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The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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SELF 2023 Session Handouts

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  Intro to 9 Service Languages Session Service Languages/Dialects Handout External Resources/Books Link The 12 Goals of S&M 
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Instincts of a Lioness

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As night creeps in, I can sense the world crawling toward me to rupture the only reality I want to embrace.  Let the fucking world burn.  I have no use for it anymore.  Don't tell a Lioness to be reasonable.  My only reason is instinct.  I know where I belong now.    My heart races with memories of Him, and I growl softly.  In need?  In lust?  In understanding?  In truth.  This cannot be undone.  All of me is present.  Fully.  Tomorrow is irrelevant.  So are the damn details.  Only now.  This moment. This...beginning.  Matters.  I regret nothing, and I have no time or patience or desire to reassure anyone or anything.  Even myself.  Instinct calls. I stroked and clawed at His beautiful frame for hours.  I drank in His scent.  I lapped, sucked, and swallowed His taste.  Shivers flutter down my spine as I relive His fierce control and such total consumption that I c...
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Adventures in Online Dating | Post #1: The Art of Peopling

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After spending years (pandemic) getting seriously reacquainted with my Introvert and enabling my Service Whore to over-extend herself beyond fucking reason, I'm trying to reconnect to the mysterious art of peopling.   I had no choice but to face up to the reality that my peopling skills are rusty as fuck when at SPLF I was stunned into confused silence from a basic personal question during a first in-person intro.  If they had asked about any number of service projects or classes, I could have easily rattled off dialog.  But a simple, polite "You fascinate me.  Tell me about yourself," slammed my thought processes from Fourth into Reverse, grinding gears and causing significant damage to my mental transmission.  Later reflection...I need to practice more personal engagements. It's time to transition fully outta Pandemic Mode and feed other pieces of me besides my Introvert and Service Whore.  Note:  Introvert resents and rebels against this effort...
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DominaKat's Lifestyle Classes I What I Teach & Bio

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Updated | 05.20.23 CLASS LIST The 12 Goals of S&M: Foundations for Scenecrafting | Class Write Up Fail Fast, Fail Often, Fail Forward: Normalizing (the Reality of) Failure as a Part of Growth in the Lifestyle | Class Write Up - Coming Soon! Note | Session can be tailored toward a focus of BDSM, Authority Transfer, or Leather Community if desired. The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Intro - 90m or Intensive - 3hrs | Class Write Up Day Workshop - 6 hrs | Includes additional guided self-reflection, group discussions, & self-assessment workbook Know Your Service Boundaries: Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore (for BOTH sides of the /) | Class Write Up The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Series Session 1 | The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey for Marginalized Communities within Kink & Leather | Class Write Up Session 2 | Ally~Advocate~Warrior Tactics for Individuals, Organizers, and Groups in Leather & Kink | Class Write Up Follo...
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A Friend Date with a Sadist

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Post-pandemic, my masochist has been a shadow in the recesses of my soul.  Like other pieces of me, she has been turned off...disconnected...off-fuckin-line.  The most delightful aspects of my journey had been abandoned to the weight of social chaos, service commitments, and dearth of male Dominant energy.  But here I was eagerly getting in a truck with my favorite creative Sadist—where there would be no exit and little room to maneuver.  My anxiety started well before that first hug.  I had no idea how I would cope with or process any bits of his Sadism in my masochist's absence.  Knowing the pain would come at some point felt like standing on a high dive about to jump into an ice cold pool on a hot humid day.  You look down a little disoriented, wondering how the hell you got up there, dreading how much it's gonna suck but hoping like crazy it will refresh your mind, body, and spirit. It so sucked. lol He graciously gave me a few miles that we filled...
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CLASS WRITE UP | Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore

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Title  |  Know Your Service Boundaries (for BOTH sides of the /) | Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore ~a part of the 9 Service Languages curriculum~ Format  | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck, Menti Polling & Group Discussion Duration  | ~ 90m Target Audience  | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced in Service-Oriented Roles little & BIG Letters anyone in service to a partner, relationship, House, organization, event, or the Community at Large Description  | Service—a cornerstone for many who practice Authority Transfer or engage with the Community—is treated almost as social currency within the Lifestyle or even the tithe we offer our beliefs.  However, while we fully support, embrace, and champion S&M Boundaries, little is ever even whispered about Service Boundaries.  This silence is a detriment to the individuals involved as well as to the overall Community.  Most of us can name at least one person who has sacrifi...
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An Update | Resignation from LSC

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If I've learned anything the last year, it's how some folks will choose to run their mouth without a lick of common sense or truth, so I prefer to embrace as much transparency as appropriate in an effort to minimize any self-service spin/narrative others may attempt.  However, I do recognize that they're gonna talk shit regardless.  LOL I had hoped Spring would simply allow me the opportunity to decrease my hours in service to the community a bit, but unfortunately matters have taken a different turn.  Despite my FIERCE belief in the mission and efforts of The Leather Solidarity Collective (LSC) and the incredible success LSC had at our historic collaboration with South Plains LeatherFest, it is with profound sadness that I discontinued my service and resigned yesterday (04.07.23) from LSC due to a conflict of interest not of my making. This has been a difficult and painful decision.  Loyalty, commitment, and advocating for the BIPOC Community are a few of my core va...
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