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Showing posts with the label Kink

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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Adventures in Online Dating | Post #1: The Art of Peopling

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After spending years (pandemic) getting seriously reacquainted with my Introvert and enabling my Service Whore to over-extend herself beyond fucking reason, I'm trying to reconnect to the mysterious art of peopling.   I had no choice but to face up to the reality that my peopling skills are rusty as fuck when at SPLF I was stunned into confused silence from a basic personal question during a first in-person intro.  If they had asked about any number of service projects or classes, I could have easily rattled off dialog.  But a simple, polite "You fascinate me.  Tell me about yourself," slammed my thought processes from Fourth into Reverse, grinding gears and causing significant damage to my mental transmission.  Later reflection...I need to practice more personal engagements. It's time to transition fully outta Pandemic Mode and feed other pieces of me besides my Introvert and Service Whore.  Note:  Introvert resents and rebels against this effort with almost every st
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Kink/BDSM/Leather Books & Resources

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A Return to Pleasure

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No lie, it's been waaaaaay too fucking long, and with the pandemic it's been incredibly difficult to create consistent sources of pleasure.  So difficult I'd forgotten what soul deep pleasure even felt like until tonight.  I was not ready.  I didn't have a clue what was in store for me.   Forty-five minutes into the most decadent, slow, insistent, thorough yet subtle mouth-fucking I've ever had, shivers ran down my spine as my senses and nerve endings finally caught up with and began to interpret correctly the seduction and sheer joy of my experience.  My entire body tingled, and in that instant when the visceral responses flooded my system...I surrendered and nearly cried. There was no rush.  Every minute felt longer than the last.  I never knew a leisurely mouth-fucking could be so damn epic.  Those steady, unassuming, nuanced strokes teased me with each mouthful.  My greedy lips gentled and discovered a rare patience as I sank into the wonder and delight of every
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Silver Linings

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Despite my struggles to find my footing in this start of a new normal, I hold tremendous gratitude in my heart and being for the many, many silver linings I found in the Cat 5 Hurricane that was the pandemic. My parents and adult kids have remained safe and long-term healthy to date.   I stayed safe, mostly sane, and relatively healthy aside from a few stress-induced pounds and lack of exercise. Employment...so incredibly grateful that I was immediately able to shift to remote work. Zoom...though like most...I am sick of fuckin zoom! LOL  However, I am eternally grateful for this platform's massive contribution to society during the gravest of times.   Being able to see family and my dearest friends on the regular kept me grounded and productive. My core friendships deepened exponentially.  Without the distraction of long commutes, wait staff and food, a secondary aspect of entertainment whether it was a class, a movie, shopping, an exhibit, a jazz performance...we had time and foc
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Confessions of a Monster

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The following piece was written for last night's ONYX Pearls NY-NE's February 2021 Event—Confessions of Love & Lust: Spoken Word & Cigar Social. My first public reading... ") Thank you to my Leather Sisters and Siblings for the chance to share my words and to everyone who attended as well as ALL the love and finger snaps for my piece!!! ~DominaKat Another long winter’s night has consumed the city, and the cold has seeped well into its pores. A glance out the window of my five story walkup proves again that the once never dormant streets of New York are abandoned. No souls dare the bitter walk or the lonely drive at this hour. With a sigh I roll over, and my nude flesh snuggles deeper into my warm nest of dark linen sheets and soft blankets. Only the strange unbroken silence of a pandemic-gripped world and haunting memories of long ago passion attempt to lull me to dreams. Despite exhaustion nagging my soul, sleep refuses to come. Maybe...if I confess...mayb
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What to Do with Our Kinky Selves BESIDES Masturbate???

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Holy shit! The calendar is clear, the fridge is stocked with a whole lot of crap you don't really want to cook, there's a stack of toilet paper in the linen closet, and binge watching NetFlix is starting to get on your nerves.  WTF do we DO with our Kinky Selves???  Do you masturbate AGAIN?!?  ~sigh~ Damn...no buzz.  If you have a few minutes to kill while your favorite device builds a charge... Listen to some kinky podcasts like: KinkyCast or Off the Cuffs or Touch of Flavor Discover some new music!  Might I suggest checking out... Jazz | Charles Mingus (personal fav - "Moanin'", Thelonious Monk (fav - "Don't Blame Me", or if you need something modern...Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah  African Beats | Thutmose - Ride with Me or WuWu,  Ajebutter22 - Ghana Bounce or Yawa,  Joey B - La Familia or No Waste Time Checkout some lifestyle-related videos (No...I don't mean porn!) Leather Leadership Conference | Classes, Panels, Keynotes from pre
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2020 Reading List v1

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A lioness' hunger takes many forms.  Her mind needs to be fed often, well, and deeply.  A sated intellect is key to her tranquility and satisfaction.  ( Also s ee Bitch, Can You Just Get in a Damn Box?!? ) Suggestions/recommendations always appreciated.  Of course NYC's D/s Book Club will no doubt help feed my Lioness. ~DominaKat ~~~Finish the Following~~~ Master/slave Mastery - Update Handbook of Concepts, Approaches, and Practices by Robert J. Rubel Ph. D. Sacred Power: Holy Surrender Edited by Raven Kaldera Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers  by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny Ties That Bind by Guy Baldwin M.S. The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy ~~~New~~~ Real Service by Raven Kaldara & Joshua Tenpenny Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara The New Bottoming Book  by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison Tears We Cannot Stop  by Michael Eric Dyson Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vo
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#NoDickShaming

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June/Pride Event Drop is a THING!

