The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

-
On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
Post a Comment

Of Pain & Punishment

-
My mind is full.  Over the course of the next 48 hours there will likely be a myriad of posts.  Call it intellectual purging.  This month has been insanely packed not just with holidays but also significant family events and travel, as well as emotionally taut incidences.  I simply haven't had the bandwidth, the energy, or the willpower to sort through the tangled ball of yarn that have been my thoughts.  I crashed hard and deep for about three days this week and once again most of today.  To any I may have inadvertently been slow to respond to bare with me.  It's not you...it's simply I needed to recover as well as sort through and release my thoughts so that I once again have mental and emotional space for more.



He punished me.

I had no warning.  I had no preparation.

I could and did and do argue miscommunication at a certain level.  However, despite all that, I can't lie.  My actions were deliberate.  I knew that at the time.  Why I did/didn't do those things is a separate issue, mutually agreed upon, and being resolved through completely different measures. My disobedience was another matter entirely.

It's rare that I actually deserve to be punished.  I tend to be a very conscientious and proactive submissive.  It's not often I fuck up, but when I do, I will own my shit.  It took me a minute to understand what was happening.  He's so damn smooth like that.

Once I was bare assed and bent over, He dropped His guard and showed me His displeasure.  He didn't raise His voice, but I heard His anger and frustration with me in the subtle change of pace and tone.  I held as still as I could and listened to the words He'd waited to say in person between the whippy stingy unfun flogger strikes.

When I finally began to grasp the truth He was laying in front of me that I hadn't seen or felt or realized...I understood and accepted that His punishment was valid.

He commented that I was shifting away from the pain even though I enjoy pain so much.  Punishment pain is a very different headspace, and headspace defines everything for most masochists.  Since He leads our play, He defines the boundaries of my headspace in our moments.  Punishment - even the most restrained - doesn't allow the pain to transition into that sweet fiery sexy energy.  Instead the pain remains cold and hard.  Every bite of the little flogger stung, amplifying His precise points and His warnings.

It was the shortest discussion of my errors that I've ever had.  My past includes some very ugly cruel emotional shit for my supposed transgressions and failures...from four hour long raging monologues to endless days/weeks/months of neglect.  This momentary intervention...was something I'd never experienced in my life with a partner.  The entire process couldn't have been more than ten minutes, yet on reflection I learned so much.  About Him...myself...Us.

I didn't understand until well after, but...I needed His punishment.

I needed to know my actions or rather lack of actions mattered to Him.
I needed to know I...this...the / between us...the stuff that others don't see...it ALL mattered to Him.
I needed to know, see, feel that we are deeper than just the thrills and sexy fun to Him.
I needed to know, see, hear, feel His control, His Dominance, and genuine authentic feedback even when it wasn't positive.
I needed to know, see, feel that even when I'm a bit of a bitch He'll reign me in, guide me to my place, and not cause irreparable damage like so many others.
I needed to know, see, feel that I could trust Him with my submission...that He values it very much...even though He refuses to leash me and demands that I fly and explore and experience.

I've learned my lessons...many more than I expected.

I apologized long ago, but I'm honestly more emotional now days/weeks(?) later after tugging on the various threads in my head and finally weaving them together in words than I was during my punishment.  Like many aspects of us, the truth is deeper than what is apparent on the surface.  Sometimes I lose sight of that when the noise gets too loud or when the silence becomes too much.
~DominaKat

P.S. For any Domly Dom/Uber Master of Five Slaves (aka unemployed and lazy) thinking of posting about some topping from the bottom bullshit...fuck the fuck off with that fantasy narcissistic douchery in your head.  I'm neither that manipulative nor disrespectful.  I'm human, straightforward, and authentic.  Go perv some T&A and keep your nonsense to yourself.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Compersion of An Unruly Whore

-
It didn't matter that my whore had been in time-out, curled in a ball, mute, and non-responsive for two months. It didn't matter that I had no way of managing her urges and cravings, so I'd shoved her in a cage with multiple padlocks and starved her dumb ass. It didn't matter that I didn't trust her to meet expectation or control her aggressiveness.  It didn't matter that He'd shown no need for her shenanigans.  As He kissed me good-bye and shut the door of the truck, my whore woke with a vengence—wide-eyed and panting—from her self-imposed retreat, howling in her cage, begging to be released from confinement. My fingers trembled, and I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, trying in vain to focus on my next stop and the list of tasks I needed to complete.  Though absolute pure joy flowed through me at the thought of His pleasure and happiness, I fought the unexpected tsunami of electric sexual energy that roared in my veins.   I couldn’t catch my breath....
Read more

My Truth

-
I've bottomed to Tops, but no one has ever truly seen me surrender or submit.  Whatever glimpse they may have seen of something...it was/is nothing compared to how I instinctively respond to THAT beautiful, sexy Man.  With Him...I surrender and submit with everything I am and everything I wish I could be.  Under, guiding, grounding all of my practical personalities and acts of service, the Truth is... The very sight of Him can bring me to tears.   The smell of Him grounds and eases my spirit. His voice, my compass to bring me Home. His touch effortlessly reaches in and can either settle or shakes the depths of my soul. The taste of Him is my Redemption. To have Him fill me, take me, claim me is my Ascension to Divine transformation. My Truth is... I fuckin Worship That Man. The ground He walks on. The very air He breathes.   My surrender to Him, His will, His needs, His comfort, His well-being are my True North.   I am simply His Lioness, Alf...
Read more

The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

-
On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
Read more