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Showing posts with the label Sadism

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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The Edge of His Darkness

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It’s 3am. I should be unconscious, earning another two or three face creases from sleeping soundly on His t-shirt, but in the shadows and silence and blessed fuckin stillness, I selfishly steal the time from my pile of obligations to travel back to our last night, our last morning, and just savor the memories.  Words, images, moments flicker through my mind.  Until I settle there.  That.  I hit replay and replay and replay. Fuck. What He did to me….   What I can’t even bring myself to fuckin type.  Even here. No one has dared.  Except Him.  Except Him.  Except Him. Looking back, I see clearly the presence I had felt.  It was there.  In the look carved on His face.  The edge of a Darkness that He holds tightly at bay had come to watch me.  Somehow... after so long... I had caught His interest again.   I met His gaze without fear, and His vicious response was absolute. There was no warning.   No preparing me to take what was to come.   He. Gave. Me. No. Choice.   And in the quiet deep o
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At The Mercy of His Hands

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It’s been two fucking days, yet my cunt still weeps for Him as if His dripping fingers had only just stopped sinking into my hot, juicy, greedy, clenching hole.  Hasn't mattered where I have been or what I have been doing.  Work, writing, waiting too long for a damn bus that never arrived, nibbling at food, catching up with my Board, commuting through the city via my feet, trains, and cabs, I have just been...soaked for the last 48+ hours.   I was wet before my Uber had even crossed Whitestone from the Bronx in my cross-borough pilgrimage.  As the twinkle of Manhattan's skyline beckoned in the distance, my disorganized mind and unexpectedly chaotic nerves froze in recognition of that solitary truth my slick thighs spoke of.  My body was already reaching for Him—had already completely surrendered—despite the illogic, the lack of plans, the absence of sexy anticipatory promises.  My body knew something my mind didn't, a trend that has continued to intensify and shows no sign
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DominaKat's Lifestyle Classes I What I Teach & Bio

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Updated | 05.20.23 CLASS LIST The 12 Goals of S&M: Foundations for Scenecrafting | Class Write Up Fail Fast, Fail Often, Fail Forward: Normalizing (the Reality of) Failure as a Part of Growth in the Lifestyle | Class Write Up - Coming Soon! Note | Session can be tailored toward a focus of BDSM, Authority Transfer, or Leather Community if desired. The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Intro - 90m or Intensive - 3hrs | Class Write Up Day Workshop - 6 hrs | Includes additional guided self-reflection, group discussions, & self-assessment workbook Know Your Service Boundaries: Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore (for BOTH sides of the /) | Class Write Up The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Series Session 1 | The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey for Marginalized Communities within Kink & Leather | Class Write Up Session 2 | Ally~Advocate~Warrior Tactics for Individuals, Organizers, and Groups in Leather & Kink | Class Write Up Follow On/Up |
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A Friend Date with a Sadist

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Post-pandemic, my masochist has been a shadow in the recesses of my soul.  Like other pieces of me, she has been turned off...disconnected...off-fuckin-line.  The most delightful aspects of my journey had been abandoned to the weight of social chaos, service commitments, and dearth of male Dominant energy.  But here I was eagerly getting in a truck with my favorite creative Sadist—where there would be no exit and little room to maneuver.  My anxiety started well before that first hug.  I had no idea how I would cope with or process any bits of his Sadism in my masochist's absence.  Knowing the pain would come at some point felt like standing on a high dive about to jump into an ice cold pool on a hot humid day.  You look down a little disoriented, wondering how the hell you got up there, dreading how much it's gonna suck but hoping like crazy it will refresh your mind, body, and spirit. It so sucked. lol He graciously gave me a few miles that we filled with non-stop chatter bef
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Kink/BDSM/Leather Books & Resources

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Confessions of a Monster

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The following piece was written for last night's ONYX Pearls NY-NE's February 2021 Event—Confessions of Love & Lust: Spoken Word & Cigar Social. My first public reading... ") Thank you to my Leather Sisters and Siblings for the chance to share my words and to everyone who attended as well as ALL the love and finger snaps for my piece!!! ~DominaKat Another long winter’s night has consumed the city, and the cold has seeped well into its pores. A glance out the window of my five story walkup proves again that the once never dormant streets of New York are abandoned. No souls dare the bitter walk or the lonely drive at this hour. With a sigh I roll over, and my nude flesh snuggles deeper into my warm nest of dark linen sheets and soft blankets. Only the strange unbroken silence of a pandemic-gripped world and haunting memories of long ago passion attempt to lull me to dreams. Despite exhaustion nagging my soul, sleep refuses to come. Maybe...if I confess...mayb
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Kat 501 – What I Can Give | Updated

