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Showing posts with the label service

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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Primal Surrender

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02.13.24 My last post was an attempt to release the frantic need for Him clawing through my mind and soul.  It didn't help much.  I had to drown myself in the intellectual distractions of startup plans instead while I tried in vain to ignore my lioness as she continued to batter against the cage of her reality: vanilla work, doctor's post-dental surgery instructions, a damn Nor'easter.  Finally last night, exhausted, she tucked her tail, curled into a ball, and fell silent and still.   There was no more fight left in her.   There isn't any today either. Again... I don't want to talk to anyone. Hear anyone. See anyone. Touch anyone. My lioness just wants to hide away in her cave.  She doesn't give a fuck about being responsible or being social or the fucking world.   Only He can soothe her and rouse her from her retreat and sleep.  Though tonight she would be hard pressed to summon any of the energy from her last post.  However, there will be no soothing due to r
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The Co-Creation of a New Service Dialect | My Initial Steps

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I am very slowly learning, attempting, exploring a new service dialect that I know little to nothing about. Most would think, "No big deal," especially for me.  I consistently reach for new information, ideas, points of view to add to my toolbox, especially in the lifestyle through classes, discussions, panels, cons, etc.  Those closest to me have graciously poured endless tanker trucks of knowledge, concepts, and skills into me over the years, fueling my Lifestyle Journey as well as my personal and professional paths.  I am curious as hell and don't hesitate to find ways to feed my often voracious mind.   But when a romantic interest who would RECEIVE said service is the One instructing and assessing my progress of GIVING service???  Oh...that shit is a completely new experience for me in addition to the subject matter.   There was, of course, the fresh breeze in my mind that always happens when opening up new pathways for growth, but I hadn't considered the nuances
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At The Mercy of His Hands

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It’s been two fucking days, yet my cunt still weeps for Him as if His dripping fingers had only just stopped sinking into my hot, juicy, greedy, clenching hole.  Hasn't mattered where I have been or what I have been doing.  Work, writing, waiting too long for a damn bus that never arrived, nibbling at food, catching up with my Board, commuting through the city via my feet, trains, and cabs, I have just been...soaked for the last 48+ hours.   I was wet before my Uber had even crossed Whitestone from the Bronx in my cross-borough pilgrimage.  As the twinkle of Manhattan's skyline beckoned in the distance, my disorganized mind and unexpectedly chaotic nerves froze in recognition of that solitary truth my slick thighs spoke of.  My body was already reaching for Him—had already completely surrendered—despite the illogic, the lack of plans, the absence of sexy anticipatory promises.  My body knew something my mind didn't, a trend that has continued to intensify and shows no sign
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Laundry Service Revelations

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Shit. I folded his clothes. I’m not joking. I got within two feet of that soft warm heap of pants, shirts, tees, briefs, and socks, and my hands instinctively dove in like I’d done this for him a thousand times before.  Zero hesitation.  I paused briefly in shaking out a shirt to ask a quick question on preference and kept right on serving...In sheer fuckin bliss. SMH. Context...I haven’t folded a man’s clothes in over seven years. Hell, I don’t even fold my own clothes.  NYC's relationship with laundry is a bit different than most of this country's.  Between no in-apartment appliances and a sucky commute that eats an entire functional day a week, it’s NYC drop off service for me, please and thank you.  However, it's more than just practicalities responsible for the seven year hiatus, and there is a significance within my simple actions that I can’t ignore. Truth | I essentially have a long-established hard limit: Unless there is an emergency, urgent need, or serious il
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Reflection & a New Path

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SPLF 23 represented a abrupt shift in my journey.  I wasn't prepared to be seen, to be acknowledged in the sea of humanity, to be wrapped in tight hugs. let alone be fiercely protected and held firmly side-by-side.  I was both deeply humbled and profoundly honored.  Many times. Those five days in Dallas moved me and pushed me on another new path of transformation. After years of pandemic coping that focused only on areas in my life I could evolve, I remembered I had a heart. And...After years of watching how individuals moved/did not move, stood/did not stand, built/attempted to destroy, were 100% authentic/fakers of funk, driven by idealistic goals/greedy self-promotion, I realized I needed fucking space to breathe. Since the Spring, I've been reevaluating how I move, what I give, when I should engage, where I need to be, and who I directly or indirectly offer my co-signature.  I've taken many healthy steps to create a more positive environment for myself and connected in
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Spontaneous Serendipity

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My Saturday did NOT go as I expected at ALL.  A whole lot of never ever coulda been planned spontaneous serendipity manifested that resulted in even MORE of DominaKat’s rules of order being broken and breaking open of multiple shoeboxes.   Fuck me...How the hell are these disorderly events becoming a THING?!?   ~whimper~  It was messy and beautiful and stomach lurching and thrilling and ended in a rituals of reverence that stole my breath away once again. The Universe is definitely demonstrating Her power and yes...some twisted Sadism. lol  As I watched Her simultaneously converge, in literally minutes and from multiple directions, various key stars in my sky, my vision may have swam.  I wasn’t fuckin prepared for any of it, which is also starting to feel like another damn theme in my life of late , but I trusted, gave in, and surrendered again to Her will.  What was meant to be was gonna be, regardless of my comfortability.  She has taken a very firm hand with me the last couple of mo
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The Opportunity to Worship

