Posts

Showing posts from August, 2018

In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

The Schizophrenic Writer & The Bellagio Fountain

Image
Shit.  I'm trapped in a writing hall of mirrors.  I must have 20 pieces actively in the hopper that is my brain.  Different topics.  Different vibes.  Just tumbling around and around and around in schizophrenic state of slow motion chaos.  I get a few sentences down, maybe a paragraph or two if I'm lucky, but I can't seem to pull hard enough on a single thread to unravel it the way I need to bring it to fruition. ~sigh~  If I rip the bullshit off, this is a complete reflection of my current state in the lifestyle.  I flitter along the surface but never dive deep the way I like.  The way I fucking need.  My sexuality and various kinks...I can't quite reach them mentally, emotionally, even physically.  I hate this...apathy in me.  It seeps into every layer of my world, even my words. The only time I can focus is that moment when Kwesi's hand grips the back of my neck.  A light touch.  A firm grip.  It doesn't matter.  Every damn thing in me skitters to a fu

Baby...Baabay...BAAABAAY!

Image
I 'll always think of you Inside of my private thoughts I can imagine you Touching my private parts With just the thought of you I can't help but touch myself That's why I want you so bad Just one night of Moonlight with you there beside me All night doin' it again and again You know I want you so bad Baby baby baby baby (baby baby baby baby) Oh I get so high When I'm around you baby I can touch the sky You make my temperature rise You're makin' me high Oh baby baby baby baby Can't get my mind off you I think I might be obsessed The very thought of you Makes me want to get undressed I want to be with you In spite of what my heart says I guess I want you too bad All I want is Moonlight with you there beside me All night doin' it again and again You know I want you so bad Baby baby baby (baby baby baby baby) Oh I get so high When I'm around you baby I can touch the sky You make my temperature rise You're makin' me high Oh (baby baby baby