Days left. Like most, I'm reflecting on My Journey Through the Dark this year and setting my sights on goals for next. 2018 had its challenges, but it was good to me in many, many ways even if it didn't go quite the way I'd hoped.
I'm most grateful for the many fantastic relationships that have blossomed in my life - truly my greatest blessing this year. Too many to people to name and that's not what this post is about, but they know who they are. Each one has enhanced my perspective on my various roles and fed my soul. Their positive energy, authentic feedback, and avid openness to discussions and debates have given me much to consider. I appreciate their willingness to both challenge and inspire me and look forward to much more ahead!
I also had the opportunity to contribute in several small ways to my local community, a theme I hope to continue and expand upon in the future. I was hesitant. So many others know so much more than I do, but I'm gaining confidence more and more in my ability to serve the community in positive ways. While I will always have more to learn, I do have valuable knowledge and insights to share as well.
Of course there's always been some hot sexy naughtiness! Mmmmm!!! Probably the best experiences of my life. ~licks lips~ Kwesi's boldness and faith in Himself and me opened doors that have long remained closed in my previous relationships. I followed His lead and felt pieces of myself that I'd always suspected were waiting fall into place. Earth-shattering. And I am unabashedly greedy and eager for more.
I also worked hard on my own inner sexuality and peace. Being so partner-centric has made this a challenge that I still struggle to balance, but I've reached hard to set positive grounding posts.
To be fair, I wish I could say I've come far this year, but annoyance nags me for what feels like a lack of progress. I know so much more could have...SHOULD have been explored. I crave deeper knowledge, experiences, intimacy within my journey. I understand that Life happened and detoured much on occasion, but dammit...there's only so much time we get, and I hate wasting any of it.
So what am I gonna do?
My Goals for 2019:
- Attend at least 2 conferences this year.
- Seek out continued opportunities to give back to my community and continue to build a network of authentic positive relationships.
- Reconnect with my submission...it feels buried under vanilla life as I close out this year. I've had to be strong, independent, and fight too many damn battles. All of which took me further and further away from the surrender I need most as my foundation.
- Establish a better framework around me on the Poly spectrum. I've dated Poly more than not. While it works well for me in many ways, I tend to find myself at the whim of other people's convenience rather than my own.
- Play with My Lil Monster. I've watched, waited, considered, learned. My Sadistic Top needs a chance to breathe even if only for short periods of time and on a tight leash.
- Read more. Write more. Do more.
But most of all...reach for peace, hope, and happiness in all that I do. ")
~DominaKat
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