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Showing posts with the label Sadistic Bitch

In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

Writer's Tears & a Bronx Fire Escape

2am.  Top space has me tightly in its fist.  Sisterhood bonded.  Energy shared.  Knowledge imparted.  Friendship built.  The truths we reveal sippin Writer's Tears in the cool breeze on a Bronx fire escape and over platefuls of piping hot empanadas leave us nowhere to hide. Leather Living explained...the sex...the pain.  A different level of it all.  Messy.  Hot and sweaty.  Piss.  Even shit.  Real.  Raw passion ripped from flesh and spirit without filter.  Tears licked.  We leatherfolk wallow in the grit and purity of our religion because there...we find our truest selves. The floor...fuck yes that mother fuckin floor.  Where there is no pride or ego.  Where we let go.  Where we are stripped bare of everything... Except our fucking surrender.  To the Universe.  To one another.  To ourselves.  To the One who in that moment holds our pain, our minds, our hearts, our bodies, our very fucking souls. The floor is where serenity and peace finally find us. Amazing fucking night.   ~Domin

Adventures in Online Dating | Post #1: The Art of Peopling

After spending years (pandemic) getting seriously reacquainted with my Introvert and enabling my Service Whore to over-extend herself beyond fucking reason, I'm trying to reconnect to the mysterious art of peopling.   I had no choice but to face up to the reality that my peopling skills are rusty as fuck when at SPLF I was stunned into confused silence from a basic personal question during a first in-person intro.  If they had asked about any number of service projects or classes, I could have easily rattled off dialog.  But a simple, polite "You fascinate me.  Tell me about yourself," slammed my thought processes from Fourth into Reverse, grinding gears and causing significant damage to my mental transmission.  Later reflection...I need to practice more personal engagements. It's time to transition fully outta Pandemic Mode and feed other pieces of me besides my Introvert and Service Whore.  Note:  Introvert resents and rebels against this effort with almost every st

TES Fest 2022 | Vendors & My Groaning Wallet

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Series | TES Fest 2022 Essay #3 | Vendors & My Groaning Wallet FINALLY...a week later, I finish UNPACKING from TES Fest!  Unlike packing, this process allowed me to unwrap, touch, and/or play with all the goodies I brought home with me, so there were little bursts of joy to carry me through the week as I emptied one bag and then another.  ") I'd purchased a number of custom pieces over the last 2 1/2 years from folks like Whispers of Fire Fet | Website , Whips by Axel Fet | Website , Toolworks Chicago Fet | Website , and UniqueKink Fet | Website , so my S&M Toolbox was VERY well set.  Yes...Kinky Retail Therapy during the pandemic was a thing for me...don't judge. lol Knowing my toolbox was already too damn big to take with me any-fucking-where anymore, my Lifestyle spending for 2022 was going to focus more on gear.  After all, I AM doing the Con/Run thing now!  Gotta show up and represent, right???  I'd browsed the TES Fest Vendor websites, but meh...only

Confessions of a Monster

The following piece was written for last night's ONYX Pearls NY-NE's February 2021 Event—Confessions of Love & Lust: Spoken Word & Cigar Social. My first public reading... ") Thank you to my Leather Sisters and Siblings for the chance to share my words and to everyone who attended as well as ALL the love and finger snaps for my piece!!! ~DominaKat Another long winter’s night has consumed the city, and the cold has seeped well into its pores. A glance out the window of my five story walkup proves again that the once never dormant streets of New York are abandoned. No souls dare the bitter walk or the lonely drive at this hour. With a sigh I roll over, and my nude flesh snuggles deeper into my warm nest of dark linen sheets and soft blankets. Only the strange unbroken silence of a pandemic-gripped world and haunting memories of long ago passion attempt to lull me to dreams. Despite exhaustion nagging my soul, sleep refuses to come. Maybe...if I confess...mayb

Where is Your Energy Source? | Sado-centric, Maso-centric, Partner-centric, Self-Centric

A couple years ago I attended an absolutely great class, Masco-curious?  It was my third local kink event in the city, and it added MUCH to my personal thought arsenal on S&M.  This small, casual, humble class led by two very different masochists opened about a half dozen doorways for me and was instrumental in putting me on the path that has led to my today.  (I seriously can't thank them enough!)  Despite doing lifestyle shit and being on Fet for the previous seven years, my "education" had truly been limited, based primarily on whatever my partners during that time were comfortable with or various anecdotal writings rather than a study of the craft. ~~~ IMPORTANT SIDEBAR ~~~ Yes!  I said CRAFT!  What we do is a CRAFT, and in order to MASTER the CRAFT of S&M you need to study, study, practice, practice, and do more of both almost infinitely!  No...ya don't get good at this shit by buying equipment at the mainstream "spice up your sex life" store

