In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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What Will Be

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Without hesitation, He sweeps aside every challenge with a clear decisiveness I've rarely seen, and my Lioness purrs.

That Man knows what He wants.

He wants me.

I think it may have taken an hour - if that - for Him to decide.

No bullshit.  No needless games.  No coward.  He laid it out unequivocally.

I should say I was shocked or stunned or in awe, but I can't.  For reasons I can't explain only feel, instead all I can say is the rightness of Him and His decision simply settled into my bones.

Yes.
Him.
This.

I don't know if He knew or felt it, but that was my first act of submission.  My full acceptance that His decision was genuine.  There was no tug of doubt in my heart, mind, or body.  He wanted me.

Yet, understanding the complications of life and the impulsiveness of desire, the grown woman in me held steady to see what would be. Would this beautiful Lion disappear into the night once He boarded His train? Would He run when He understood how complicated the Lioness to be? Or would He hunt Her for His Own and show her the strength of an Alpha Male?

He hasn't disappeared. He damn sure didn't run.  In fact He stepped forward firmly toward me, and I in turn followed His lead.

Yes.
Him.
This.

So I wait. I watch. I feel.

To see what will be.

I let myself experience only what He desires to show me because I have no appetite for a mirage, silly dreams, or false promises. I seek only the truth of a Man and refuse to let myself run beyond what is in front of me. Every time I have...none could keep pace, so I've learned my lesson well. A Lion that chooses not to lead is not the One I need to try to follow.

This Lion hasn't left me standing still nor lost sight of His prey.

Yes.
Him.
This.

My gaze sharpens.
My respect grows.
My faith builds.

The rightness of it all continues to sink deeper and deeper...to the gate of my soul, and I wonder...just what this will be? 

Where will This Lion lead me?
~DominaKat

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