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Showing posts from April, 2019

The 9 Service Languages | Intensive Session Wrap Up Thoughts

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On Sunday, I wrapped up my first small group FULL INTENSIVE workshop that spanned 6+ hours over the course of 2 days. Anyone who has sat through my Intro class knows, The 9 Service Languages is a fucking BIG IDEA! When I first launched my class, I naively believed it could be tackled in a typical 90-minute or 2-hour session. I quickly learned that was impossible and that few platforms (cons, orgs, mtgs) had the ability to hold space for me and attendees to get DEEP in the weeds of WIITWD as it relates to Service. I am PROFOUNDLY HONORED that @S-O-C—the Service Oriented Conference—reached out to me earlier this year to be a part of their inaugural Intensive Program. They were the perfect partner with the perfect target audience for an Intensive of The 9 Service Languages of Authority Transfer Relationships/Dynamics. The session allowed me to work with a small group as we got our hands dirty, dissecting where, when, how, and why we do Service and considered ways to adjust, tweak, evol...
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Owner Privileges

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We have a lot of labels for those we engage with:  play partner, lover, Top, bottom, baby girl, Daddy, brother, sister, toy, Dom, sub....  Our relationships are sometimes complicated, often nuanced, but almost always meaningful.  For me there is no greater relationship/title than Owner. Even though I am unOwned and struggling right now in my peace with and trust in my submission, I can't deny M/s is - will always be -  my sacred .  The Owner's throne may be currently empty, but I still honor that role that a Man may eventually take in my life. Over time and experience, I've come to understand how rare it is to find someone willing and ABLE to take on the responsibilities of my Ownership.  Yes, there are a myriad of delightful sexy benefits He will have the right to indulge in at will, and many find those possibilities appealing.  However, what differentiates an Owner from a play partner, lover, Dominant is His desire and follow through to be an act...
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POLY | Is Poly's Growing Popularity a Product of Women's Equality?

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Gotta love NYC Munches.  The conversation is damn near ALWAYS intriguing.  Rarely does it dwelling in the arena of mundate chit chat.  A few of us were discussing the idea that poly will become the next groundbreaking cultural norm now that LGBTQ has made so much progress.   By no means am I implying that the fight for LGBTQ rights has been fully won.  However, for a majority of the Millennial and Gen Z generation non-hetero sexuality is way more acceptable than it was when I was in my twenties. For these younger generations who are putting off traditional family structures of marriage and children, we were thinking that they may be the ones to usher in more cultural acceptance of poly dynamics.  With that and some of the discussion points our group had mentioned about the unspoken historical acceptance of non-monogamy, especially for men, I began to wonder how much of a relationship exists between cultural acceptance and practice of poly relationships a...
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Poly: A Relationship in a Box?

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This is a follow up to my previous post:   The Debate of Poly Goals . *** Disclaimers and Clarifications Up Front *** No, I don't at ALL believe poly is done one way.  Nothing in the realm of kinky relationships is ever done in one uniform way.  I also understand that not every poly situation has a hierarchy, but many do, especially in my peer group.  It's my reality, and I need to find the best strategies for me.  (There's the door if that doesn't sit well with you.)  I sincerely seek others' examples and insights.   With knowledge and understanding, I hope to make informed decisions/choices.  I often feel as if I'm lacking the right words to communicate well or that I have a practical vision on what is possible or not possible.  With continued conversations I hope to change that.  Now...on with the mayhem and mischief.  ") Based on various sessions of recent feedback, I continue to get the distinct impression that in...
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When Animals Prey in Darkness

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A few nights ago a friend informed me April was National Poetry Month.  Luckily, I happen to find a little inspiration... My hand seizes. His stiff hungry flesh. Its weight beckons. I arch my back. With the need of sin. Crawling along my skin. My legs spread. The heat of me slips. From shy folds. And dark secrets. I am drunk. With a wretched desire. That has only one cure. Darkness. The bands of submission. No longer constain me. Or define me. Aggressive. Nasty. Depraved. Only my primal remains. I stroke. Him. Myself. My animal stalks. The demanding pound of his flesh. Between my greedy thighs. Our vicious feral lust unleashed. We have only just begun. To sate our wild beasts. Yet I promise. I will scratch my name.  On the walls of his soul tonight. As I bath in his cum. ~DominaKat Hopefully my contribution proved adequate.  ") ...
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Bitch, Can You Just Get in a Damn Box?!?

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Fuck the fuck out of me...why can't anything ever be simple with me?  ~sigh~  A few weeks ago, I traumatized myself by reading a few fascinating blog posts on various types of sexuality.  I've been shocked to discover over the last month or so that despite absolutely LOVING sex, on some level I fall on the asexual scale!  Wow.  No...really...WOW! Apparently I'm a sapiosexual -leaning demisexual reciprosexual who becomes hypersexual .  ~sigh~  It seems I can't just get in a single simple box that folks can easily identify with.  Nope...I'm more like a damn reverse matryoshka doll where each entry point leads to the possibility of something much, much greater.  SMH. 1. Sapiosexual Neurosexual  - Getting my attention is not tied to being a card carrying Mensa membership.  I could care less if you were the smartest guy in the room.  I'm not an intellectual snob.  For me, it's more how you think, what you think,...
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