In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

I Miss YOU

To my Community Friends & Family...I miss you!  I know I'm connecting with many of you numerous ways electronically, but I fucking MISS sharing space with YOU.

I miss your warm hugs.
I miss the smell of you.
I miss the solid-ness of you.
I miss watching you interact with those you love most.
I miss that subtle look you'd send my way of "WTF?" at something someone else may have said.
I miss your head leaning on my shoulder or (depending on height) my head on yours.
I miss putting my hand on your arm, thigh, or chest as I laughed in joy at our conversation.
I miss that side-eye glance followed by..."stop talking...I need a minute to think of all you just envisioned."
I miss sitting next to you on shitty chairs in a cramped room all for the purpose of simply sharing knowledge and energy.
I miss the friction of our bodies rubbing against one another as we moved through a crowded munch.
I miss the shared excitement and heat as we played together in a dark room.

I miss...
Your unpixalated face.
Your heat.
Your humanity.
Your physical presence.
Your tangible beautiful energy.

For me...I never took for granted those moments where we were live and in person, but you can trust that I value them exponentially more now.  I replay the hugs I shared that last weekend before I retreated to my apartment now 23 days ago.

Even as we stay STRONG and positive and oh so fucking FIERCE...I just wanted you to know.

I.
Fucking.
Miss.
You.

Stay safe.  Stay WELL.  I'll see you as soon as we are able!
~DominaKat

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

DominaKat's Lifestyle Classes I What I Teach & Bio

CLASS WRITE UP | Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore

CLASS WRITE UP | The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics