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Showing posts from March, 2020

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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My Inherent Search for Power Exchange

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I'm not going to bullshit.  The desire right now to be well and truly Owned by an M-type who is stronger, smarter, more capable than me is visceral. Don't get me wrong.  It isn't overwhelming or crippling.  I continue to stand fucking STRONG in the face of this tsunami that has flooded NYC.  I am blessedly still working, and as soon as my day is done I start the work/effort of supporting the community I love so much however I can. Of course throughout the day I also handle a myriad of tasks.  I stay informed as much as I can on the status of all the things by catching Cuomo's press conference, scrolling the news feeds, and reading the emergency notifications.  I dash out every few days for a super quick trip to the store to replenish essentials and to stretch my legs so used to eating up two miles of the concrete jungle a day.  Most of all, I virtually connect with friends and family in an endless warm loop of love, concern, compassion, and support.  I eat.  I exe
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What to Do with Our Kinky Selves BESIDES Masturbate???

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Holy shit! The calendar is clear, the fridge is stocked with a whole lot of crap you don't really want to cook, there's a stack of toilet paper in the linen closet, and binge watching NetFlix is starting to get on your nerves.  WTF do we DO with our Kinky Selves???  Do you masturbate AGAIN?!?  ~sigh~ Damn...no buzz.  If you have a few minutes to kill while your favorite device builds a charge... Listen to some kinky podcasts like: KinkyCast or Off the Cuffs or Touch of Flavor Discover some new music!  Might I suggest checking out... Jazz | Charles Mingus (personal fav - "Moanin'", Thelonious Monk (fav - "Don't Blame Me", or if you need something modern...Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah  African Beats | Thutmose - Ride with Me or WuWu,  Ajebutter22 - Ghana Bounce or Yawa,  Joey B - La Familia or No Waste Time Checkout some lifestyle-related videos (No...I don't mean porn!) Leather Leadership Conference | Classes, Panels, Keynotes from pre
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My Failure to Embrace Basic M/s Tradition | The Rebellious Non-Petitioning slave/property

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The Tradition that a slave/property/s-type should/must formally petition any potential Master to be His slave is like a shard of glass in my Leather boot. No matter how many ways I look at it...the concept rips to shreds the fundamental foundation of imbalance that M/s dynamics demand. There...I've said it.  Written it.  In fucking bold font, thank you very much.  I've held back making public my very non-traditional view for over three years.  I had hoped in vain that at some point I would read, hear, SEE the wisdom and logic behind an s-initiated approach to beginning an M/s relationship.  Despite numerous books, classes, and discussions, I've yet to find an answer.  In fact the more I learn, the firmer my rejection of the "s-types should petition to serve" Tradition becomes. My issue boils down to one very clear point.  If the slave/property-type is the one who has to research an M-type to discover if there might be a good fit and then petition the M wit
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