Posts

Showing posts with the label Relationships

In Tatters

-
I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
Post a Comment
Read more

The Co-Creation of a New Service Dialect | My Initial Steps

-
I am very slowly learning, attempting, exploring a new service dialect that I know little to nothing about. Most would think, "No big deal," especially for me.  I consistently reach for new information, ideas, points of view to add to my toolbox, especially in the lifestyle through classes, discussions, panels, cons, etc.  Those closest to me have graciously poured endless tanker trucks of knowledge, concepts, and skills into me over the years, fueling my Lifestyle Journey as well as my personal and professional paths.  I am curious as hell and don't hesitate to find ways to feed my often voracious mind.   But when a romantic interest who would RECEIVE said service is the One instructing and assessing my progress of GIVING service???  Oh...that shit is a completely new experience for me in addition to the subject matter.   There was, of course, the fresh breeze in my mind that always happens when opening up new pathways for growth, but I hadn't considered the nuances
Post a Comment
Read more

To Own Me | An Answer to My Critics

-
I'm too independent... I'm too intense... I'm too deep... To be on the right side of the slash? No problem.  Because I'm not – nor will I ever be – your fucking problem. I fully acknowledge that I am all the things my many critics have accused me of, and I apologize for none of it.  I can be nothing but my authentic self, and I refuse to restrain myself or be less, so others can be more comfortable with who I am or how I identify.  Fuck you for thinking I should.   I am a V12. The Man who chooses to Own me will be able to...        Race the shadows of the night.      Hug the curves life throws us like we're on rails.      Rocket us in any the direction He seeks. I am a Lioness. The Man who dares to Own me will have...      A fierce protector at His side.      An apex predator to hunt the world with Him.      A primal beast under Him to sate His wickedest desires.      A loyal companion to curl contentedly at His feet. I am a Force of Nature. The Man who takes Contro
Post a Comment
Read more

Kink/BDSM/Leather Books & Resources

-
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
Post a Comment
Read more

HARD LIMIT | I am NOT Y/your Shame

-
I've churned off and on with this post for years as the issue has cropped up numerous times since I entered the lifestyle a dozen years ago.  It's a topic I rarely see tackled.  To be upfront, I'd love any additional insights, perspective, shared experiences, and potential solutions here...      We talk a lot about consent in this community.  Those clear negotiations before play or a relationship to established each partner's boundaries, limits, desires, and needs work out great when you're talking about overt actions/inactions. "I love flogging.  I'm open to knife play, but needles are a hard limit for me." Easy-peasy...but what about the messy, unconscious, emotional garbage most carry around?  How often are we intentionally negotiating those landmines upfront?  The few instances I've heard discussed tend to be either in the context of M/s or Owner/property User Manuals or Pro-Domme negotiations, a small portion of the community. ~record scratch
Post a Comment
Read more

Kat 501 – What I Can Give | Updated

-
I am an insatiable Lover in your life. If You can pique my interests and challenge me. I could be the strong Woman by Your side. If You are a strong, beautiful Man and make the effort to see all I am. I could be Your sweet, wicked Domina on Your arm. If You are a Sir that deserves and respects a classy lady. I could the alfred of Your dreams. If You are a Superhero of Integrity and have Goals I can believe in. I would be Your vicious Warrior ever at Your back. If You prove worthy of my sincerest respect. I could be Your ever-hungry Masochist crumpled at Your feet. If Your greedy Sadist deliciously feasts on my pain and fucks my mind. I would be Your committed, monogamous Partner in life. If You are honest, careful, considerate, and love true. I could be your wild primal prey in your sights. If You are a Dark Beast who can shelve His ego and dance with my defiance. I would be Your nasty, fucking Whore in Your arms. If You stroke my hedonistic twisted desires and che
Post a Comment
Read more

My Failure to Embrace Basic M/s Tradition | The Rebellious Non-Petitioning slave/property

-
The Tradition that a slave/property/s-type should/must formally petition any potential Master to be His slave is like a shard of glass in my Leather boot. No matter how many ways I look at it...the concept rips to shreds the fundamental foundation of imbalance that M/s dynamics demand. There...I've said it.  Written it.  In fucking bold font, thank you very much.  I've held back making public my very non-traditional view for over three years.  I had hoped in vain that at some point I would read, hear, SEE the wisdom and logic behind an s-initiated approach to beginning an M/s relationship.  Despite numerous books, classes, and discussions, I've yet to find an answer.  In fact the more I learn, the firmer my rejection of the "s-types should petition to serve" Tradition becomes. My issue boils down to one very clear point.  If the slave/property-type is the one who has to research an M-type to discover if there might be a good fit and then petition the M wit
Post a Comment
Read more

