Reverence of The Marks & Symbols of Ownership

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I spoke of Faith. Now…I’ll kneel to Reverence. Our first date. I stood calmly in His bedroom. Still. Waiting. A lioness’ instinctive understanding short-circuited my usual primal sexual aggression. I knew this man before I knew Him. Though desire and need raged through my veins, my lioness lowered her head in acquiescence to a Power she had known before time began and been searching for this entire lifetime. I waited. Utterly defenseless. To see how He would move. To see what He would want of me. To see which direction He would Lead us. He shifted behind me in the dim light. His first touch. A bold unmistakable Claim. With a deliberate slowness that seemed to last eternity, His fingers dug into my biceps as His teeth sank into my tender flesh where neck meets shoulder. My body gave into His strength. My mind let go of logic. My heart and soul gratefully surrendered to His Demand. I will always feel the echoes of the Marks He gave me in that moment. That was only the beginning. With ...
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That Urge to Lean Into Him

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You know that unconscious lean you make when you're ready to take a step forward? I feel that in my soul.  That lean toward Him.  The desire to take that next step.

I'm happy tonight.  Enthusiastic almost.  A good productive day topped with a great evening of kinship and laughter.  The urge to share that with Him is palpable, and I smile.  Ahhhh...such a tell.  That distinct tug of that emotional submission.

I share my_self with very, very few.  It is the way I am wired, what I have learned to expect, and a method of self-defense.  I may be in long conversations or intricately involved with those I serve or love dear, but in truth...little of the dialog revolves around me...my...self.  Very, very little.  I listen.  I give information, advice, feedback, points of view, ideas to consider, safe harbor.  I do my best not to bore anyone - let alone a Man - with the miniscule details of my life.  I rarely ramble about my day to others as for the most part...it's irrelevant to the trials and tribulations of their lives, and honestly...they don't give a fuck.  There's no resentment in that.  Simply practical acceptance of reality.

I've lived 45 years, and it is what it is, especially for guys.  ~shrug~  Those broad questions like "How are you doing?" or "How was your day?" are met with polite honest answers "Good," "Busy," "Productive," "Stressful," etc.  Respectful one word answers and then I quickly move on to refocus the conversation toward the more important stuff related to whomever I'm talking to.  Most never notice or think a thing of it let alone ask more detailed follow ups.  If they don't choose to see me...trust me, I won't force them to.  lol  My soul takes intention to see and touch.

Yet, tonight the urge to curl up next to Him and open the curtains to my day remains.  Some piece of me seeks that emotional companionship in Him.  To both lower my guard and share silly details and warm feelings toward the world as well as find a safe, attentive, interested, thoughtful response.  Huh.

Being vulnerable to that need with Him...wanting to be vulnerable like that...unexpected.  This...emotional submission...isn't something we've discussed or outlined.  It is also unlikely to fit in easily within our structure, but that could simply be my way of being cautious.

For now, I simply accept the moment...that sweet telling lean toward Him.

Maybe...just maybe my little girl's coma isn't as deep as I believed.

Hmmmmm....
~DominaKat  

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