Posts

In Tatters

-
I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
Post a Comment
Read more

Calm Cool Delivery of Pain

-
We'd barely said more than hello, but His dick had brushed the back of my hand in the elevator and was rock hard and hungry. If we'd been alone for more than one floor it may have been in my mouth. It had been nearly two weeks since we'd seen each other and three since we'd been alone. The door shut easily, and instantly His mood subtly shifted. In less than thirty seconds the flogger was in His hand. "Get on the bed on all fours, and don't move," he said simply. His tone - so practical and neutral - gave little warning about what might come, but His intent was sharp and focused. At the moment I was His single desire, and I had His complete attention. My brows lifted in curiosity, and with no questions I obeyed. Knees together. My ankles tight at the fall of the bed. My palms pressing into the soft silky texture of my grey top throw. I waited without any expectation. At some point - I don't know when, though I understand why - I gave up anticipating H
Post a Comment
Read more

Passion, Pain, and Pride

-
No,  I won't. I will not chase the wind in vain. The wind must come, seek, and embrace me.  And I will gratefully accept and submit to His force of nature. We disagreed on tactic, yet He couldn't deny what my logic had determined the outcome was likely to be. He looked at me. Truly looked at me. A rare pause. Not clouded with lust or desire. He saw what had been there since the moment we'd met. "You're a proud woman." I didn't know how to respond. I've had more than a week to consider His observation. I can not deny that truth.  I am proud.  I doubt He'd want me if I wasn't. He desired a proud lioness not a quivering timid lamb.  I warned Him as I have everyone before...I am...complicated. Yet...oh so very simple as well. I know. More than ever. The wealth I have to give. My fierce passion. My sweet pain. My unselfish love. My utter devotion. I will not waste myself on careless, short-sighted fools
Post a Comment
Read more

That Urge to Lean Into Him

-
You know that unconscious lean you make when you're ready to take a step forward? I feel that in my soul.  That lean toward Him.  The desire to take that next step. I'm happy tonight.  Enthusiastic almost.  A good productive day topped with a great evening of kinship and laughter.  The urge to share that with Him is palpable, and I smile.  Ahhhh...such a tell.  That distinct tug of that emotional submission. I share my_self with very, very few.  It is the way I am wired, what I have learned to expect, and a method of self-defense.  I may be in long conversations or intricately involved with those I serve or love dear, but in truth...little of the dialog revolves around me...my...self.  Very, very little.  I listen.  I give information, advice, feedback, points of view, ideas to consider, safe harbor.  I do my best not to bore anyone - let alone a Man - with the miniscule details of my life.  I rarely ramble about my day to others as for the most part...it's irrelevant t
Post a Comment
Read more

Vicious Wild Things

-
I obeyed, but I didn't submit. I swallowed His pain, but I didn't surrender. I took His dick, but I didn't hide my own strength and power. On my knees at the edge of the bed, my ass and pussy His to claim once again. After His most vicious flogging yet, which morphed me into a black hole of spinning bliss until each lash radiated that sweet painless joy that only a masochist can embrace, He seized hold of my hips and sank into me. Again and again He drove deeper, harder, crueler.  Fuck yes.  That's what I wanted.  What I needed.  I didn't want mercy or sweet words. I needed His fierce greedy demand for what was His. My starved cunt sucked and fisted Him. I came on His dick more times than I can remember.  "Come for me." Echoed off the walls.  Face down as my fists clenched the blanket, I gladly took what He forced through my tender folds into my desperate hungry pussy. He fed His lioness what she desired most.  The crudest most elemental offeri
Post a Comment
Read more

Sliced Open...Lick My Sins

-
It's rare that I have the bandwidth to write any more, let alone post a finished piece.  It's rarer still that I'm inspired not to give a fuck and simply write to slice myself open unapologetically and spill out the truth of the moment. I'm still learning.  I'm still trying to understand Him.  I know I like that mood He gets in when He believes I might be a handful.  He's harder then.  He's colder then.  He's more precise and demanding.  He's more committed to hurting me then.  And my masochists licks up that pain like a kitten to cream. I am not the same submissive, masochist, s-whatever I once was.  The layers are more separated.  The pieces of me more demanding with sharper borders that don't HAVE to co-exist.  In between each lies the soul of a lioness waiting, watching, wondering. He hurt me. I found a sliver of peace. He fucked me. I found pleasure. I sucked Him. And I sucked Him. I found a whore's reward. His different mo
1 comment
Read more

Acceptance and My Pillars for Poly

-
I'm a dumbass. No, really. I am at times. It's embarrassing as fuck. I'm a very intelligent, self-aware woman, so when I follow down an intellectual path and can't see the extremely obvious or suddenly become aware of the very obvious boulder marking my path, it's like "DUH!" ~sigh~ Clark, my sherpa, has a frightening and arcane ability to bring out these "Dings" moments, but this one he didn't initiate, surprisingly. No...I've just been leaning up against this big ass boulder for a while now, and a about a month ago I finally intellectually realized it was there. SMH. I am not polyamorous. Well known and established. I can't love more than one Man at a time. I lack the capacity to manage multiple intimate simultaneous relationships. For better or worse, I am genuinely emotionally, mentally, physically (with some D-directed caveats) monogamous. An Ownership M/s is a great fit for me. However, I am very able to navigat
Post a Comment
Read more

Just Fucking More

-
I step forward. I no longer stand still and wait for the world to catch up with me. I don't look back trying to make yesterday something it wasn't. It was only what it was, and I learned my lessons well. While much of me remains consistent throughout time, I am more today than I was then, then, then, or then. So much fucking more. Stronger, faster, kinder, softer, tougher, bigger, bolder, happier, sweeter, sexier, more confident, more powerful, more beautiful. Just. Fucking. More.  And tomorrow...I'll be even more yet. I've been held back again and again for years by those that didn't want to make the most of what was in front of them. Fuck that. No more. Never again. I quit being less for fragile egos a while ago. Now for the first time in my life I'm being fed a fucking feast and given the opportunity and freedom to fly high and proud. I have full support and encouragement in front of me, intentionally asking "What do you want?" and not just playing
Post a Comment
Read more