Calm the Lioness

-
I didn't kink last night.  Despite two of my favorite presenters and a topic I'm still curious to explore, I looked at the NYC skyline, the cramped streets, and the endless rain, and I chose the uptown track to carry my home. I didn't kink tonight.  Too leary of wacky icky energy of strange ones, couples with their own focused agenda, and Times Square on a hot sticky night, I avoided another preferred event.  I just didn't have it in me to sift through chaos to find positive crumbs, so I met a friend and talked 1:1 kink for two hours. My choices weren't born of a need to preserve my strength.  I'm almost vibrating with the need to move, an echo of my pacing lioness. My choices were about a need to shield myself from unnecessary aggravation, and if you've never hit Times Square between 5 and 6 pm or spent a rainy evening on New York City streets, at best it can be one hassle after another as everyone fights to avoid the misery of a wet, humid, icky rush
Post a Comment
Read more

My Terrible Friendship

-
I am a terrible friend. I am. At least by the status quo norms that social media has insidiously enabled society to embrace the last decade or so with their much sought after and longed for "likes" and "loves."  Though I can't blame it entirely on social media.  After all, look at cheeto-man.  He was an assholian narrcisist well before the rise of Facebook, Twitter and their enablement of surface-level one-sided mass approval, and he'd spent a lifetime surrounding himself with people who would go his way.  Unfortunately for my friends, I'm not a yes-man or more accurately a "yes-woman" as my pussy wielding self identifies as. That makes friendship with me sometimes difficult and complicated and even ego bruising. I'm not the cheerleader to rah-rah your anger blindly to "have your back."  You won't hear me blithely shout out a "Oh yeah girl!  Fuck him."  I need to see clearly where he wronged you before I get
Post a Comment
Read more

POLY | Is Poly's Growing Popularity a Product of Women's Equality?

-
Gotta love NYC Munches.  The conversation is damn near ALWAYS intriguing.  Rarely does it dwelling in the arena of mundate chit chat.  A few of us were discussing the idea that poly will become the next groundbreaking cultural norm now that LGBTQ has made so much progress.   By no means am I implying that the fight for LGBTQ rights has been fully won.  However, for a majority of the Millennial and Gen Z generation non-hetero sexuality is way more acceptable than it was when I was in my twenties. For these younger generations who are putting off traditional family structures of marriage and children, we were thinking that they may be the ones to usher in more cultural acceptance of poly dynamics.  With that and some of the discussion points our group had mentioned about the unspoken historical acceptance of non-monogamy, especially for men, I began to wonder how much of a relationship exists between cultural acceptance and practice of poly relationships and women's growing equali
Post a Comment
Read more

Poly: A Relationship in a Box?

-
This is a follow up to my previous post:   The Debate of Poly Goals . *** Disclaimers and Clarifications Up Front *** No, I don't at ALL believe poly is done one way.  Nothing in the realm of kinky relationships is ever done in one uniform way.  I also understand that not every poly situation has a hierarchy, but many do, especially in my peer group.  It's my reality, and I need to find the best strategies for me.  (There's the door if that doesn't sit well with you.)  I sincerely seek others' examples and insights.   With knowledge and understanding, I hope to make informed decisions/choices.  I often feel as if I'm lacking the right words to communicate well or that I have a practical vision on what is possible or not possible.  With continued conversations I hope to change that.  Now...on with the mayhem and mischief.  ") Based on various sessions of recent feedback, I continue to get the distinct impression that in  GENERAL  non-nesting poly-dynami
Post a Comment
Read more

Poly Question List: My Search for Answers & Understanding

-
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
Post a Comment
Read more

Metamours & Me

-
I can't tell you how many posts have been in my feed or discussions have happened around me about metamours the last week.  Maybe it's time I laid out my own thoughts... Dear Men~ Hi, before we begin, let’s have a quick, very frank conversation. Whether you just want to be friends or you’re interested in casual play or if you’re hoping for something serious and long term with me, look around you and be very very honest with yourself about your situation. If your woman/women is/are insecure in ANY way, please keep it moving. I am 46 years old, and I have had my FILL of insecure women.  Not once in my life have I ever had a positive experience with any of my metamours or even the wife/lover/girlfriend of other males I've been friends with or connected to at one point or another.  Seriously. I’m not joking.  Look behind me…in the shadows…there…there…there, back there. Yeah…crazy, isn’t it? There’s literally probably a good dozen angry, bitter, frumpy, grouchy wart
Post a Comment
Read more

Thought Bubbles

-
Tumble.  Tumble.  Those thoughts.  On top and over one another.  Chaos and sanity.  Disconnected yet intertwined.  I find I have no desire to explain any of it - merely a need to acknowledge their presence and let them go. # # # # # In my long ago younger days of trial and error after a brutal breakup, I had an acquaintance - a booty call - a fine-ass guy, reasonably intelligent, no drama, good in bed.  Maybe not the most satisfying encounter(s) of my life by any means but easy and simple.  Now and then, we'd run into each other and take the edge off the harsh realities of the world for a few hours without the complication of all that a relationship entails.  There was no follow up phone calls.  No interference with his other relationships.  No hard feelings about time, distance, or other responsibilities.  He knew and respected all the unwritten booty call rules.   Until one night, he didn't.   "I keep thinking...maybe...you know...we could be more."  
Post a Comment
Read more