Fire & Ice

It's been less than 36 hours since leaving TES Fest 2022. For every amazing person who has messaged me, friended me, commented on something I shared...please bare with me for the next 5-7 days... I was back to my 9 to 5 vanilla job Tuesday am, which leaves me with limited time. My mind is still a whirlwind of amazing shit I need to process and express. That blizzard of thought has left me below standard logic and brainwave wise, and I do not want to do you a disservice by being a fucking airhead! smh... more water...more veggies...more sleep. My body is still recovering. Even my fucking hands ache! SMH...I'm self-masochist-ing just by typing! More Advil...more sleep...more veggies. Aside from my own self-care, my post-con priorities are checking on those closest to me regarding con drop, anyone I Topped, anyone I've offered aftercare from their other scenes, as well as reassuring vanilla family who got a little worried that I was harder to reach than usual. lol I prom

Today, under an absolutely beautiful breezy blue sky, was my first foray back to in-person Leather and Kink since COVID slammed NYC into a bleak lockdown of rampant illness and death.  Yeah...my return has been slow as fuck.  Sorry not sorry...I lost all faith the last 2+ years that humanity held a basic foundation of common fucking sense.  Humans are humans and they'll do what they want not necessarily what they should.  However, the world is different now, the numbers are down, and the heat index was low, so I'm easing my way back into the flow of humanity on my terms.   As I laid in my bed this morning contemplating those terms and my day, a gradual dawning of RE-awareness crept over me...all the fucking things that go into going to a community event.  SMH.  Fuck...I'd forgotten!  The clothes.  The leather.  The implements.  The EFFORT!  But at the last minute I pulled my shit together and stepped out without embarrassing myself or my Chapter.   On my Uber drive with a s

It's launched.  After two long years, The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics !  This concept came over me in the Spring of 2020 in the middle of the initial NYC COVID outbreak and REFUSED to slip into the lost files of my mind.  When I previewed my very rough ugly concept outline a few weeks later to each of my personal Board of Directors, my first questions were "Who's already put this idea together?  Who's already written this book?"  All of them laughed and said, "No one.  I've never seen Service put out there like this.  I guess you need to be the one."  My fate was sealed.   The concept persisted even when I was overwhelmed with grief at the deep loss of my close friend and Member of my Board of Directors, through the brutal workload that was UPRISE! 2021, while handling needs of my closest family, and as I did my best to dodge the numerous COVID surges that plague our communities.  However, for much of the la

It's 3:00am on a warm Spring night in NYC.  The city and its inhabitants have dozed off, gaining strength for tomorrow's usual urban push and shove.  I should be asleep.  I wish I was asleep, but for the first time in a long time, the need to surrender dogs my soul.  It's fucking ironic that the toughest moments of being unowned always seem to be after I've been in Top Space.  How fucking cliche and stereotypical is that?  ~augh~ Anyone who knows me understands those are two adjective rarely applicable to me, but it is what it is. No, I didn't beat anyone's ass, but tonight I test drove another class. the one I was most unsure of concept wise—The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics.   It was a LOT of fucking content, but the concept seems to have resonated well with the handful of seasoned M/s veterans I tested my theory with tonight.   The Top Space energy combined with the vibe of success has left me humming.  I've meditated. 

After two long years, I am FINALLY launching my M/s class—The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics!  Special thanks to the late BlackMusic for sitting through my very early stage versions in the Summer of 2020 to pressure test and debate the concept I was pulling together.  His support and encouragement helped me believe in the idea that refused to fade from my mind.   Note | There will eventually be additional class structures (duration/intensity levels) of this material.  Still working out those options! ") ~DominaKat  Title | The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships & Dynamics Format | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck Duration | Intro Class - 90m; Intensive - 180m  Target Audience | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced Description | The number of ways to Serve within an Authority Transfer relationship or dynamic is infinite.  Each one is customized to suit the individuals involved, and with long-standing P/partn

It's official!  My first class!  Sincerest GRATITUDE and THANKS to the late BlackMusic, Mr. CunningLinguist (aka Sherpa), and the regulars at S&M.NYC for so many amazing discussions, debates, and knowledge sharing.  The conversations over the years coupled with my incessant need to organize ideas brought this vision to life! ~DominaKat Title | The 12 Goals of S&M Scenes: Foundations for Scenecrafting Format | Lecture-Based Presentation with Slide Deck Duration | 90-120m (w/Q&A) Target Audience | Beginner-Intermediate-Advanced Description | Besides...Ever finish a scene and feel like it didn't quite scratch your itch? Too often kink classes focus on the badass tools and technical skills of S&M. This session moves beyond the “how” and “with what” to explore the 12 most common Goals of S&M Scenes and provides both Sadists and Masochists with a framework to better negotiate, communicate, and achieve mutually successful play. The goals’ potential impact t

Anyone who knows me or has been in a class/discussion/panel/meeting with me knows I have something to say about 85% of the time.  I don't speak from ego or for attention.  I'm an idealist, so the ideas and discussion are my focus and where I find my passion.  Seriously...I can get wet from conference sessions .  ~eye roll~  I'm weird.  I know.  My point is...the learning, discussing, knowledge sharing is my zen! While I try not to speak unless my comments, thoughts, or ideas have relevance to the discussion, the value of my words is always subjective to the listener, and since my attention is trained on the presentation or discussion at hand, I'm usually oblivious to whether my words resonate to people.  This is pretty much the case with my writings as well.  I don't write for an audience.  I write to unpack, sort through, and assemble the puzzle pieces in my mind.   Over time as I've attended community events and even created and/or hosted my own events, I star