Now that my submissive has finally found freedom with a Lion who understands how hard I need to run and who is brave enough to traverse the dark paths I've longed to explore, I've discovered My Lil Sadistic Monster hidden in the deepest dark shadows of my soul.
With my Owner's and several close friends' encouragement, I get closer and closer to this Wild Thing. I watch My Lil Monster. I feed Her little bites when I go to meet ups/munches, classes, and the occasional party. I can soooo feel when my Sadist perks up at a juicy morsel. ~GROWL~
While I’m not quite ready to act on anything - or maybe I should say anyONE - I recognize that that time is rapidly approaching. This post has been months in the making, as I've gotten to know at least My Lil Monster's initial basic rules, needs, desires, and limits.
First and FOREMOST it needs to be clear.
No one HAS to play with My Sadistic Bitch. Really. I am a FIRM believer in respecting others’ needs and limits. Respect mine. If you don't like how I want/need to play...don't play with me. Simple as that. You go find what you need. I'll find what I need. No harm no foul.
Second and JUST AS IMPORTANTLY...
My Lil Monster is a SELFISH BITCH. It unapologetically wants wants IT wants! It wants to be FED from shared symbiotic desires AKA...My Sadistic ones and another's masochistic ones. Don’t weave a fuckin fantasy in your head based on a fat ass, big tits, or a title or of a tall thick Domme who endlessly milks your cock and sends you over and over again into endless sexual bliss simply because your dick gets hard. ~eye roll~ Save us both the energy and effort. Time is a precious commodity. I am NOT a Service Top selflessly endeavouring to make your fantasies come true. My Monster is neither that fucking kind nor that damn generous.
Now on to details...
~HARD LIMITS~
Let me lay out my Sadistic Bitch's HARD LIMITS first, so there’s no misconception about what I could or could not be and what a scene with me may or may not be.
Consent is Mandatory: I'm not a mind-reader. We will have conversation and negotiations before anything happens and come to mutual consent on play. I will keep play to what has been consented to ONLY. I will monitor as best I can your response, but anyone I play with will be expected to ACTIVELY communicate with me during a scene.
Make no mistake...just as you consent, I must consent too. Do not try to force anything on me that I have not agreed to. I don't care if you do get rock fucking hard, and need to cum...if we haven't agreed to a sexual dynamic (which would be extraordinarily rare), it AIN'T gonna happen. There isn't much conversation about the D side of the slash consenting, but I absolutely embrace that concept. Don't agree to rub my feet but suddenly WITHOUT CONSENT start sliding your tongue between my toes. You won't like the response or your goddamn dentist bill.
Private Play: My Owner is the only one I play privately with. Male bottoms/subs...this means for any chance in playing with me, you MUST be willing to engage at a local NYC party/play space. I am NOT coming to your place to spank you, you will NOT be invited to My place, and I am NOT meeting you in a hotel room. This is for BOTH our safety and benefit. If you are not willing or able to OWN your kinky shit with other likeminded adults, I have no sympathy or interest.
For female bottoms/subs that prove they have basic sense and NO drama, a private scene with My Owner MAY be a possibility eventually and well negotiated ahead of time, but she would need to understand and embrace that she would submit to Me not Him. No questions. No do overs. I have a -10 tolerance for stupid girl drama.
F/m Sexual Intercourse: Yes, boys, really. Sex is a hard limit. If you are looking to get used endlessly by a FemDom, do not even bother reading the rest of this. I am NOT the Woman you need. I can and will sexualize those who inspire and consent to that element in our play. I will be amused and toy with your erection, but fucking and sucking you off isn’t on the menu of options you get to choose from. Don't whine. Don't beg. Don't try to talk me into it. Depending on the venue where we play, I may encourage you to cum, but that would only be if I was feeling extraordinarily kind.
Note: This also means you will not be eating me out. Oh I may play with face sitting with a clothing barrier but no penetration. It doesn't matter HOW good you say your skills are. ~yawn~ My Sadist isn't sexually inspired by submissive men. If that changes, trust me...I'll let ya'll know.
On-Going/Long Term/Relationship: While My Monster is Dominant, I do not want nor do I have the emotional/mental capacity or desire to be YOUR Dom. My Sadist is an occasional play partner ONLY. I canNOT/will NOT run your life or be your Alpha and Omega. Having a submissive side, I completely understand that need, but I am not capable of fullfilling that role. While our scene may/could be intense, it will be a temporary encounter ONLY and not a 24/7 dynamic/situation. Friendship would be the most we could ever evolve into over time.
