I am very slowly learning, attempting, exploring a new service dialect that I know little to nothing about.
Most would think, "No big deal," especially for me. I consistently reach for new information, ideas, points of view to add to my toolbox, especially in the lifestyle through classes, discussions, panels, cons, etc. Those closest to me have graciously poured endless tanker trucks of knowledge, concepts, and skills into me over the years, fueling my Lifestyle Journey as well as my personal and professional paths. I am curious as hell and don't hesitate to find ways to feed my often voracious mind.
But when a romantic interest who would RECEIVE said service is the One instructing and assessing my progress of GIVING service??? Oh...that shit is a completely new experience for me in addition to the subject matter.
There was, of course, the fresh breeze in my mind that always happens when opening up new pathways for growth, but I hadn't considered the nuances of the subtle unexpected energy shifts or their quiet molding effects on me. If I hadn't been paying attention or taken the time post-game to peel back the layers, I might have missed all that fucking magic. And damn...I REALLY love ALL that fucking magic.
Magic...the inherent power shift and handing over of control as He gave me instructions and watched my hands move through the steps.
Magic...my initial-try ineptitude and tiny feeling of awkwardness felt like a little slip into the initial stages of sexy and consensual HDO.
Magic...His patient, kind, straight-forward guidance offered me a safe place to discover and grow.
Magic...His watchful assessment of my actions demonstrated what I was doing mattered to Him.
Magic...the clear Authority reinforcement when He asked, "Are you going to keep talking or are you going to finish what you're doing?" Ooops! hehehe Ooooh...and those words that filled my mouth that I had to swallow...damn another Vegas-sized flashing marquee. A post on that for another day.
Magic...my obedience in following His directions was another sip at the cup of submission and surrender.
Magic...the trust IN Him, vulnerability TO Him, and the intimacy WITH Him as I unguardedly opened my mind (learning), body (being instructed), heart and soul (serving) to Him to feed, nurture, and guide as He desired.
Magic...the sexy, intoxicating, bonding co-creation of building a service opportunity together.
Magic...in seeing Him contentedly consume the results of my service, the completion of the symbiotic energy transfer: my willingness to learn and give >> His willingness to Teach and Receive
Magic...the realization that He respects and trusts me enough to give His time, thoughts, words, and energy to teach me only adds more substance to those moments.
~ BLISSFUL SIGH ~
Yeah...I REALLY love ALL that fucking MAGIC.
I've since been researching details, asking questions of my trusted Tribe, and gaining a better understanding of how to provide this type of service dialect, but none of that work feels anything like that MAGIC I felt with Him.
We don’t get that kind of experience reading product details or watching "How To..." YouTube or TikTok videos. The safe security behind a screen does NOT create intimacy, vulnerability, reliance...bonding with another soul. Co-creation is too often avoided for the sake of pride and efficiency, "I can figure it out on my own," at the cost of investing in moments of connection that inevitably provide a richer, longer-term, more meaningful ROI in the form of trust, human understanding, appreciation/love, and gratitude.
We all could use more of that in our lives.
I only hope that this is the first of many, many opportunities for us to play with and build more of that magic. ")
~DominaKat
Addendum | Short on time/attention span? Feel free to skip this last part.
But when a romantic interest who would RECEIVE said service is the One instructing and assessing my progress of GIVING service??? Oh...that shit is a completely new experience for me in addition to the subject matter.
I am no a spring chicken, so let me clarify. (Because I seriously had to clarify for myself.) I truly have never combined all three factors: +Romantic + Instruction/Learning + Service To
- A long, long time ago in another time, place, life before I understood anything, a vanilla partner once tried to teach me something. It was important to me even though I didn't understand why at the time. (My service heart.) Unfortunately, instead of any type of encouragement, my attempts were weaponized to persecute and use as a form of long-term humiliation and disempowerment.
+ Romantic + Instruction / - Learning - Service - As a result, I only allowed partners to share or build with me new experiences. While I definitely learned many things, I didn't allow them to directly instruct me in any way, nor did I provide a return of service with the knowledge I gained.
+ Romantic - Instruction / + Learning - Service - I have provided previous partners only service(s) I knew and understood well.
+ Romantic - Instruction / - Learning + Service - Like I've said, trusted family and friends have taught me a wealth of shit, and in a few cases I have provided service in return. However, the platonic nature provides a HUGE cushion of emotional safety.
- Romantic + Instruction / + Learning + Service
I know...that was a bit much. lol I had to go DEEP in the fuckin weeds. As I worked on this post, something nagged at me for days that there was an important truth in there I needed to see, understand, and acknowledge.
So...another piece of the magic in me experiencing + Romantic + Instruction / + Learning + Service is that in one of the furthest corners of my soul, a tiny but deep wound finally felt the brush a some healing light, and for that I am once again grateful to The Universe for the path it has placed in front of me.
~DominaKat
Comments
Post a Comment