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I am an insatiable Lover in your life. If You can pique my interests and challenge me. I could be the strong Woman by Your side. If You are a strong, beautiful Man and make the effort to see all I am. I could be Your sweet, wicked Domina on Your arm. If You are a Sir that deserves and respects a classy lady. I could the alfred of Your dreams. If You are a Superhero of Integrity and have Goals I can believe in. I would be Your vicious Warrior ever at Your back. If You prove worthy of my sincerest respect. I could be Your ever-hungry Masochist crumpled at Your feet. If Your greedy Sadist deliciously feasts on my pain and fucks my mind. I would be Your committed, monogamous Partner in life. If You are honest, careful, considerate, and love true. I could be your wild primal prey in your sights. If You are a Dark Beast who can shelve His ego and dance with my defiance. I would be Your nasty, fucking Whore in Your arms. If You stroke my hedonistic twisted desires and che
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My Masochist's Dance with Pain

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On our first solo date, Pain took me dancing. A quiet airy space filled with sunshine and a spring breeze, far away from any spotlight or New York City crowds.   Just us. To dance.   Converse.   Whisper and shout.   To get to know one another. And share secrets only Pain can tease from a willing body. From His first touch to His last, He left me breathless.   In the beginning moments, I thought too much.  Not about what might be.  I was confident in our negotiations and our talented facilitator.   Silly thoughts... About what I might be expected to say.   About my semi-conservative appearance.   About my steps.   Would I know the steps?   Too objective thinking thoughts... His approach to warm up... The technique of the throw... Placement of... Then I gave in.   Pain left me no choice.   To the music.   To Pain's kaleidoscope of demands and nuances.   I lost track of the tools that tasted my near virgin flesh a
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Where is Your Energy Source? | Sado-centric, Maso-centric, Partner-centric, Self-Centric

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A couple years ago I attended an absolutely great class, Masco-curious?  It was my third local kink event in the city, and it added MUCH to my personal thought arsenal on S&M.  This small, casual, humble class led by two very different masochists opened about a half dozen doorways for me and was instrumental in putting me on the path that has led to my today.  (I seriously can't thank them enough!)  Despite doing lifestyle shit and being on Fet for the previous seven years, my "education" had truly been limited, based primarily on whatever my partners during that time were comfortable with or various anecdotal writings rather than a study of the craft. ~~~ IMPORTANT SIDEBAR ~~~ Yes!  I said CRAFT!  What we do is a CRAFT, and in order to MASTER the CRAFT of S&M you need to study, study, practice, practice, and do more of both almost infinitely!  No...ya don't get good at this shit by buying equipment at the mainstream "spice up your sex life" store
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To Play with My Pain

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My Masochist v3.1 At last month's S&M Discussion Group, we discussed the varying goals of play.[https://fetlife.com/users/9560269/posts/5635688]. Common Goals for BOTH S- and M-types: Introduction/Exploratory | to introduce a new type of play/instrument Pleasure | to experience some form of pleasure (including sensual/erotic) Escape | to forget the world and concentrate only on the moment Service | to provide pleasure/service to others (emphasis is on the partner’s experience) Maintenance | to maintain balance, emotional/mental space, practice D/s Reinforcement | to reinforce D/s roles and dynamics Feed the Monster | to provide yourself opportunity to be yourself/let your monster play Catharsis | to release emotional/mental/physical negative energy Ordeal | to deliver/endure/conquer a trial Competitive/Primal | to combat as a fundamental part of play often in primal personas. Punishment/Discipline | to give/receive corrective action for a misdeed by the
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A Good Boy - Part I

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He stood before her sitting frame with his hands behind his back and waited. The temperature controlled room suddenly felt a little warm, and he wished he could shed his t-shirt and jeans. His toes wiggled against the cool hardwood floor and took in the Alpha Female before him.  The contrast between the white chair and her hourglass curves covered in black both excited him and made him uncomfortable. Nerves and excitement jumbled together in an indistinguishable sensation through his body as her eyes traveled down his tall frame. She raised her crop slowly to drag along his zipper. "Leave your pants buttoned, but take your dick out. I want to watch your reactions." She punctuated her demand with a firm slap to his thigh. He reached for his zipper only for the crop to slap at his hand.  He stilled unsure of himself. "What do you say first, boy?" Some unfamiliar feeling joined the tangle of nerves and excitement. He cleared his throat as he felt his face flu
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Introducing: S&M.NYC

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Well...I've gone and done it, with some great help of course!  ~HAT TIP~  I've been itching for the last year for more on S&M.  By more, I mean beyond the usual basic demo class that pops up every once and a while.  I've been hungry for meaty discussions about the in's, out's, approaches, tactics, thought process, etc.  Living in your own bubble is NEVER good.  We all need diverse thoughts and opinions to keep our minds engaged and kink creative, soooo... I've started an S&M Discussion Group in NYC.  My goal:  Create a safe, sane, fun space for S&M discussion.  That's it.  I am by no means an expert on ANY of this shit.  I've got no ego in this.  No political agenda.  I just love to learn and grow and discuss WIITWD and wanted to give back a little to the community that's given me so much. If you're interested in S&M, please join me and BlackMusic (your meeting hosts) on the first Monday of every month for what we hope will be
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A Fearless Masochist