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It's the second week of July, and if you're dragging a bit or just a little down (ESPECIALLY you TES Fest attendees), you aren't alone.  You're not crazy.  July's event drop feeling is a THING! This is my third year actively in the local scene, and I've finally put it together.  Even if you didn't do any of the HUGE events (Folsom Street East, the Balls/Special Parties/etc, Pride Parade, TES Fest) in the last five weeks or aren't LGBTQA, the month of June naturally just is amped up for Pride Month.  Almost every class, meeting, group is at a minimum adds just a little bit more, and there were likely a ton of special events cramming your calendar to celebrate with friends. The very energy of NYC shifts!  June is essentially kinky holiday month like December is in the vanilla world.  There's more love in the streets, the subways, the billboards, the air!!!  The city is literally painted with rainbows.  It is truly beautiful and energizing. Now th
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The Blessing of Folsom

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Two years ago, I wandered into my first Folsom Street East with no idea what to expect.  I'd heard rave reviews of the street festival at some of my first few TES classes, so on a hot, humid, early summer day I found myself on a single closed off block in NYC surrounded by much phenomenal pride and an outstanding display of stunning drag queens, hunky gay men in next to nothing, and a more back hair than I ever wanted to see.  LOL  (Keeping it real real here folks!) I walked by vendors and organizations and food carts, young people and old, the dressed and nearly undressed, men, women, and gender fluid, leather and uniquely their own, and then took my very overheated (suffered heat exhaustion a few weeks before) ass home, grateful to have gone and to have felt the beautiful energy.  However, other than awareness I remained relatively unchanged by the event.  I had felt the joy and love around me, but being still new to the local kink scene and a straight, white, female...well m
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A Fearless Masochist

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Continuing to ponder my masochist and discovering little kernels of Truth... I don’t have fear. At least not any more. When the shit I once coped with on a daily basis was so vicious, nasty, and evil that I could barely even speak of it, it’s difficult to be afraid of the Pain a trusted partner might deliver in the context of a BDSM scene. Probably naive of me, I know.  There are many talented Sadists out there.  Maybe it would be better if I said...I don’t have fear YET. But still...I'm not sure there could be a "YET." A few things that have tumbled around my head as I've considered how fear might exist for my masochist... I don’t have phobias to play off and exacerbate. My response to sudden fear tends to be anger and swift violence, so maybe we really shouldn’t play in that pond.  I long ago trained myself to face and confront situational fear.  "Fuck it...let's roll/do this."  Having spent years on the South Side of the Yo makes most
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I Belong

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It's late.  My ass should be in bed snoring, yet I find myself too wired to cozy up in my nest.  Tonight feels like an unexpected milestone for myself.  Out of the blue I was asked to join a community event as a panelist.  I was flattered of course, but quite cognizant that while I've been involved in the lifestyle for about nine years now and have been thoughtful and introspective of my journey, I'm not what anyone would consider some wildly experienced kinkster who's spent every weekend doing more and more intense kinkiness. No, surprise...surprise...I haven't run around jumping on every type of ride available in Kink-Topia.  I don't chase the dragon. That isn't the important part of the journey for me.  What is important for me is that I find meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in what it is that I do.  In that...I am a serious participant.  Every day I seek to take another step in my journey of self-discovery within the lifestyle. Throughout the last
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Kinky Cranky Elitists, Teenage Newbies, & Kink-topia

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~sigh~  After seeing several new people feel like they are LESS than after reading some arrogant assholian the lifestyle is going to hell in a handbasket rants... Dear Captain Kinky Cranky Pants (encompassing all genders) ~ Yes, Fet sucks. It's always sucked. It just didn't suck as much when it was NEW to you and me.  Since I joined in 2010, I’ve absolutely seen a difference as well, but I'm pretty sure much of that perspective is due to how much MORE educated I am and how much FURTHER along in my own journey I am.  Putting some check marks next to your kinky bucket list makes climbing the Everest of Kink seem achievable.  Just because you have your climbing gear and you've done two dozen other climbs doesn't mean you should scuff at the ones just getting their first pair of hiking boots. Yes, the amount of fluffy - first things many of us check off the list - can be significant.  One of the first steps of courage in the lifestyle tends to be showing some
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A Little Humor for My Kinster Friends...

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So before I call it a night... The top of my left foot has been KILLING me the last few days. I thought maybe someone had stepped on it last week when I accidentally ended up in a spontaneous NYC subway escalator mosh pit, which happens whenever some idiot doesn’t get out of the way at the end of the escalator. If this has never happened to you, it’s a total cluster fuck, especially during NYC rush hour when dozens if not a hundred people are directly in a line behind you getting dumped into the mosh.   *Ugly way to start the morning, trust me.* No bruise though. Just incredible persistent pain, and that’s the only incident that I could think of. In the tangle of arms and legs and yelling and pisstivity I could have easily missed getting stepped on in the moment. ~shrug~ ..... *(This gets better.  I promise.)* Just now. On a Wednesday night. In an effort to quell the noise in my head...frustration and sadness over dumb shit, I decided to get myself off. Kwesi is in a Man Meetin
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