In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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A Lioness’ Surrender

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I don’t know what happened.
I don’t know why.

Just...

The urge...
The desire...
The instinct...
The need...

Was simply there.

Surrounded by the quiet.
With no words between us.
In the last bit of time we had in the day...

I surrendered.

To Him.
To us.
To my submission.

I slipped from His warm embrace
and curled on the floor at my Owner’s feet.

Slowly...
So slowly...

I let go.

Of what I don’t know.
My self control?
My pride?
My ego?
The last defenses around my heart?
My...???

I don’t know.
I don’t know.

He knew.

This was no little moment.
No casual act.

His hand stroked me.
His whispered “good girl” became my everything.

After long moments.
Tears fell.
Sprung from everywhere and nowhere.
They licked the hem of His jeans and bled into the tiny ridges in His sock.

My sniffles and quiet sobs...
Gave away my soul.

I’m left both shattered and whole.
At perfect peace and every seam undone.

I didn’t seek this.
I wasn’t reaching for it.

To have resisted...
Would not have been authentic.
Would not have been my truth.

I...
Don’t know what to do now.
I...
Don’t know what I need now.

Stillness feels right.

That’s all I can find.
My words offer none of my usual solace.

So I pause.
I consider.
And I surrender to the knowledge.
That my Lioness finally bowed to her Alpha. 
~DominaKat

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