The last six months I've been in the process of intentional purging—shedding the physical, mental, and emotional layers that no longer serve me. I've done this before at other key points in my life. This urge often precedes a time of major transformation in my life, each of which has always brought me closer in alignment to my truth and the fulfillment of my needs and desires.
In many ways, I'm a minimalist with a simple life that holds many complicated...nuances. After half a dozen cycles of metamorphosis in my years, what I leave behind now holds little to no emotional, mental, or physical value to me. This round of stripping off the bullshit feels incredibly easy, natural, right. Wholehearted relief. I'm cleansing myself of unnecessary weight, so that I can adapt to the future that is coming for me.
Then comes the acknowledgement of what remains. Previously, I've had to face ugly truths and heal deep wounds that were brought to light. I won't pretend...there is an occasional round of disorientation or unsteadiness as my landscapes begin to shift, but luckily, I have an incredible support system that helps steady me in these moments, so I can gain my footing. Overall though, I'm feeling confidence, clarity, and freer than ever. If folks can be patient with me, I have no doubt the best version of me yet is awakening and rising to the surface.
In the meantime, I need to own and honor where I am today.
What drives me? It's not power or titles or control. It's not money or material wealth. It's not fame or meaningless accolades. It's Love, Passion, and Joy. In all their many, many forms. Love...with a romantic partner, my chosen leather family, my blood family. Passion...vulnerable intimacy, dark and deviantly sexual, the sweet freedom of pain, pure ideals, inspiring ideas. Joy... a breathtaking view, a long midnight drive with the windows down and hands on thighs, a walk along the ocean, a song that hits the perfect chords, to stand naked under a cleansing storm, shared laughter with those who hold pieces of my heart, the tenderness of acceptance and understanding. To hold any of those for a lifetime, a decade, a year, a day, an hour, a fucking moment is a miraculous blessing, and I am grateful for every minute I can bask in Love, Passion, and Joy.
What guides me? Positive energy and truth. The loss or absence of either leaves me lost, stumbling in the dark trying to reset my compass and find the right direction again.
What do I value? Connection; ethics and integrity; authenticity and truth; honor and loyalty; resilience; growth, evolution, and forward momentum; fearlessness; intentionality; Dominance and surrender; hope; a willingness to try and fail and try again; agile thinking; consideration and kindness; being present.
How do center myself? To The Universe's call; alignment of wills with trusted co-conspirators of life; constructive feedback; clear goals and direction; grounding, breath, and meditation; staying true to me.
I don't know where this phase of my journey will lead me. I haven't walked this blindly in my trust with The Universe since I was 20. ~whew~
But in the words of MJB.. Everything is Everything. What is meant to be will be. After winter must come spring. Change It comes eventually.
Let's roll...
~DominaKat
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