Fire & Ice

Several times the last week I ran into this topic, and it stayed at the top of my mind all last weekend as I struggled to wrap my arms around my next steps forward in my growth and evolution. The "lifestyle."  This thing that I do.  This idea, activities, community that I probably give half of my free time to isn't a simply a little hobby for me.  Or a frivolous pastime. This is... My church. My religion. My chosen set of ideals and frameworks that resonate at the base of my soul where I begin. So long ago as a young teenager, the concepts of Dominance and submission, of service, obedience, of passion and intensity beyond orgasm...they were all just...there.  It wasn't like I had a D/s relationship model I looked up to or a culture norm of male Dominance ingrained into me.  Power/Authority exchange - even with my many feminist standards - was simply the prism through which I viewed life and relationships.  I didn't have words or structures or tangible con

Dear 2019 ~ I just said goodbye to your sibling 2018.  She was pretty damn good to me even though she threw a number of challenges my way that I overcame or at the very least survived with only a few scrapes.  I was blessed with many mind-blowing sexy adventures that confirmed much I'd suspected.  She also taught me patience and gave me the opportunity to look inside myself for peace and inspiration.  I was blessed in many, many ways.  However, it wasn't enough.  I'm greedy like that. With much love and affection, I say this.  I'm gonna kick your ass, 2019.  A year from now, I want you to look at me and say, "Bitch, you wore me the fuck out, but damn...we had a helluva good time!"  I'm gonna wring every ounce of opportunity and positive energy I can get from you.  I plan to have laugh lines, sore abs, and maybe even some bruises from taking in so much sheer joy, passion, and adventure.  You already see the plans tumbling around in my head so don't

It's late.  My ass should be in bed snoring, yet I find myself too wired to cozy up in my nest.  Tonight feels like an unexpected milestone for myself.  Out of the blue I was asked to join a community event as a panelist.  I was flattered of course, but quite cognizant that while I've been involved in the lifestyle for about nine years now and have been thoughtful and introspective of my journey, I'm not what anyone would consider some wildly experienced kinkster who's spent every weekend doing more and more intense kinkiness. No, surprise...surprise...I haven't run around jumping on every type of ride available in Kink-Topia.  I don't chase the dragon. That isn't the important part of the journey for me.  What is important for me is that I find meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in what it is that I do.  In that...I am a serious participant.  Every day I seek to take another step in my journey of self-discovery within the lifestyle. Throughout the last

What the fucking FUCK?!?  STOP! Unless you are somehow DIRECTLY involved with the participants currently embroiled in the various NYC incidences, I fucking BEG you to pull yourself out of the ugly nasty turbulent river of conflict, pain, disappointment, and angst that is the Fet feed for a day...just a day.  Take a few cleansing breaths, and fucking see, remember, and EMBRACE the reality that this drama is NOT ALL there is to the NYC Kink Community!!! A FEW nasty narcissistic abusers have been called out for years of chronic monstrous behavior that happened for the most part...WITHIN their D/s relationships - a FEW.  The horror that was experienced by these dozen or so submissives should NOT get to replace the... BEAUTY. FUN. FRIENDSHIP. SEXINESS. LEARNING. COMPASSION. UNDERSTANDING. SUPPORT. ENCOURAGEMENT. DELIGHT. and sheer fucking JOY... That the other THOUSAND(s) OF US (tens of thousands over the last decade) have come together and shared with each other at munche