Emotional Intimacy: Even in the vanilla world I am not a touchy feely kind of woman that hugs everyone in the vicinity. I am incapable of faking affection. My soft side is reserved only for those closest to me, who I have a strong, long-term, emotional relationship with. My brand of Dominance, sensuality, and play is raw, intense, and vicious. It is not gentle, kind, or sweet. I am NOT a Mommy. Yes, My Sadistic Monster is absolutely a bit of a cold Bitch. Understand this. Accept this. AGAIN...you do NOT have to play with me.
High Levels of Aftercare: Aftercare will be thoroughly PRE-discussed/negotiated. I am not trying to be insensitive. However, I can no more give you sweet comforting cuddles and coos than I can be a 5’ 5” 125 lb prima ballerina. Again...I'm not a touchy, feely, overly affectionate woman with humanity. It is what it is. Do not try to guilt me into being something I'm not. I will say thank you, I will help sober you up if you want from any buzz you may have, I will get you some water if you need, I will get you a cab, but in the end you are grown. I will not wrap you in a blanket, baby you, and pat you on the bum for hours. I will not be maternal and hover over you with hugs and little kisses. I will also NOT be your instant unpaid therapist in the days/weeks/months following play.
If you need nurturing aftercare, arrange for a friend/lover who can support you. Know yourself. Prep yourself. Make plans accordingly. If you can't handle this style of play without mucho coddling and poo-poo'ing after, do NOT play with me. No ONE is forcing you! This should be a mutually agreeable endeavor that takes us both to positive places. If we pre-negotiate all of this and you consent, but can't cope...I will obviously try to get you back to a good place as best I can, but we will likely never play again.
~DESIRES~
Inspiration: My Sadist demands to be inspired. I will not automatically want to beat your ass simply because you say you're a submissive or bottom. There's this ~zing~ that flares in me when someone grabs My Sadistic Monster's attention. What inspires it is undefinable as of now. I've felt it stir at boastful confidence, at the brush of hair off a bare shoulder, at pretty eager giddiness, at lush curves, at detached observation, at an avoided glance. Like my sexuality and my submission, My Monster needs some kind of connection and chemistry. The only exception to this is if/when My Owner includes another. Then He instantly sparks that Dominant vicious energy to control another. It's...odd, but that's how it is. ~shrug~
Impact Play: My hands itch to hold and wield leather instruments. A flogger, a belt, a crop, a strap, a whip, a cat o'nine tails...~sigh~ The earthy feel against my palm, the musky smell, the snappy sound, the sweet fucking response of a whimper, a groan, a cry. ~licks my licks~ I want to mark skin and know my attentions will be felt for days.
Suffering: There are a variety of ways to suffer that make My Lil Beast lick her lips. A groan. Whimpers. Cringes. Tears...oh yes...a woman's big fat tears. ;-)
Control: Fuck yes! I want to control pleasure and pain, sensuality and sexuality. I want obedience. I want to hear begging and decide when, where, how, and IF I'll grant a desire. Yummy mindfucks!
AGAIN...
It should be extremely clear by now...I am not a gentle, sensual, coddling Female Dom/Top. I am a Sadist - not the most twisted one by any means - but I am definitely more into pain and control. I know and readily accept that I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. No one HAS to play with My Sadistic Bitch. Really.
I am a FIRM believer in respecting others’ needs and limits. Respect mine. I will NOT try to talk you into playing with me. Don’t try to guilt/force me into giving you whatever fantasy you crave that I don’t have the ability to offer. If we aren’t a fit, no drama. YKINMK. There is nothing more to discuss. You aren’t paying me, so don’t believe for a moment that you can custom order from some mega Dominatrix superstore. Not every option is available here.
The first critical step in achieving that which you are capable of and experiencing in real life what you close your eyes and see is to OWN unapologetically what LIVES within you. This truth has proven itself over and over again in my life. It is no different now with this piece of me. I'm ready for more than just maybe's and somedays. This new path is now also a part of my journey through the dark.
My Lil Monster picks up a scent and rattles Her cage more and more often. Soon I will begin My hunt(s) and start allowing that Bitch out on a firm leash to play with compatible partners. ;-) 2018 looks to be a very fun time indeed. lol
~DominaKat
Note: ALL of the above is subject to change and evolution without written warning/update to this post. Ask questions. Be an active responsible adult even if you are on the right side of the slash.
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