The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...

Tell Me "No"

Floggers, crops, whips, rope...heady, sexy, yummy toys of kink.  The showmanship, the Pain, the obvious position of Power and Authority to submission are tangible, bold opportunities to share intimate experiences with one another, especially those in D/s dynamics.  Yet, often a simple, reasonable, deftly placed "No" lands much deeper and last much longer than a night's pretty bruises or vicious lashes.  In fact an occasional denial (preferably accompanied with a why) is essential to a healthy Power Exchange relationship.

A "No" in a sea of "Yes" demonstrates that He listens.

A "No" because He wants that Privilege with me shows He still desires me.

A "No" draws a Boundary that reassures me.

A "No" to keep me safe reminds me how much He values His property.

A "No" to make me uncomfortable allows me to please and amuse His Sadism.

A "No" once again establishes His Control.

A "No" gives me the chance to obey and serve my Owner.

A "No" may piss me off, but my submission to His Will reinforces His Authority in my life.

A "No" is a slight tug on my collar that reminds me I'm Owned and who Leads.

I don't want to be cushioned from being denied something.  I want to relish the moment and fully understand the weight behind it.  Let it leave its mark firmly on my mind and heart.  His "No" is an intimate opportunity to bring us closer and reinforce our Power Exchange like nothing else.
~DominaKat

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