Blood on My Claws

I am fucking fierce in protecting those I love.  It's not a pretty thing, nor is it kind.  When a battle line is drawn and a fight is at hand, I pull no punches with my team or against those that seek to cause harm.  Everything I say is true.  My recommendations are 95% of the time on point. My ex used to say I that I often handed out the truth on a garbage can lid rather than serve it on fine china.  He was right.  When the truth is ugly, I've found most people pretend it's not there if it's sitting on pretty, fragile, dinnerware.  But when time is of the essence and the risk is great, slam that garbage can lid on the ground at someone's feet, and usually they finally quit fucking around and acknowledge its reality. I can be ruthless.  I can be vicious.  I will fucking draw blood and feel no remorse.  I never start shit, but I will fucking finish it. I've learned the hard way that bullies, manipulators, and attackers rarely take hints.  Hints or nudg

The Inspiration of a Stranger

I dashed up the familiar subway stairs. I’d made good time on my morning commute. I was feeling good. Real good. Dr. Dre and Snoop pounded through my headphones and my bones, setting my pace and encouraging an extra bit of sass to the sway of my hips. When my feet met the concrete sidewalk, I turned my long stride toward the office and smoothly weaved between confused tourists and the fragmented line for the donut street cart. Even the chilly overcast skies cramped between the steel grey skyscrapers couldn’t dampen my energy. One of my brother’s most frequent complaints is that I’ve always been terrible at picking up on another’s interest in me. In New York it’s even worse as I’m entirely focused on my goal to get from Point A to Point B and treat pedestrian traffic more like obstacles in my path to avoid, pass, or draft behind than a potential dating/playtoy pool. Halfway down the block, my instincts jabbed me in my mental ribs to pierce my usual tunnel vision with a “Hey...oooh

The Symphony of Pain

Tell me...What is your relationship with Pain today? Is it a comforting friend? A brutal foe to endure or conquer? An entertaining date who provides temporary distraction? The thrilling dance partner? A longed for lover that seduces you to submit your dark hedonistic desires? Or the monster to torment and devour your willing soul? A palm’s sharp blow. The rhythmic licks of the floggers' fall.  A paddle’s thunderous smack. The snap and slap of a belt’s lash. A crop’s brutal bite.  The vicious strike of a cane. A whip’s hot kiss. Their impact varies but can all be manipulated with the mindfuck. The best Sadists pluck those mental and emotional strings to accompany pain’s delicious melody and orchestrate a symphony. When the last note rings in the air how will you want to feel? Soothed or victorious? Relaxed or exhilarated? Post orgasmic, sated, and high from sexual bliss? Or an exhausted sobbing heap on the floor broken and bruised? Tell me.

My Lil Monster v1.0

Now that my submissive has finally found freedom with a Lion who understands how hard I need to run and who is brave enough to traverse the dark paths I've longed to explore, I've discovered My Lil Sadistic Monster hidden in the deepest dark shadows of my soul. With my Owner's and several close friends' encouragement, I get closer and closer to this Wild Thing. I watch My Lil Monster.  I feed Her little bites when I go to meet ups/munches, classes, and the occasional party. I can soooo feel when my Sadist perks up at a juicy morsel. ~GROWL~ While I’m not quite ready to act on anything - or maybe I should say anyONE - I recognize that that time is rapidly approaching.  This post has been months in the making, as I've gotten to know at least My Lil Monster's initial basic rules, needs, desires, and limits. First and FOREMOST it needs to be clear.   No one HAS to play with My Sadistic Bitch.   Really.  I am a FIRM believer in respecting others’ needs and l

My Sadistic Lil Monster

For years, those closest to me have encouraged my Dominant kink side.  They hoped to see my ferocity translate in the kinky realm.  I dabbled from time to time Topping but could never find the right path in my mind. I kick ass in the vanilla world, and my Ice Bitch/Warrior would absolutely rise when life demands their necessity. Yet I always kept them firmly within very defined boundaries. Some part of me knew I'd be unleashing something I couldn't control on the world. My New Journey this year has expanded my kinky horizon on many different levels.  I've watched.  I've learned.  I've grown. With each step something... more  has stirred in the back of my soul. For the first time, the pieces have started to fall together in my mind, and I've found my way to a buried dark dungeon.  I can now clearly see My Sadistic Lil Monster.  That Beast has always been a part of me, but has simply slept forever in my soul.  Her dreams have whispered to me for decades, b