Womanhood is a complicated prism. Strengths and weaknesses ebb and flow depending who is doing the assessing. Gender, age, Power Exchange role, economic, cultural perspective, and more all influence which elements hold value and which are are irrelevant.
A younger Man might rate a woman higher if she’s willing and able to bear children.
A bottom will likely gravitate more toward strong Dominant women.
Someone struggling financially might have a greater appreciation for a woman who is financially independent where a wealthier man might be ambivalent.
There is definitely no longer one way to "woman" -- at least in modern American culture. There is also no one way to submit. The best choice for either is to be authentic and true to who and what you are. In fact, back in July one of my s-friends brought me back this from TESFest and Orpheus Black,
"You serve your purpose - your submission - by being who you are." Such amazing fucking advice, and a fundamental I think many who try to walk the path of submission miss...hell, most vanillas miss it too.
The biggest challenge of any Power Exchange is to face and embrace your own truth. If I don't have the courage, the willpower, and the knowledge of self to Own who and what I am...my strengths, my weaknesses, my capacity/abilities, my limitations, how can I possibly submit to a worthy Dominant Man? How can He possibly appreciate what I give? My truest submission and purpose is through being my truest self. I can no more be a delicate, curtseying, tea and crumpets-serving slave or a morose heavy metal gothy s-chick than I can be a petite, giggly, natural redhead with a long curly mane. It ain't in my damn DNA.
All this as well as a variety of circumstances and several conversations with various people the last few months have made me pause and take stock of just what it is I have to offer my Dominant Man as well as ask myself... "What is my purpose?" and "What is the depth of my submission?
My purpose: To serve my King - to be His strong, trusted, unquestionable advocate by His side and provide Him a shelter of peace and pleasure especially when weathering life's storms.
My natural M/s-centric traits include honesty, loyalty, and obedience. (Though I do sometimes purposefully choose defiance when mutual agreements are blatantly not kept. I fully accept the consequences of my actions as well. All that is another post entirely though.) Instincts drive me to follow strong and purposeful leadership, especially since my brutally honest and straightforward tendencies are definitely not for Dominants whose egos bruise easily. However for a Man intent on Truth, I am one of His most valuable assets.
Yes, at my root I am an insatiable masochistic whore willing and eager to serve/please my Man in countless ways. Very few have ever been able to tap into the veins of my sinful soul, and fewer still have had the strength and ability to run with the animal that I am. Yet...my submission is so much fucking more than my primal state of existence. Anyone who sees D/s as simply play and sex is short-sighted at best - uneducated and shallow at worst.
I am that intelligent, strategic, versatile, consigliere/professional. I've been called a secret weapon, occasionally Spock, but most have refer to me as...Alfred. I manage, support, arm, nurture, protect, and defend the superheroes in my life. I do this for family. I do this as a profession. I willingly have done it for significant others.
I am also that vanilla woman who cooks and cleans and nurtures a living space that any Man would be proud to show/share with His friends and family. Artwork graces my walls, books pad shelves, and well chosen modern furniture provides both comfort and peace. While I'm no chef, most days I can prepare flavorful meals that will sate a Man's pallet and His appetite.
I can be that Bad Ass Bitch at His back. My Warrior side is fierce and unwavering and vicious as fuck. Essentially it is how my Sadistic Top (My Lil Monster) submits to my Dominant if circumstances require her presence.
I am a tomboy able to swing a hammer or a bullwhip, help with car repairs, use power tools, build a hellofa fire, drive a stick (from a muscle car to an F-650), and shoot a 9mm semi auto center mass to name a few.
I am an urban transplant at home at an art gallery, in the basement of a jazz club, traipsing through the park, navigating the NYC subways, or dressing to the nines for the opera.
I am proud and selective woman. I am not a kinky rollercoaster whose purpose is to entertain the most riders. My submission is not candy tossed out at a parade. When I bow, when I kneel, when I lay at His feet, my Man knows without a doubt just how meaningful and precious that act of submission is. When I submit it is not an act of desperation but a demonstration of honor and respect.
I am an active participant of life. In all facets of myself I seek to learn, experience, grow, and evolve. That includes within my chosen dynamic. I will not be exactly who I was last year or even last week. I eagerly take direction and welcome the opportunity to grow with my Owner.
Layer upon layer upon layer...my submission can take many forms. Different pieces of me have taken on bigger roles as required, and honestly, my value can wane or multiply depending on circumstances. Naturally, my Owner’s needs and wants determine how my submission manifests, and in the end He defines which of my talents and skills He wants, expects or demands.
None have ever wanted all of me, and that's okay. I fully acknowledge I am a complicated prism. All that is needed is for Him to shine His light in the direction He desires, and together we find the magic that is right for us.
We all must embrace and bring our authentic selves to any dynamic and own the purpose we were meant to serve. That is the first work that must be done before any of us can begin. To do otherwise will only end in frustration, disappointment, and even heartbreak. However, if we allow our authentic selves to shine bright, the One for us will see the beauty and potential of your prism waiting for their Dominant light.
~DominaKat
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