At about the 15 minute mark of the first session of the Flame Conference yesterday. I absentmindedly shifted in my chair as I sipped my DIY mocha with instant coffee and ready whip. (Suffering is real!) I listened to the speaker, scanned the slides, scribbled copious notes in my purple book most of you have seen in my lap. Then my subconscious started knocking at my conscious...
Subconscious | ~knock knock~ Bitch, you paying attention???
Conscious | ~shifted in chair~ Huh? ~sips chocolate, coffee, cream~
Subconscious | GURL! Has it really been that long that you don't even know what's up?
Conscious | What's up? Where? What? Is there a fire?" ~sniff~ Has the apocalypse started? ~listens~
{pigeon sounds}
Subconscious | ~groan!~
Conscious | Whaaaa...I'm in a conference session. What is the issue?!? ~shifts in chair~ Wait....oh shit!
Subconscious | Yeeeeessss, bitch...yeeeesssssssss!
Conscious | ~shifts in chair~ Huh... ~rubs thighs together~ DAMN!
Subconscious | SMH. I'm done with you. Have fun.
Conscious | ~rubs temple~ Bitch...what did you do this for?!?
{silence}
I'd forgotten.
Conferences make me wet. It's literally been 5 years since I've gone to a professional conference and apparently virtual kink conferences are no different.
In my late twenties, vanilla life sent me to numerous tech conferences a year. Regardless of whether I was an attendee or presenting, without fail my sex drive would inadvertently slam into high gear. I mean HIGH! Some keynotes I'd be damn near panting. Casual sex has rarely been my thing, so I wasn't connecting with anyone. Hell...when I'm at a conference my focus is entirely on learning the new things! No one would ever have called me a party girl by any means...well except for that MAX conference in New Orleans one Halloween. ~wicked grin~
Despite no primary/obvious spark...despite no tangible physical, mental, or emotional engagement...my body would hunger to be fed.
What's interesting is that in my thirties, I'd shifted professionally and ended up running trade show booths at tech conferences. Those grueling week-ish events never stirred my sex drive, so maybe it's the shift into full on intellectual headspace (that requires no responsibility as opposed to higher education) that allows my most core traits to seep up to the surface.
Yet...there's a surreal disconnect. My body is ready, but my emotions and my mind are detached. I've only ever had that same experience one other time. My body sensed shit, my emotions and mind hadn't yet understood. ~sigh~
Regardless...this weekend was a bit masochistic to say the least. And not the fun kind.
~DominaKat
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