The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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A Fearless Masochist

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Continuing to ponder my masochist and discovering little kernels of Truth...

I don’t have fear.

At least not any more.

When the shit I once coped with on a daily basis was so vicious, nasty, and evil that I could barely even speak of it, it’s difficult to be afraid of the Pain a trusted partner might deliver in the context of a BDSM scene.

Probably naive of me, I know.  There are many talented Sadists out there.  Maybe it would be better if I said...I don’t have fear YET.

But still...I'm not sure there could be a "YET."

A few things that have tumbled around my head as I've considered how fear might exist for my masochist...
  • I don’t have phobias to play off and exacerbate.
  • My response to sudden fear tends to be anger and swift violence, so maybe we really shouldn’t play in that pond. 
  • I long ago trained myself to face and confront situational fear.  "Fuck it...let's roll/do this."  Having spent years on the South Side of the Yo makes most BDSM scenes seem like a child's playground on a fear barometer.  (Hmmm...I wonder if fear is more of playtoy for those who haven't been embedded in potentially life-altering situations.)
  • I’m not one to be afraid of controlled (by a trusted Top) situations.
  • Am I a pain in the ass even in masochism???  Fuck.  Probably.  
  • Fear isn’t my kink.  Pain is.
Could I be cautious, nervous, apprehensive, or dread the suffering I might endure in an upcoming scene?  Sure.  But those are very different emotions from fear in my experience.  Fear is the kind of emotion that devours your stomach and eats at the base of your skull.  

Pain - despite the feeling - is my mental record scratch that narrows down the world to a silence where all that exists is me, Him, and the Pain.  Most times, I find an almost spiritual peace in Pain play.  

Fear play on the other hand would be like unending feedback of an amp plugged into my mind...not something I would consent to.  It wouldn't send me flying.  It wouldn't break me at His feet.  It would just piss me the fuck off, which doesn't sound like a great way to connect with a partner, especially if a bat was within reaching distance.

Hmmm...maybe a Capture Garden scene, but even then I think that would be more of a competitive game and fun rather than fear.

But who knows.  One thing I've definitely learned in my journey is that somewhere along the way, you MIGHT consider or even relish a kink you'd never thought would work for you.  Hehehe  Damn, isn't this shit fun???  ;-)

With mischief, 
~DominaKat

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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