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Showing posts with the label Poly

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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Kink/BDSM/Leather Books & Resources

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POLY | Is Poly's Growing Popularity a Product of Women's Equality?

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Gotta love NYC Munches.  The conversation is damn near ALWAYS intriguing.  Rarely does it dwelling in the arena of mundate chit chat.  A few of us were discussing the idea that poly will become the next groundbreaking cultural norm now that LGBTQ has made so much progress.   By no means am I implying that the fight for LGBTQ rights has been fully won.  However, for a majority of the Millennial and Gen Z generation non-hetero sexuality is way more acceptable than it was when I was in my twenties. For these younger generations who are putting off traditional family structures of marriage and children, we were thinking that they may be the ones to usher in more cultural acceptance of poly dynamics.  With that and some of the discussion points our group had mentioned about the unspoken historical acceptance of non-monogamy, especially for men, I began to wonder how much of a relationship exists between cultural acceptance and practice of poly relationships and women's growing equali
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Poly: A Relationship in a Box?

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This is a follow up to my previous post:   The Debate of Poly Goals . *** Disclaimers and Clarifications Up Front *** No, I don't at ALL believe poly is done one way.  Nothing in the realm of kinky relationships is ever done in one uniform way.  I also understand that not every poly situation has a hierarchy, but many do, especially in my peer group.  It's my reality, and I need to find the best strategies for me.  (There's the door if that doesn't sit well with you.)  I sincerely seek others' examples and insights.   With knowledge and understanding, I hope to make informed decisions/choices.  I often feel as if I'm lacking the right words to communicate well or that I have a practical vision on what is possible or not possible.  With continued conversations I hope to change that.  Now...on with the mayhem and mischief.  ") Based on various sessions of recent feedback, I continue to get the distinct impression that in  GENERAL  non-nesting poly-dynami
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The Debate of Poly Goals

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I posted a list of  my poly questions  back in January, and since then I've been on a quest to determine my answers.  My ears are always on alert for conversation that may shed light for me.  Occasionally, I get lucky. Last week, I found myself in a great discussion with an amazing group of poly folks regarding the challenges of managing vanilla lives as well as defining goals of poly dynamics.  However, I did NOT do a fantastic job of articulating my questions about the goals.  Since then I've tried to better navigate through the ball of yarn in my head to find the right strings to pull. My original goal-centric questions... Do poly relationship goals differ than monogamous ones?  How far can a relationship progress when there isn't "traditional" milestones (AKA The Relationship Escalator: a drawer, the key swap, living together, engagement, marriage, buy a house, etc.) available due to practical poly situations (marriage/kids/vanilla life/legal boundaries)
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An Exercise: My Loves & Hates of Poly

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I love open and honest. I hate when poly is only a game designed to keep control of Him. I love to add to an existing equation and help build a healthy ecosystem of love and support. I hate when I'm treated as a temporary inconvenience that must be slowly manipulated out of the picture from the behind His back. I love the shared responsibility of loving someone because I understand I can't be everything. I hate when my service to the greater equation is dismissed, ignored as irrelevant, or even resented. I love to witness the broader beauty of others' love. I hate when all I'm granted are the leftover scraps of His life. I love to learn and be inspired by the relationships of others. I hate when my dynamic is deemed as meaningless and my role easily replaceable with someone else. I love the belief that more love is beautiful and welcome. I hate when instead of active feeding of our relationship others rely on my loyalty to hold me. I absolutely love to
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Poly Question List: My Search for Answers & Understanding

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Metamours & Me

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I can't tell you how many posts have been in my feed or discussions have happened around me about metamours the last week.  Maybe it's time I laid out my own thoughts... Dear Men~ Hi, before we begin, let’s have a quick, very frank conversation. Whether you just want to be friends or you’re interested in casual play or if you’re hoping for something serious and long term with me, look around you and be very very honest with yourself about your situation. If your woman/women is/are insecure in ANY way, please keep it moving. I am 46 years old, and I have had my FILL of insecure women.  Not once in my life have I ever had a positive experience with any of my metamours or even the wife/lover/girlfriend of other males I've been friends with or connected to at one point or another.  Seriously. I’m not joking.  Look behind me…in the shadows…there…there…there, back there. Yeah…crazy, isn’t it? There’s literally probably a good dozen angry, bitter, frumpy, grouchy wart
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