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Mmmm...I DEEPLY appreciate and raise up a Man who sees an opportunity and seizes on it without hesitation or apology and leans in to deliberately make room, make time, make the fucking most of what is in front of Him. He didn't sit on the sidelines. He didn't have to find His balls. He didn't think on it for eons. He didn't waste fuckin time. ^^^ALL THAT is HOT as HELL.  My cunt drips just thinking/typing those words and acknowledging those truths.  Thoughtful action toward opportunity and vision seems to be sadly lacking in the world these days. He ordered a good ole fashioned dick worshipping and informed my other holes they had the night off.  I eagerly and gratefully did my very best to comply.   He took from and demanded of me every fuckin thing I craved and then some.  I didn't even have to ask for Round 2.  He simply stated that's what we was doing.  Honestly, I’m…shell-shocked.  First time in the 13+ years of doing WIITWD that any man has granted my int
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The Need to Worship

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Most days I handle business like a champ and get done what needs to get done if not more.  Then there are other days.  Today is/was one of those days.  The ONLY thing that consumes my mind is having THAT dick in my mouth.  Not for just a few minutes.  Naaaa...I want His dick in my mouth for fucking hours. I. Fucking. Crave... The sight of Him hard and ready, silently demanding I get to work like a good whore. That first sexy earthy taste of Him on my greedy tongue. The feel of that baby soft skin stretched tight over blood-flooded dick as it slides through my hungry lips. The intoxicating scent of Him as my nose presses up against His base while I try to breathe with the head of His dick jammed down my throat.  The sound...oh fuck yessss...those sloppy, messy, nasty sounds of suction and saliva when I release His head, the slurps of the excess spit drenching His meat, of gags and coughs after He grabs a fist of my hair and holds himself against the back of my throat for way longer than
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DominaKat's Lifestyle Classes I What I Teach & Bio

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Updated | 05.20.23 CLASS LIST The 12 Goals of S&M: Foundations for Scenecrafting | Class Write Up Fail Fast, Fail Often, Fail Forward: Normalizing (the Reality of) Failure as a Part of Growth in the Lifestyle | Class Write Up - Coming Soon! Note | Session can be tailored toward a focus of BDSM, Authority Transfer, or Leather Community if desired. The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Intro - 90m or Intensive - 3hrs | Class Write Up Day Workshop - 6 hrs | Includes additional guided self-reflection, group discussions, & self-assessment workbook Know Your Service Boundaries: Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore (for BOTH sides of the /) | Class Write Up The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Series Session 1 | The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey for Marginalized Communities within Kink & Leather | Class Write Up Session 2 | Ally~Advocate~Warrior Tactics for Individuals, Organizers, and Groups in Leather & Kink | Class Write Up Follow On/Up |
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CLASS WRITE UP | Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore

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Title  |  Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore ~a part of the 9 Service Languages curriculum~ Format  | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck, Menti Polling & Group Discussion Duration  | ~ 90m Target Audience  | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced in Service-Oriented Roles little & BIG Letters anyone in service to a partner, relationship, House, organization, event, or the Community at Large Description  | Service—a cornerstone for many who practice Authority Transfer or engage with the Community—is treated almost as social currency within the Lifestyle or even the tithe we offer our beliefs.  However, while we fully support, embrace, and champion S&M Boundaries, little is ever even whispered about Service Boundaries.  This silence is a detriment to the individuals involved as well as to the overall Community.  Most of us can name at least one person who has sacrificed too much in the name of service and face
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An Update | Resignation from LSC

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If I've learned anything the last year, it's how some folks will choose to run their mouth without a lick of common sense or truth, so I prefer to embrace as much transparency as appropriate in an effort to minimize any self-service spin/narrative others may attempt.  However, I do recognize that they're gonna talk shit regardless.  LOL I had hoped Spring would simply allow me the opportunity to decrease my hours in service to the community a bit, but unfortunately matters have taken a different turn.  Despite my FIERCE belief in the mission and efforts of The Leather Solidarity Collective (LSC) and the incredible success LSC had at our historic collaboration with South Plains LeatherFest, it is with profound sadness that I discontinued my service and resigned yesterday (04.07.23) from LSC due to a conflict of interest not of my making. This has been a difficult and painful decision.  Loyalty, commitment, and advocating for the BIPOC Community are a few of my core values an
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SPLF 2023 | Session Info/Resources

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Intro to 9 Service Languages Session Service Languages/Dialects Handout External Resources/Books Link The Journey from Ally to Advocate to Warrior for Marginalized Communities within Kink and Leather The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey Handout
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Kink/BDSM/Leather Books & Resources

