In Tatters

I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply

A Moment of Reflections

So long ago...

    Acceptance in the finality.

    Seeds planted in fertile soil.

    Hyper-compressed changes and maturity that forever altered what would be.

I look back.  The girl that was somehow became the woman that is.  Nothing was planned nor expected, yet each phase flowed into the next with the ebb and flow of pain and joy and sorrow and lust and tears and love of life.  

All those choices made to not remain the same.  Lessons learned.  Truths discovered.  Irretractable evolution wrought.

So much and so little remain, and everything between then and now is impossible to capture—except in the prism of reality that is today.

The moonlight filters through a million memories, sparking their vivid playback.  The pieces of a complicated puzzle that none have witnessed the full assembly have become unexplainable mysteries abandoned for the moment that is now.  In a life so full of twists and turns and here and theres, being known and unknown co-exist in the prism's reflections, offering a blessed sanctuary and freedom.  

It's there that I've found Peace.
~DominaKat

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