In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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Just Fucking More

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I step forward.

I no longer stand still and wait for the world to catch up with me. I don't look back trying to make yesterday something it wasn't. It was only what it was, and I learned my lessons well.

While much of me remains consistent throughout time, I am more today than I was then, then, then, or then. So much fucking more. Stronger, faster, kinder, softer, tougher, bigger, bolder, happier, sweeter, sexier, more confident, more powerful, more beautiful.

Just.
Fucking.
More. 

And tomorrow...I'll be even more yet.

I've been held back again and again for years by those that didn't want to make the most of what was in front of them. Fuck that. No more. Never again. I quit being less for fragile egos a while ago.

Now for the first time in my life I'm being fed a fucking feast and given the opportunity and freedom to fly high and proud. I have full support and encouragement in front of me, intentionally asking "What do you want?" and not just playing lip service but doing.

The return is hundred-fold. The more I am, the more I can give. Those in my Tribe today are the ones who benefit. Not those who preferred me broken in pieces or in pain.

I've left yesterday behind, and I ain't goin back. I've never gone back.
I embrace today with strength and fierce purpose.
And I fucking reach for tomorrow and my destiny with no shame, fear, or hesitation.

Now watch this lioness run and stay the fuck out of my way.
~DominaKat

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