The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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The Second - Often Missed - Part to Unconditional Love

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I caught a post a few months ago that brought up Unconditional Love as it relates to various kinky dynamics.  It was almost a side note to writer's bigger relationship challenge, but since reading the piece, I've gone back again again in my mind to the idea of Unconditional Love.  What keeps nagging at me is the part everyone skipped over in their haste to debate if that kind of love even existed.

Yes, I believe some people do experience Unconditional Love toward their partner.  For better or worse, I've been one of them a time or two.  Not everyone feels love that way, and that's okay.  Love comes in many different forms, and while Unconditional Love is a beautiful thing, it can be exhausting and heartbreaking as well.

However, there's an important second part to Unconditional Love that is often left unsaid, gone unseen, or flat out ignored.

Unconditional Love does NOT equal Unconditional Relationship.

Those are two extremely different things, and I'd argue that Unconditional Relationships are what doesn't exist, except in a non-consensual culture.  But let's not get sidetracked.

No where is it written that if you love someone unconditionally you'll receive it in return, nor is it written that Unconditional Love requires you to stay in miserable circumstances simply to prove your love's unconditionality.  A million factors can impact the boundaries and viability of even the best, most loving dynamic.  We may love each other unconditionally, but that doesn't mean we are guaranteed to have a relationship on terms we can live with.  Sometimes the terms just aren't good enough for an "us" to exist no matter how deep, strong, or unconditional the love we share may be.

Centuries are filled with stories, poems, movies, etc featuring that very scenario for a reason, yet somehow we always fail to highlight the second part - the reality and practicality of Unconditional Love that doesn't result in Happily Ever After.  Just like other kinds of love, sometimes goodbye is the only answer the Unconditional kind finds too.
~DominaKat

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