Reverence of The Marks & Symbols of Ownership

I spoke of Faith. Now…I’ll kneel to Reverence. Our first date. I stood calmly in His bedroom. Still. Waiting. A lioness’ instinctive understanding short-circuited my usual primal sexual aggression. I knew this man before I knew Him. Though desire and need raged through my veins, my lioness lowered her head in acquiescence to a Power she had known before time began and been searching for this entire lifetime. I waited. Utterly defenseless. To see how He would move. To see what He would want of me. To see which direction He would Lead us. He shifted behind me in the dim light. His first touch. A bold unmistakable Claim. With a deliberate slowness that seemed to last eternity, His fingers dug into my biceps as His teeth sank into my tender flesh where neck meets shoulder. My body gave into His strength. My mind let go of logic. My heart and soul gratefully surrendered to His Demand. I will always feel the echoes of the Marks He gave me in that moment. That was only the beginning. With ...

Missing: property. Pls Call if Found.

~sigh~  It's time I just came out with it.  I can't find my s-side.  Bitch is gone.  Poof.  Greatest magic trick I've come up with in years.  Too bad it wasn't intentional.

I literally can't even imagine being submissive.  Memories of kneeling feel like I'm watching a kinky home movie of someone else in my head.  Yes...I'm THAT detached.  I can't hear her.  I can't touch her.  She is bound and gagged somewhere, and I have no idea where.

If I'm honest, I'm also too busy to search.

Oh...I look around now and then, but I don't change my course of direction.  My mind is focused solely on the tasks at hand, and DAMN have I thrown a heap of tasks into my mix.   #UnownedCopingStrategy  I'm all about progress - FORWARD momentum toward my goals.

I can't even feel sad that she's MIA.  All she would do is slow me down with her...ache.  There's no one to Dominate her, so what good would her appearance be?  None.  None.  Negative 10 none.

Or maybe my Top/Mind/Alfred-side is Dominating my life so much that it has Dominated her into calm silence.  Hmmmm...

Or maybe it's that my emotional and physical are so dormant right now that she's also asleep...waiting.  (Yes, someday this volcano may explode with catastrophic molten lava.  Consider yourself warned.)

I know I'm not like a lot of submissives.  That part of me isn't out for public consumption.  People on the perimeter of my life don't think "Awww...she's so sweet."  More like..."Nope, not gonna fuck with her.  She may hurt me."  I'm never quite sure what that is, but whatever...it works well in NYC.  My point is...my submission/property-ness exists on a much deeper—almost primal—level rather than the surface.  She only appears with the inspiration of a special kind of Dominance.

So...I'm not even sure I could find her if I tried.  Meh.
~DominaKat

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