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Lit Fires & Those Who Feed the Flames

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It's launched.  After two long years, The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics !  This concept came over me in the Spring of 2020 in the middle of the initial NYC COVID outbreak and REFUSED to slip into the lost files of my mind.  When I previewed my very rough ugly concept outline a few weeks later to each of my personal Board of Directors, my first questions were "Who's already put this idea together?  Who's already written this book?"  All of them laughed and said, "No one.  I've never seen Service put out there like this.  I guess you need to be the one."  My fate was sealed.   The concept persisted even when I was overwhelmed with grief at the deep loss of my close friend and Member of my Board of Directors, through the brutal workload that was UPRISE! 2021, while handling needs of my closest family, and as I did my best to dodge the numerous COVID surges that plague our communities.  However, for much of the la
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CLASS WRITE UP | The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics

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After two long years, I am FINALLY launching my M/s class—The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics!  Special thanks to the late BlackMusic for sitting through my very early stage versions in the Summer of 2020 to pressure test and debate the concept I was pulling together.  His support and encouragement helped me believe in the idea that refused to fade from my mind.   Note | There will eventually be additional class structures (duration/intensity levels) of this material.  Still working out those options! ") ~DominaKat  Title | The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Format | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck Duration | Intro Class - 90m; Intensive - 180m  Target Audience | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced Description | The number of ways to Serve within an Authority Transfer relationship or dynamic is infinite.  Each one is customized to suit the individuals involved, and with long-standing P/partn
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The Climb to the Next Step

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Anyone who knows me or has been in a class/discussion/panel/meeting with me knows I have something to say about 85% of the time.  I don't speak from ego or for attention.  I'm an idealist, so the ideas and discussion are my focus and where I find my passion.  Seriously...I can get wet from conference sessions .  ~eye roll~  I'm weird.  I know.  My point is...the learning, discussing, knowledge sharing is my zen! While I try not to speak unless my comments, thoughts, or ideas have relevance to the discussion, the value of my words is always subjective to the listener, and since my attention is trained on the presentation or discussion at hand, I'm usually oblivious to whether my words resonate to people.  This is pretty much the case with my writings as well.  I don't write for an audience.  I write to unpack, sort through, and assemble the puzzle pieces in my mind.   Over time as I've attended community events and even created and/or hosted my own events, I star
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Silver Linings

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Despite my struggles to find my footing in this start of a new normal, I hold tremendous gratitude in my heart and being for the many, many silver linings I found in the Cat 5 Hurricane that was the pandemic. My parents and adult kids have remained safe and long-term healthy to date.   I stayed safe, mostly sane, and relatively healthy aside from a few stress-induced pounds and lack of exercise. Employment...so incredibly grateful that I was immediately able to shift to remote work. Zoom...though like most...I am sick of fuckin zoom! LOL  However, I am eternally grateful for this platform's massive contribution to society during the gravest of times.   Being able to see family and my dearest friends on the regular kept me grounded and productive. My core friendships deepened exponentially.  Without the distraction of long commutes, wait staff and food, a secondary aspect of entertainment whether it was a class, a movie, shopping, an exhibit, a jazz performance...we had time and foc
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2021 | Dream Big

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In the time of Covid, to dream takes on a whole new meaning.  To dream of better days.  To dream of our mask-free past and someday future filled with the warmth of friends close by and laughter in the air.  To dream of carefree travel.  Of love and romance and of course...hope.  Of the sexiness of withering flesh and sweet pain at play parties, joyous leather bar nights with thumping bass, and of warm conferences where we gathered en masse as community. Fortunately, I'm not the type of masochist to dwell on things outside my reach or ability to manifest.  I refuse to torment myself with the thoughts of what cannot be.  I wait.  Someday the world and the advances of medical science will safely re-open all those doors once again to me and the community in some capacity. Until then...with emotional and physical needs like love, play, kinkiness, submission, topping, relationship(s), etc all trapped in the muck of Covid, my wheels have spun for months.  Books teased nuanced new flavors
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My First Lessons in Service

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Ten years ago when I first found the lifestyle, I'd also moved into my brother's little house at the end of a dead end road on the edge of town.  He'd shifted to a larger place for him and his family, and he pretty much told me...do whatever—as little or as much as—you want.  To put it kindly, he'd handed me enough to keep my busy for years.  Beyond the main backyard were several acres with the property that were EXTREMELY overgrown, and I mean chest-HIGH!  All I could see beyond that edge where lawn met wild were treetops that reached for the Ohio sky. From the first day I woke up to the birds and the breeze at the FOS (The Fortress of Solitude) I worked to make a difference to my surroundings.  Once I'd gotten the house somewhat settled, I started to pull overgrown weeds that bordered the yard.  I had no idea what I'd find once I got into the thick of it all, but the woods called to my soul.   Every day, I'd tug on my leather work gloves and pr
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