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Showing posts with the label Service Boundaries

The Edge of His Darkness

It’s 3am. I should be unconscious, earning another two or three face creases from sleeping soundly on His t-shirt, but in the shadows and silence and blessed fuckin stillness, I selfishly steal the time from my pile of obligations to travel back to our last night, our last morning, and just savor the memories.  Words, images, moments flicker through my mind.  Until I settle there.  That.  I hit replay and replay and replay. Fuck. What He did to me….   What I can’t even bring myself to fuckin type.  Even here. No one has dared.  Except Him.  Except Him.  Except Him. Looking back, I see clearly the presence I had felt.  It was there.  In the look carved on His face.  The edge of a Darkness that He holds tightly at bay had come to watch me.  Somehow... after so long... I had caught His interest again.   I met His gaze without fear, and His vicious response was absolute. There was no warning.   No preparing me to take what was to come.   He. Gave. Me. No. Choice.   And in the quiet deep o

Laundry Service Revelations

Shit. I folded his clothes. I’m not joking. I got within two feet of that soft warm heap of pants, shirts, tees, briefs, and socks, and my hands instinctively dove in like I’d done this for him a thousand times before.  Zero hesitation.  I paused briefly in shaking out a shirt to ask a quick question on preference and kept right on serving...In sheer fuckin bliss. SMH. Context...I haven’t folded a man’s clothes in over seven years. Hell, I don’t even fold my own clothes.  NYC's relationship with laundry is a bit different than most of this country's.  Between no in-apartment appliances and a sucky commute that eats an entire functional day a week, it’s NYC drop off service for me, please and thank you.  However, it's more than just practicalities responsible for the seven year hiatus, and there is a significance within my simple actions that I can’t ignore. Truth | I essentially have a long-established hard limit: Unless there is an emergency, urgent need, or serious il

Reflection & a New Path

SPLF 23 represented a abrupt shift in my journey.  I wasn't prepared to be seen, to be acknowledged in the sea of humanity, to be wrapped in tight hugs. let alone be fiercely protected and held firmly side-by-side.  I was both deeply humbled and profoundly honored.  Many times. Those five days in Dallas moved me and pushed me on another new path of transformation. After years of pandemic coping that focused only on areas in my life I could evolve, I remembered I had a heart. And...After years of watching how individuals moved/did not move, stood/did not stand, built/attempted to destroy, were 100% authentic/fakers of funk, driven by idealistic goals/greedy self-promotion, I realized I needed fucking space to breathe. Since the Spring, I've been reevaluating how I move, what I give, when I should engage, where I need to be, and who I directly or indirectly offer my co-signature.  I've taken many healthy steps to create a more positive environment for myself and connected in

CLASS WRITE UP | Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore

Title  |  Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore ~a part of the 9 Service Languages curriculum~ Format  | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck, Menti Polling & Group Discussion Duration  | ~ 90m Target Audience  | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced in Service-Oriented Roles little & BIG Letters anyone in service to a partner, relationship, House, organization, event, or the Community at Large Description  | Service—a cornerstone for many who practice Authority Transfer or engage with the Community—is treated almost as social currency within the Lifestyle or even the tithe we offer our beliefs.  However, while we fully support, embrace, and champion S&M Boundaries, little is ever even whispered about Service Boundaries.  This silence is a detriment to the individuals involved as well as to the overall Community.  Most of us can name at least one person who has sacrificed too much in the name of service and face