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Showing posts from February, 2024

Reverence of The Marks & Symbols of Ownership

I spoke of Faith. Now…I’ll kneel to Reverence. Our first date. I stood calmly in His bedroom. Still. Waiting. A lioness’ instinctive understanding short-circuited my usual primal sexual aggression. I knew this man before I knew Him. Though desire and need raged through my veins, my lioness lowered her head in acquiescence to a Power she had known before time began and been searching for this entire lifetime. I waited. Utterly defenseless. To see how He would move. To see what He would want of me. To see which direction He would Lead us. He shifted behind me in the dim light. His first touch. A bold unmistakable Claim. With a deliberate slowness that seemed to last eternity, His fingers dug into my biceps as His teeth sank into my tender flesh where neck meets shoulder. My body gave into His strength. My mind let go of logic. My heart and soul gratefully surrendered to His Demand. I will always feel the echoes of the Marks He gave me in that moment. That was only the beginning. With ...

Primal Surrender

02.13.24 My last post was an attempt to release the frantic need for Him clawing through my mind and soul.  It didn't help much.  I had to drown myself in the intellectual distractions of startup plans instead while I tried in vain to ignore my lioness as she continued to batter against the cage of her reality: vanilla work, doctor's post-dental surgery instructions, a damn Nor'easter.  Finally last night, exhausted, she tucked her tail, curled into a ball, and fell silent and still.   There was no more fight left in her.   There isn't any today either. Again... I don't want to talk to anyone. Hear anyone. See anyone. Touch anyone. My lioness just wants to hide away in her cave.  She doesn't give a fuck about being responsible or being social or the fucking world.   Only He can soothe her and rouse her from her retreat and sleep.  Though tonight she would be hard pressed to summon any of the energy from her last post.  However,...

Visceral Desires

Today is not the day.  I'm not nice.  I'm not even civil.  I can't be polite or even rational. I've somehow managed the last 10 days without a problem.  Then last night, my last conscious thought before I crashed was how much I missed Him in my mouth.  I slept hard and long. This morning, I woke up pissed the fuck off.   I don't want to talk to anyone. Hear anyone. See anyone. Touch anyone. Only He can soothe me. ~whimper~   My desire for Him has overwhelmed me.  The need to have Him shoving into any and all of my holes is visceral.  Primal.  Bordering on fucking violence.  It vibrates in my damn bones and through my mind like an endless jackhammer, pounding away at every shred of control I have left. I want to scream.  Rage.   I want to destroy things.  Tear apart the world.   I need to SUCK. I need to FUCK. Not patiently. Not politely. And sure the fuck NOT gently. I need Him as fucking unci...

Unreasonable State of Mind

My lioness grew restless this evening. Within a couple of hours her agitation only amplified.  I tried to acknowledge her wants, but I simply became more aware of her discomfort. I tried a little talk therapy.  That wasn't enough either. I tried to find peace in sleep, but a nightmare only chased me down like a relentless dog.  When I finally woke, I understood what I had to do. I've learned when the energy shifts, however it shifts, I must trust it, flow with it. Let it lead me—physically, mentally, emotionally—wherever I am meant to go, so I may know or experience whatever deeper truth I am meant to find. To fight its current only makes shit harder and wastes time. I must surrender to its demand. Acknowledging her state wasn't enough. I needed to own her truth. This...is me owning my truth. This...is my surrender. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's been less than 18 hours since I was last in His arms, against His heat, the taste of His flesh on my tongue, the sound ...