My Submission to The Universe

I learned long ago not to fight the Omnipotent power of The Universe's will, especially this time of year. When She repeatedly sends the same message in a dozen different ways, it is a good idea to stop, listen, and accept the direction She has chosen. There is a lesson/challenge She has put in my path. In essence, I submit to Her. To defy Her is to get my ass kicked every damn time. So with Nina Simone and a lil Mary J. Blige accompanying me as I find my words...

Universe...I hear you. I submit to Your will.

Over the last several months, Male energy has dramatically receded from my inner perimeter in essentially all facets of my life. I've been unable to slow - let alone stop - the retreat. (I tried a bit at first not seeing the broader theme.) I know without a doubt the love and appreciation is still there in all cases. The distance I am experiencing is not a reflection of shifted feelings. Life has simply demanded their attention and efforts.

In every instance - no matter how painful or how frustrating - I've chosen to reach for internal and external positive energy in response. I refuse to slip on the downward spiral of negativity.

For the first time in a long, long, and I mean LONG time, I've found a tremendous amount of POSITIVE female energy around me. I'm both humbled and grateful for the experience. Ladies...you all know who you are. You may not realize it, but you've shown me MUCH and have begun to dismantle a mountain of cynicism related to female energy. I am in your debt and do my best to honor your wisdom, compassion, kindness, and empathy. To the best of my ability I continue to both embrace and contribute to this universal and one-on-one energy. Every day I learn/improve a bit more.

The internal work is more subtle. Deeper and deeper I've gone to uncover my innermost Truth. For too long I was simply in survival mode. Over the last two years, I've graduated beyond survivor and begun to thrive, yet I remained buried in an overall submission that served everyone and everything else but did not serve me.

Yes, submission to those around me is at my core and inherent to my nature. However, somewhere along the way early on, I mistakenly came to the conclusion and practice that love, giving, and submission meant taking up less space and sacrificing my self for everyone else. If my submissive habits drain me dry...that is NOT HEALTHY. So for the first time in my life, I am investing in intentional self-care. Not the kind that simply keeps me functional. My efforts are focused on understanding and enhancing that which FEEDS MY SOUL in order to thrive and realize my true inner peace and power.

Establishing the tight-wire balance of the power exchange is as much the submissive's responsibility as it is the Dominant forces. I can't only give. I can't only wait until a D-energy choses to take what I have to offer. I can't simply wait for D-energy to take care of and nurture me. I must also find and indulge in self-sustaining energies that fill me, so that when the opportunity presents itself, my submission is strong, powerful, and satisfying for the Dominant force AND for ME. Deep knowledge of self, intentional self-care, and active self soul feeding is the only way for me to thrive and ultimately have the most to give.

No one accompanies me on this new path, which is appropriate. It is a discovery of self after all. The road is steep, and the way forward is often unclear. I take each step on intuition, but the journey feels incredibly slow. Excitement and fireworks are definitely not the rewards for progress. Instead a quiet strength infuses my discovery and growth, like bearing witness to an internal sunrise as I cling to a craggy cliff on the side of a mountain. The combined twinkle of female energy from the ladies in my world dances on the sunbeams and warms my soul. A quiet deep hum of male pride whispers faintly on the wind. Every morning I pick up where I've left off to reach higher and learn more of my Truth that has been hidden and buried for too long.

Hopefully, at some point in this journey I'll find a balance in myself, in my relationships, and in my world that I've never had before. Until then...

Universe...I hear you. I submit to Your will. Please...it's October...I simply beg your kindness.
~DominaKat