relationship with laundry is a bit different than most of this country's.  Between no in-apartment appliances and a sucky commute that eats an entire functional day a week, it’s NYC drop off service for me, please and thank you.  However, it's more than just practicalities responsible for the seven year hiatus, and there is a significance within my simple actions that I can’t ignore. Truth | I essentially have a long-established hard limit: Unless there is an emergency, urgent need, o...
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Before I Rise

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I am tired.  The last few weeks—hell, the last few months—have cracked open my shell, crumbled walls, unlocked doors, and shed light on new untraveled paths.   At the moment, I am fucking raw.  Like a newborn whose skin is soft and tender and delicate. The only thing I want. The only thing I need. The only thing my instincts scream for... Is to kneel quietly, rest my head at the feet, and utterly surrender to an Owner's hand in my hair and grip at the back of my neck. Tomorrow, my lioness will rise once more, but tonight...that would be everything. ~DominaKat
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To Own Me | An Answer to My Critics

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I'm too independent... I'm too intense... I'm too deep... To be on the right side of the slash? No problem.  Because I'm not – nor will I ever be – your fucking problem. I fully acknowledge that I am all the things my many critics have accused me of, and I apologize for none of it.  I can be nothing but my authentic self, and I refuse to restrain myself or be less, so others can be more comfortable with who I am or how I identify.  Fuck you for thinking I should.   I am a V12. The Man who chooses to Own me will be able to...        Race the shadows of the night.      Hug the curves life throws us like we're on rails.      Rocket us in any the direction He seeks. I am a Lioness. The Man who dares to Own me will have...      A fierce protector at His side.      An apex predator to hunt the world with Him.      A primal beast under Him to sate His wickedest desires. ...
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Flesh Privileges

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Sometimes a bitch just needs to be snatched up.  A slow harmless caress that gently eases into thought-shattering pain.  In a heartbeat nothing mattered in my world but where His hand touched me. No passersbys on their way home from their Manhattan commute. No dog walkers following their four-legged companions along crowded sidewalks. No city bike riders feet from His driver's side door. All that mattered was my surrender to Him and the pain that echoed throughout my body. I needed His touch and bruising acts of methodical violence more than I needed my next breath. My world simply felt better suffering under Him. My masochist woke from her slumber and wept in relief. My Lioness stirred for the first time in weeks, listening in case He called. My whore longed for Him to spread her legs and take everything and anything He wanted from her. My dress crept up my thighs even as slickness drenched them. My hands clenched and teeth dug into my bottom lip. I lost count of my...
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Spontaneous Serendipity

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My Saturday did NOT go as I expected at ALL.  A whole lot of never ever coulda been planned spontaneous serendipity manifested that resulted in even MORE of DominaKat’s rules of order being broken and breaking open of multiple shoeboxes.   Fuck me...How the hell are these disorderly events becoming a THING?!?   ~whimper~  It was messy and beautiful and stomach lurching and thrilling and ended in a rituals of reverence that stole my breath away once again. The Universe is definitely demonstrating Her power and yes...some twisted Sadism. lol  As I watched Her simultaneously converge, in literally minutes and from multiple directions, various key stars in my sky, my vision may have swam.  I wasn’t fuckin prepared for any of it, which is also starting to feel like another damn theme in my life of late , but I trusted, gave in, and surrendered again to Her will.  What was meant to be was gonna be, regardless of my comfortability.  She ha...
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The Seduction of Earth Energy

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It was around 7pm when I first felt its whispers.  From my spot—legs spread wide to stretch on the warm sand—a dark, earthy, slow-as-shit pulse began to seep into my cunt and lick my thighs, calves, and feet.  Within 30 minutes, the energy shift was tangible, from Coney Island's daytime chaos of fusion jazz with a thousand cymbal clashes and multiple keyboard lines to evening's more grounded, indigenous bass line of drums that teased and seduced my soul.  As folks departed the beach, the natural earth energy, no longer held down by the mass of humanity's emotion and need, rose like a tide to wash over me and snatch me down to its lair.   Stripped of emotions and encased in a cool comforting Peace, every part of me slowed down to a crawl.  After revving high for days...weeks...I purred at idled as the sun dropped behind the manufactured lights and gave way to the sharp glow of a New Moon...new beginnings. That was last night.   More than 16 hours l...
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