In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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STOP! THIS is NOT Who We Are!

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What the fucking FUCK?!?  STOP!

Unless you are somehow DIRECTLY involved with the participants currently embroiled in the various NYC incidences, I fucking BEG you to pull yourself out of the ugly nasty turbulent river of conflict, pain, disappointment, and angst that is the Fet feed for a day...just a day.  Take a few cleansing breaths, and fucking see, remember, and EMBRACE the reality that this drama is NOT ALL there is to the NYC Kink Community!!!

A FEW nasty narcissistic abusers have been called out for years of chronic monstrous behavior that happened for the most part...WITHIN their D/s relationships - a FEW.  The horror that was experienced by these dozen or so submissives should NOT get to replace the...

BEAUTY.
FUN.
FRIENDSHIP.
SEXINESS.
LEARNING.
COMPASSION.
UNDERSTANDING.
SUPPORT.
ENCOURAGEMENT.
DELIGHT.
and sheer fucking JOY...

That the other THOUSAND(s) OF US (tens of thousands over the last decade) have come together and shared with each other at munches, classes, discussions, events, conferences, and parties!

I don't give a fuck how many likes and comments the various posts do or don't have or how many SJWs are pounding their chests in demand for the community to take a dozen different stands on people, places, groups, events, concepts...we canNOT forget, dismiss, or ignore the SIGNIFICANT POSITIVE INFLUENCE we and those before us have already created.  Fet K&P and my kinky social media feed, does NOT get to re-fucking-write the TRUTH about my last year in the phenomenal local scene or the dozens of beautiful people who I've met.  Don't let it re-write yours either.

I went to two local events this week.  Each one I walked toward with a bit of dread, afraid that the topic of conversation in real time was going to mirror the ugliness online.  Instead I hugged my friends and laughed and smiled, and we shared positive bits and pieces of ourselves and made plans.  I met new people and encouraged them to learn.  I saw smiling faces simply happy to see old friends in a positive setting.  And I breathed a sigh of relief at the strength and welcome of our community.

I'm not uncompassionate toward the victims at ALL.  Hell, I see glimpses of myself at 20-something when I was in a mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically abusive vanilla marriage to a narcissistic sociopath.  I empathize.  Seek professional help.  Take care of yourself.  Heal.  Be strong.  Forgive yourself.  Reach for positive new beginnings.  It's HARD fucking work, but you are the only one that can do it.  Peace will eventually come.  I promise.

However, these tragic relationship experiences do not define the ENTIRE community.  Just like my experience with marriage did and does not get to define the practice for the rest of the world.  The bickering and vitriol and rubber-necking that is currently consuming the community's social media does NOT represent the sum of what and who and how WE ARE!  The more you devour every post, comment, breadcrumb...the harder that is to see, remember, and feel that, so PLEASE...stop, take a step back, and remember the good...the beauty...and the JOY that is kink in the city even as we all do our part to make the changes we need.

Play safe.  Play hard.

With Love & Mischief
~DominaKat

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