The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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My Terrible Friendship

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I am a terrible friend.

I am.

At least by the status quo norms that social media has insidiously enabled society to embrace the last decade or so with their much sought after and longed for "likes" and "loves."  Though I can't blame it entirely on social media.  After all, look at cheeto-man.  He was an assholian narrcisist well before the rise of Facebook, Twitter and their enablement of surface-level one-sided mass approval, and he'd spent a lifetime surrounding himself with people who would go his way.  Unfortunately for my friends, I'm not a yes-man or more accurately a "yes-woman" as my pussy wielding self identifies as.

That makes friendship with me sometimes difficult and complicated and even ego bruising.

I'm not the cheerleader to rah-rah your anger blindly to "have your back."  You won't hear me blithely shout out a "Oh yeah girl!  Fuck him."  I need to see clearly where he wronged you before I get on that bandwagon, and if you aren't making sense, my concern for you is long-term peace and happiness not short-term fire-fanning.

Speaking of fire, I won't blow smoke up your ass and encourage you to try out for American Idol when you can't sing a single note in key.  I'm the realist who doesn't want you to waste time, energy, or heartbreaking emotions.  Instead I'll be your marketing guru putting business plans together to build a cupcake business because your cupcakes make grown folks cry.

If you have a "great idea," I'll be the one to ask questions because I'm interested in YOU and I will want to see you succeed.  Yes, that means when I care, I'll find the weaknesses in your ideas, so you don't kill yourself, harm yourself, or lose your damn house with a double-mortgage.  Let's identify critical success factors and find a way to avoid pitfalls.  I won't blindly poo-poo you on the ass and say, "Go for it!" before I blithely walk out the door uninvested.

Oh, and if you are needlessly going down a shitty-ass road full of anger, heartbreak, pain, and destruction, I'll try to reason with you because I love you.  I'll plead because I love you.  I'll fight you because I love you.

So yep, my inability to automatically "yes" you, makes me a terribly difficult friend.

I'm too honest.
I'm too straightforward.
I'm too caring to amplify anything that's going to hurt you, including your own false fucking narratives, simply to feed your moment.

I'll try to be kind.
I'll try to be rational.
I'll try to be patient.

But make no mistake, I won't be your fucking punching bag just because you don't like my honest, genuine, concerned feedback.  Many have realized too late that I know how to fuck off expertly.  I've learned the hard way, I can't force anyone not to burn down their own house or important bridges when they've committed in their heart and mind that this is their only truth.  In fact, if you swing at me, I may even just hand you the lit match before I leave, but don't expect me to stand there and watch it fucking burn.

Maybe that's your kink...for drama, chaos, anger and destruction.

But it sure the fucking fuck isn't mine.

Peace...I'm out.
~DominaKat

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