Reverence of The Marks & Symbols of Ownership

I spoke of Faith. Now…I’ll kneel to Reverence. Our first date. I stood calmly in His bedroom. Still. Waiting. A lioness’ instinctive understanding short-circuited my usual primal sexual aggression. I knew this man before I knew Him. Though desire and need raged through my veins, my lioness lowered her head in acquiescence to a Power she had known before time began and been searching for this entire lifetime. I waited. Utterly defenseless. To see how He would move. To see what He would want of me. To see which direction He would Lead us. He shifted behind me in the dim light. His first touch. A bold unmistakable Claim. With a deliberate slowness that seemed to last eternity, His fingers dug into my biceps as His teeth sank into my tender flesh where neck meets shoulder. My body gave into His strength. My mind let go of logic. My heart and soul gratefully surrendered to His Demand. I will always feel the echoes of the Marks He gave me in that moment. That was only the beginning. With ...

To Write Again...Part of My Evolution.

It's been a long fucking time since I've written much or written often.  The last year fucked us all up.  My coping tool for it all was to shut down emotions as much as possible and focus on service.

Covid in NYC...fuck.  I would have gone mad if I'd let myself dwell in all that fucking turmoil, fear, and pain.  So...service.  Between work and lifestyle efforts I was putting in 12-16 hours a day from March 2020 until about the end of May.  Then I had to let all that angst go.

Social Justice...fuck how shocked was I when a good portion of the world finally woke the fuck up at least for a few minutes.  Nope...ya didn't see me post.  Nope...ya didn't see me fight with trolls.  Nope...I didn't sink into my emotions of annoyance, frustration, and pure deep seated anger.  So...service.  For me being an ally is so much more than words, more than useless social media likes/loves, more than a t-shirt slogan or a sign.  It's about fucking WORK.  All in kinda work.  Like bust your ass give your best kinda work.  My service to ONYX Pearls NY-NE.  My service to UPRISE!  My service to new projects...    

Which brings me to BlackMusic...fuck.  His last words to me were about the service project I've been working on.  His unwavering encouragement and belief in my vision.  I still haven't come to grip with how deeply his untimely sudden death impacted me.  Fuck.  Just...Fuck.

~sigh~ 

I find myself in a temporary transition phase.  Like a caterpillar wrapped in a cocoon.  From what was to what will be.  Yet there is no slumber.  Rest maybe.  But no comatose happening to me kind of thing.  I'm absolutely actively engaged in this change process.  Though for the moment,  I am in a quieter calmer form of service to the one who grounds me most, and I'm using this time to...process and consider.  I've had many, many transitions over the years.  Each time I've evolved has been...life altering.  I'm not 100% sure what things will look like on the other side of this, but the path I'm on feels so right it's nearly unsettling.  

I do know my words need to flow again.  My voice with words needs to rise again.  For now...I'm simply tapping the dust off my blog and get used to releasing my thoughts once again to the world...or at least my lil tiny corner of it.
~DominaKat

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