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Continuing to ponder my masochist and discovering little kernels of Truth... I don’t have fear. At least not any more. When the shit I once coped with on a daily basis was so vicious, nasty, and evil that I could barely even speak of it, it’s difficult to be afraid of the Pain a trusted partner might deliver in the context of a BDSM scene. Probably naive of me, I know.  There are many talented Sadists out there.  Maybe it would be better if I said...I don’t have fear YET. But still...I'm not sure there could be a "YET." A few things that have tumbled around my head as I've considered how fear might exist for my masochist... I don’t have phobias to play off and exacerbate. My response to sudden fear tends to be anger and swift violence, so maybe we really shouldn’t play in that pond.  I long ago trained myself to face and confront situational fear.  "Fuck it...let's roll/do this."  Having spent years on the South Side of the Yo makes most
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Embrace Failure to Thrive

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Damn near every community in the last year has had some sort of drama at their doorstep.  Rightfully, we ALL NEED to understand consent backwards and forwards, protect each others' privacy, and be on guard for asshole abusers.  Responsible kinksters go to classes, read up on best practices, spend long hours considering.  All good things.  We all should be thoughtful in our interactions with each other. If you're anything like me, the drama as well as all this thought and consideration has also created some anxiety.  Most of us are intent on “doing things right” - not just as it relates to consent but in play.  No D/Top-type wants to cause physical, mental, or emotional damage, and no s/bottom-type wants to be on the receiving end of damage.  We all want to have a fabulous time every time we indulge in our kinky lifestyle. Guess what?  That's unfucking realistic.  And we NEED to talk about it. An impossible expectation of perfection in a scene/play currently exist
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My Masochist's Betrayal

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There in the too well lit room where I couldn't hide, He rained down Pain.  It's what I wanted.  I am a masochist after all.  I escaped the world at large until only three elements remained: Him, my body, and Pain. The music faded.  The Sadistic sounds of the other couples crammed near us disappeared.  The voyeurs became an indistinguishable blur.  And my pride...my pride was nowhere to be fucking found. I was grateful for every damn bit He gave me.  I greedily drank up His violence, lapping at it like a dog on a hot August day.  I never got to safeword stage.  It was never too much.  I wanted...no...needed to suffer.  Maybe I needed it too damn much.  Lap, lap, lap...I lapped it up, searching for the usual sweetness only to find a dusty bitter tang. Every smack of His palm, crack of the crop, slap of the flogger exploded across my skin and within the landscape of my mind like a chaotic bomb.  I was neither tranquil or calm or peaceful or serene.  I moaned, whimpered, sho
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What You Have Found

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Yes, Sir. You have finally found that woman who You can drape in Your beautiful Rope. I will be still and patient as You tie and knot and wrap my flesh to bind me to Your soul. Please...Adorn me with your sacred. Yes, Sir. You have finally found that giving submissive who will be honest, loyal, and true. I will serve and obey You as best as I am able with my body, my mind, and my heart. Please...Show me how to please You. Yes, Sir. You have finally found that willing eager masochist to unleash that beautiful Darkness You hide from the world. I will soak up every drop of your cruel intentions. Please...Give me the Pain You long to set free. Yes, Sir. You have also found a lady who can share with You fine spirits, bask in the complicated melodies of jazz, and make You proud to have next to You. I will cherish every moment big and small that we find to share. Please...Let’s explore the wonders and flavors of the city...of the world. Yes, Sir. You have found that ethical insatiable whor
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In Trouble - Part I

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I’m in trouble. He hides His Beast and His passion behind so many layers...politeness, smooth grace, perfect manners, easy conversation, generosity, kindness, patience.  Too often I forget the Darkness that lies dormant and hungry in the lair of His soul.  I forget and...underestimate. Fifteen hours later, on a train surrounded by obnoxious suburban millennials seeking city thrills, I can barely look back at what He did to me.  My soul trembles.  I fight the tsunami of tears I couldn’t unleash last night, I clamp down against a spontaneous gut wrenching orgasm that threatens to burst between my legs, and I swallow a primal scream I can’t quite name the source of. All I know is...He fucked me up last night. I walked in a calm, relaxed, confident lioness.  In well under twenty seconds, He made me nothing more than His bitch and proceeded to drag me through the gutter of my soul. No one has ever taken me so deep.  He seemed to do it effortlessly. I'd entered our room an
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