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My words are not for the faint of heart. Be brave. Risk your soul.
I spoke of Faith. Now…I’ll kneel to Reverence. Our first date. I stood calmly in His bedroom. Still. Waiting. A lioness’ instinctive understanding short-circuited my usual primal sexual aggression. I knew this man before I knew Him. Though desire and need raged through my veins, my lioness lowered her head in acquiescence to a Power she had known before time began and been searching for this entire lifetime. I waited. Utterly defenseless. To see how He would move. To see what He would want of me. To see which direction He would Lead us. He shifted behind me in the dim light. His first touch. A bold unmistakable Claim. With a deliberate slowness that seemed to last eternity, His fingers dug into my biceps as His teeth sank into my tender flesh where neck meets shoulder. My body gave into His strength. My mind let go of logic. My heart and soul gratefully surrendered to His Demand. I will always feel the echoes of the Marks He gave me in that moment. That was only the beginning. With ...
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My Submission to The Universe
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I learned long ago not to fight the Omnipotent power of The Universe's will, especially this time of year. When She repeatedly sends the same message in a dozen different ways, it is a good idea to stop, listen, and accept the direction She has chosen. There is a lesson/challenge She has put in my path. In essence, I submit to Her. To defy Her is to get my ass kicked every damn time. So with Nina Simone and a lil Mary J. Blige accompanying me as I find my words...
Universe...I hear you. I submit to Your will.
Over the last several months, Male energy has dramatically receded from my inner perimeter in essentially all facets of my life. I've been unable to slow - let alone stop - the retreat. (I tried a bit at first not seeing the broader theme.) I know without a doubt the love and appreciation is still there in all cases. The distance I am experiencing is not a reflection of shifted feelings. Life has simply demanded their attention and efforts.
In every instance - no matter how painful or how frustrating - I've chosen to reach for internal and external positive energy in response. I refuse to slip on the downward spiral of negativity.
For the first time in a long, long, and I mean LONG time, I've found a tremendous amount of POSITIVE female energy around me. I'm both humbled and grateful for the experience. Ladies...you all know who you are. You may not realize it, but you've shown me MUCH and have begun to dismantle a mountain of cynicism related to female energy. I am in your debt and do my best to honor your wisdom, compassion, kindness, and empathy. To the best of my ability I continue to both embrace and contribute to this universal and one-on-one energy. Every day I learn/improve a bit more.
The internal work is more subtle. Deeper and deeper I've gone to uncover my innermost Truth. For too long I was simply in survival mode. Over the last two years, I've graduated beyond survivor and begun to thrive, yet I remained buried in an overall submission that served everyone and everything else but did not serve me.
Yes, submission to those around me is at my core and inherent to my nature. However, somewhere along the way early on, I mistakenly came to the conclusion and practice that love, giving, and submission meant taking up less space and sacrificing my self for everyone else. If my submissive habits drain me dry...that is NOT HEALTHY. So for the first time in my life, I am investing in intentional self-care. Not the kind that simply keeps me functional. My efforts are focused on understanding and enhancing that which FEEDS MY SOUL in order to thrive and realize my true inner peace and power.
Establishing the tight-wire balance of the power exchange is as much the submissive's responsibility as it is the Dominant forces. I can't only give. I can't only wait until a D-energy choses to take what I have to offer. I can't simply wait for D-energy to take care of and nurture me. I must also find and indulge in self-sustaining energies that fill me, so that when the opportunity presents itself, my submission is strong, powerful, and satisfying for the Dominant force AND for ME. Deep knowledge of self, intentional self-care, and active self soul feeding is the only way for me to thrive and ultimately have the most to give.
No one accompanies me on this new path, which is appropriate. It is a discovery of self after all. The road is steep, and the way forward is often unclear. I take each step on intuition, but the journey feels incredibly slow. Excitement and fireworks are definitely not the rewards for progress. Instead a quiet strength infuses my discovery and growth, like bearing witness to an internal sunrise as I cling to a craggy cliff on the side of a mountain. The combined twinkle of female energy from the ladies in my world dances on the sunbeams and warms my soul. A quiet deep hum of male pride whispers faintly on the wind. Every morning I pick up where I've left off to reach higher and learn more of my Truth that has been hidden and buried for too long.
Hopefully, at some point in this journey I'll find a balance in myself, in my relationships, and in my world that I've never had before. Until then...
Universe...I hear you. I submit to Your will. Please...it's October...I simply beg your kindness.
~DominaKat
On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
FUCK, Covid! I've been a socially defiant bitch more often than not. When the world starts going one way, something in my mind always tells me to jump off that bus. Yeah...this fucking sucks. Everywhere for everyone it sucks. COVID (either it or the fear/threat of it) is everywhere. But for fuck sake...does it HAVE to insinuate itself FULLY into Fet?!? If Facebook has turned into a political, socially dividing, fact-checking, misleading propaganda machine, then FetLife has turned into a giant mother fucking emotional therapy support center of tears and sniffles and traumatized blank stares. Look...I get it! This shit is HARD...physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I've been sheltering-in-place for 67 days in a NYC apartment with no private backyard, no balcony, no front stoop. I need and want an escape...but since the hot, fun, and sexy has all but evaporated from my favorite kink site, Fet's only escape option is a lis...
Updated | 05.20.23 CLASS LIST The 12 Goals of S&M: Foundations for Scenecrafting | Class Write Up Fail Fast, Fail Often, Fail Forward: Normalizing (the Reality of) Failure as a Part of Growth in the Lifestyle | Class Write Up - Coming Soon! Note | Session can be tailored toward a focus of BDSM, Authority Transfer, or Leather Community if desired. The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Intro - 90m or Intensive - 3hrs | Class Write Up Day Workshop - 6 hrs | Includes additional guided self-reflection, group discussions, & self-assessment workbook Know Your Service Boundaries: Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore (for BOTH sides of the /) | Class Write Up The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Series Session 1 | The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey for Marginalized Communities within Kink & Leather | Class Write Up Session 2 | Ally~Advocate~Warrior Tactics for Individuals, Organizers, and Groups in Leather & Kink | Class Write Up Follo...
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