In Tatters

-
I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
Post a Comment

Lose Control

-
Music has always fed my soul, but I'm embarrassed to admit how much I've lost touch with it.  The last six months, I've purposely opened myself up again to cultivate its unique love, passion, and joy in my life.  Often it's those closest to me who lead me to tracks that speak so deeply to me.  This one?  Compliments of my sister, Bastet.

~sigh~ From the first line, it gripped me by the throat and said, "Bitch, listen."  The storytelling of a passion without logic or reason that strips any scrap of pride from the soul...left me hypnotized, lost in a memory I can still barely wrap my mind around.  

Only one Man has ever inspired in me this kind of soul-tumbling, pride-bruising complete loss of control.  He's the first to ever bring my lioness fully to the surface under Him, scattering all my logic, all my intentions, all my slick little cute moves...leaving only a primal hungry reasonless beast growling in a heat and lust so complete I couldn't remember my fucking name as I ground down on His dick enraptured.  There...in that moment...I offered a glimpse of my truth I wasn't ready to share and gave a surrender I wasn't prepared to give but always longed to find.  I can't lie...I am at that Man's fucking mercy.  ~sigh~ Fuck me.

Stealing a playbook from one of my Board of Directors, I've altered the lyrics below to better suit my experience, but listen for yourself and see if you can relate...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkOpwodhROI . 
Color change = holy fucking fuck, THAT!

All I know is...when it's like this, ya can't fight it.  It will be what it will be.
~DominaKat

Lose Control | Teddy Swims

Something's got a hold of me lately
No, I don't know myself anymore
Feels like my walls are all fallin down
And the devil's walkin through my door, whoa

Out of my mind, 
How many times
Did I tell you 
I'm no good at waiting for You?

Yeah, it's taking a toll on me,
Trying my best to keep
From tearing the skin off my bones,
Don't you know

I 
Lose
Control
When you're right next to me

I'm falling apart right in front of you,
Can't you see?

I
Lose
Control
When you're right next to me

Yeah, you're stealing my heart, baby
You make a mess of me

Problematic,
problem is I want your body like a fiend,
Like a bad habit
Bad habit's hard to break when I'm with you
Yeah, I know, I could do it on my own
But I want that real full moon black magic and it takes two

Problematic,
Problem is when I'm with you, I'm an addict
And I need some relief,
My skin in your teeth
Can't see the forest through the trees
Got me down on my knees,
Darling please, oh

I 
Lose 
Control
When you're inside of me
I'm falling apart right in front of you, 
Can't you see?

I
Lose 
Control
When you're inside of me
Yeah, you're stealing my heart, baby
You make a mess of me, yeah

I 
Lose 
Control
When you're right here with me
I'm falling apart right in front of you,
Can't you see?

I
Lose 
Control
When you're right here with me, mhm
Yeah, you're stealing my heart, baby
You make a mess of me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DominaKat's Lifestyle Classes I What I Teach & Bio

-
Updated | 05.20.23 CLASS LIST The 12 Goals of S&M: Foundations for Scenecrafting | Class Write Up Fail Fast, Fail Often, Fail Forward: Normalizing (the Reality of) Failure as a Part of Growth in the Lifestyle | Class Write Up - Coming Soon! Note | Session can be tailored toward a focus of BDSM, Authority Transfer, or Leather Community if desired. The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Intro - 90m or Intensive - 3hrs | Class Write Up Day Workshop - 6 hrs | Includes additional guided self-reflection, group discussions, & self-assessment workbook Know Your Service Boundaries: Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore (for BOTH sides of the /) | Class Write Up The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Series Session 1 | The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey for Marginalized Communities within Kink & Leather | Class Write Up Session 2 | Ally~Advocate~Warrior Tactics for Individuals, Organizers, and Groups in Leather & Kink | Class Write Up Follow On/Up |
Read more

CLASS WRITE UP | Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore

-
Title  |  Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore ~a part of the 9 Service Languages curriculum~ Format  | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck, Menti Polling & Group Discussion Duration  | ~ 90m Target Audience  | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced in Service-Oriented Roles little & BIG Letters anyone in service to a partner, relationship, House, organization, event, or the Community at Large Description  | Service—a cornerstone for many who practice Authority Transfer or engage with the Community—is treated almost as social currency within the Lifestyle or even the tithe we offer our beliefs.  However, while we fully support, embrace, and champion S&M Boundaries, little is ever even whispered about Service Boundaries.  This silence is a detriment to the individuals involved as well as to the overall Community.  Most of us can name at least one person who has sacrificed too much in the name of service and face
Read more

CLASS WRITE UP | The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics

-
Image
After two long years, I am FINALLY launching my M/s class—The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics!  Special thanks to the late BlackMusic for sitting through my very early stage versions in the Summer of 2020 to pressure test and debate the concept I was pulling together.  His support and encouragement helped me believe in the idea that refused to fade from my mind.   Note | There will eventually be additional class structures (duration/intensity levels) of this material.  Still working out those options! ") ~DominaKat  Title | The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Format | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck Duration | Intro Class - 90m; Intensive - 180m  Target Audience | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced Description | The number of ways to Serve within an Authority Transfer relationship or dynamic is infinite.  Each one is customized to suit the individuals involved, and with long-standing P/partn
Read more