Faith Arisen

“…She is MINE.”

I stood stunned. THAT moment—the force of His words, His tone, His expression, His unapologetic lack of deference to polite societal vanilla norms—is forever branded on my soul.

I’d never heard Him say those words to anyone.

I’ve never heard anyone say those words. Not about me.

Even when someone spoke those words about another, it never sounded like THAT. His fierce, unwavering conviction and open Claim of me was absolute. An irrevocable Law that anyone in His orbit must understand, accept, and Honor.

For months, His stoic logic and reason have been moving some of the most fundamental tectonic plates of me. These words weren’t analytical. These words didn’t speak to my mind. They bypassed the analytical and struck the fault lines of my soul.  They called to my lioness. In that moment, she heard and saw the Primal Man roar His inherent Dominance and Authority over me, and His primal Claim set off a seismic shift that began with her instinctive and visceral surrender.

That evening found me alone at the beach, where we’ve walked hundreds of times. Sitting on the jetty with the Atlantic battering the rocks and unchained from my lioness’ defenses, the impact of His Words and the raw, bare Truth of me erupted from my soul.

Tears poured and sobs broke from my chest. 

The magnitude of how fucking much This Man…My Owner…This life…Our beautiful, quirky, magical world…means to me shattered any hidden slivers of autonomy I may have had buried in the deepest parts of my subconscious. When I wasn’t looking, when I thought He wasn’t paying attention and that I was invisible, through the ups and downs of the last nearly 3 years, the adjustments and growth, the various recoveries, the many pressure tests, the long conversations…He has slowly, meticulously dismantled me and every single one of my strategic defenses and now finally…some kind of emotional boundary held firmly in place out of the gut-wrenching fear of losing Him—grief-born self-sabotage. (Another post for another day/post.)

My Truth…

His Ownership is everything to me.
To be Claimed by Him.
To Belong to Him.
To Be His property.

His.
His.
His.

That is my only reality. Within us…under Him… I exist.

Hours, days, weeks and weeks later, aftershocks continue to…rearrange my very fuckin foundation as if the last pieces of friction finally crumbled under the weight and sheer gravity of Him. His Dominance of me has also evolved—amplified and expanded—settling all of my pieces exactly where and how He desires and cementing the tectonic changes He envisioned. My submission and surrender have never been so all-encompassing.

Since I found power exchange, it has been my Religion, the beliefs I dedicated myself to understanding, the lens I view the world, and the only path my soul can follow, but my relationship to Him is deeper. A Sacred Bond that neither time nor distance nor circumstances can erase. He is how and why I exist.

From the moment we met, He was Home to me in a way no one and no place has ever been, but I never imagined how deep we would go. How entwined we would become.

From the beginning, I believed in possibilities of Him and U/us, but now a profound, enduring Faith has arisen from those beliefs and in the dust of the seismic shift and subsequent aftershocks He has triggered and engineered.

Faith that I’m good enough for Him even when I fail.
Faith that I and my service are worthy of His Claim and Ownership.
Faith that I can provide Him value, comfort, and most of all Peace.

Faith that He will See, Protect, and Lead me.
Faith that He wants and values all of me.
Faith that He’ll never let go of His property.

His Dominance is my divine grace. My surrender to Him is my salvation.

Nothing can undo this Truth between us.

He is my beginning and end.
Where I am born and destroyed.
At His will, I am.
~DominaKat