Reverence of The Marks & Symbols of Ownership

I spoke of Faith. Now…I’ll kneel to Reverence. Our first date. I stood calmly in His bedroom. Still. Waiting. A lioness’ instinctive understanding short-circuited my usual primal sexual aggression. I knew this man before I knew Him. Though desire and need raged through my veins, my lioness lowered her head in acquiescence to a Power she had known before time began and been searching for this entire lifetime. I waited. Utterly defenseless. To see how He would move. To see what He would want of me. To see which direction He would Lead us. He shifted behind me in the dim light. His first touch. A bold unmistakable Claim. With a deliberate slowness that seemed to last eternity, His fingers dug into my biceps as His teeth sank into my tender flesh where neck meets shoulder. My body gave into His strength. My mind let go of logic. My heart and soul gratefully surrendered to His Demand. I will always feel the echoes of the Marks He gave me in that moment. That was only the beginning. With ...

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*(WIP | Raw Copy)*

Top space...
Epiphany...I guess i do Service Top.
Every time i host a group/give a presentation I shift into Top Space mentally, emotionally, physically.
I do what I do out of service.
To share what lil knowledge I have, so that maybe it helps someone a small bit on their own journey as they search for answers and understanding. If I’m lucky, I’ll learn a thing or two myself.  So...

Service Top.

The costs...fuck me but the cost can be brutal. Don’t get me wrong...I enjoy the energy in the moment. In fact there is absolutely joy when those I’m in service to get excited about the thing or find a crumb they’ve been searching for. But don’t believe for a moment that automatically shoves me to the right side of the slash.

It’s the aftermath that reveals the truth. When mental, emotional, physical exhaustion overwhelms me from all the soul energy I had to expend to do the thing and do the thing well. In the post-event hours, my /s-side is left naked and exposed and begging for the safety and comfort of an M/‘s guidance and protection.  My slave longs to rest in His shadow and give up control of every fucking thing I hold together singlehandedly. I don’t want to think. I simply ache to follow.  My rawest most fundamental truth lays bare before me with no avenue for comfort or solace.  No, wonder all I want to do is cry.  I’ve left my truest unprotected and alone.

Fuck me...the cost is steep, but I cannot put my service, my journey, my life on hold waiting for a maybe someday Him to guide and protect me.  I’ll recover. I always do.
~DominaKat

Note | Didn’t edit. Don’t give a fuck right now.

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