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The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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Laundry Service Revelations

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Shit. I folded his clothes. I’m not joking. I got within two feet of that soft warm heap of pants, shirts, tees, briefs, and socks, and my hands instinctively dove in like I’d done this for him a thousand times before.  Zero hesitation.  I paused briefly in shaking out a shirt to ask a quick question on preference and kept right on serving...In sheer fuckin bliss. SMH. Context...I haven’t folded a man’s clothes in over seven years. Hell, I don’t even fold my own clothes.  NYC's relationship with laundry is a bit different than most of this country's.  Between no in-apartment appliances and a sucky commute that eats an entire functional day a week, it’s NYC drop off service for me, please and thank you.  However, it's more than just practicalities responsible for the seven year hiatus, and there is a significance within my simple actions that I can’t ignore. Truth | I essentially have a long-established hard limit: Unless there is an emergency, urgent need, o...
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The Primal Bitch None of You Warned Me About

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*** Drafted 11.21.23 *** Fuuuuuuuck...why didn't ANY of you warn me? Like...REALLY??? How many times have we sat together through classes, discussions, panels, round tables?  Yet NOT ONE of you mother fuckers said a damn thing about how this shit really might go down. Grrrrrrr... You ALL suck and officially can no longer be trusted.   She's been a part of me for so long.  She's guided me.  She's empowered me.  She's protected me. I thought I understood her. I thought I knew her. I thought I could anticipate her. But...this??? Fuuuuck…This is new fuckin territory, one I don't have a damn clue how to navigate, and if I'm honest, a part of me DOESN'T want to navigate it.  I just want to lose myself again and again to it.  To her.  To Him.   ~GROAN~ She just slips in and... Takes. Fucking. OVER! Again...you fuckers NEVER discussed THIS shit. That I wouldn't be...COULDN'T be... Rational. Reasonable. Thoughtful. Considerate. IN FUCKIN ...
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ONYX Pearls NY-NE | Rededication

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Yesterday, ONYX Pearls NY-NE celebrated our 7th Anniversary, and I recognized four years since crossing into Leather.  It was a beautiful afternoon of celebrating our kaleidoscope of personalities and the connections we have forged through joy, laughter, tears, fire, personal growth, and leather during our journey.   As a key part of our ceremony, we collectively rededicated ourselves to The Chapter by retaking our oath and were asked to share of few thoughts about our individual experiences and most importantly our Why.  The below reflects the words I shared yesterday with my sisters and siblings.   However, I would be remiss in this more personal reflection if I did not call out two Sisters who have quite frankly altered the course of my life.  From the moment I met each of these amazing women, I was drawn to them.  Their energy instinctually spoke to me, and we have since woven bonds of Sisterhood that reach deep into my body, mind, heart and s...
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Before I Rise

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I am tired.  The last few weeks—hell, the last few months—have cracked open my shell, crumbled walls, unlocked doors, and shed light on new untraveled paths.   At the moment, I am fucking raw.  Like a newborn whose skin is soft and tender and delicate. The only thing I want. The only thing I need. The only thing my instincts scream for... Is to kneel quietly, rest my head at the feet, and utterly surrender to an Owner's hand in my hair and grip at the back of my neck. Tomorrow, my lioness will rise once more, but tonight...that would be everything. ~DominaKat
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To Own Me | An Answer to My Critics

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I'm too independent... I'm too intense... I'm too deep... To be on the right side of the slash? No problem.  Because I'm not – nor will I ever be – your fucking problem. I fully acknowledge that I am all the things my many critics have accused me of, and I apologize for none of it.  I can be nothing but my authentic self, and I refuse to restrain myself or be less, so others can be more comfortable with who I am or how I identify.  Fuck you for thinking I should.   I am a V12. The Man who chooses to Own me will be able to...        Race the shadows of the night.      Hug the curves life throws us like we're on rails.      Rocket us in any the direction He seeks. I am a Lioness. The Man who dares to Own me will have...      A fierce protector at His side.      An apex predator to hunt the world with Him.      A primal beast under Him to sate His wickedest desires. ...
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Lifestyle Class List

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 Updated | 05.20.23 CLASS LIST The 12 Goals of S&M: Foundations for Scenecrafting  |  Class Write Up Fail Fast, Fail Often, Fail Forward: Normalizing (the Reality of) Failure as a Part of Growth in the Lifestyle   | Class Write Up - Coming Soon! Note | Session can be tailored toward a focus of BDSM, Authority Transfer, or Leather Community if desired. The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Intro - 90m or Intensive - 3hrs |  Class Write Up Day Workshop - 6 hrs | Includes additional guided self-reflection, group discussions, & self-assessment workbook Know Your Service Boundaries: Lessons from the Trenches of a Service Whore (for BOTH sides of the /) |  Class Write Up The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Series Session 1 | The Ally~Advocate~Warrior Journey for Marginalized Communities within Kink & Leather |  Class Write Up Session 2 | Ally~Advocate~Warrior Tactics for Individuals, Organizers, and Groups in ...
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Location: New York, NY, USA
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The Deep Chasm of My Moat

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I was discussing...ehhh...maybe more like light debating the value and challenges that may arise in having a personal Board of Directors while exploring Authority Transfer.  It was a fascinating conversation.   However, this morning I found a point I didn't have at the time.  A single text.  A simple sentence.  Great news that brought me to my knees in tears and release from a worry I hadn't realized I still carried. And there was no one to turn to.   In that moment, Kat wanted to surrender all her joy and relief to an Owner who would just gather her up, hold her, and stroke her hair, understanding the significance and all the compounded nuances from many different directions.  I would have sobbed messy snot-bubble tears into His shirt and simply felt His unrelenting strength and compassion in return.  Only He would see and have me in my truest form—completely raw, unfiltered, unguarded. It's not that I won't absolutely share the great n...
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