In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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2021 | Dream Big

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In the time of Covid, to dream takes on a whole new meaning.  To dream of better days.  To dream of our mask-free past and someday future filled with the warmth of friends close by and laughter in the air.  To dream of carefree travel.  Of love and romance and of course...hope.  Of the sexiness of withering flesh and sweet pain at play parties, joyous leather bar nights with thumping bass, and of warm conferences where we gathered en masse as community.

Fortunately, I'm not the type of masochist to dwell on things outside my reach or ability to manifest.  I refuse to torment myself with the thoughts of what cannot be.  I wait.  Someday the world and the advances of medical science will safely re-open all those doors once again to me and the community in some capacity.

Until then...with emotional and physical needs like love, play, kinkiness, submission, topping, relationship(s), etc all trapped in the muck of Covid, my wheels have spun for months.  Books teased nuanced new flavors into my lifestyle journey.  A few short-term projects nibbled up time and energy.  Friends, family, and zooms sustained me with strength and solace.  However, my mind has hungered for a firm direction to explore, plan for, and work toward.  

The Universe—as always—tends to provide.  Steps in unexpected beginnings slowly have built over the last few months toward new ideas.  I have no idea where this additional road may take me or if anyone will share space with me in this concept, but all I can do is put it out there and see what becomes.

 "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough."
~Muhammad Ali

Many blessings to all in their 2021 journeys.  May we all find joy, laughter, love, good health, and new Peace.

Be safe.  Be well.
~DominaKat

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