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In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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The Second - Often Missed - Part to Unconditional Love

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I caught a post a few months ago that brought up Unconditional Love as it relates to various kinky dynamics.  It was almost a side note to writer's bigger relationship challenge, but since reading the piece, I've gone back again again in my mind to the idea of Unconditional Love.  What keeps nagging at me is the part everyone skipped over in their haste to debate if that kind of love even existed. Yes, I believe some people do experience Unconditional Love toward their partner.  For better or worse, I've been one of them a time or two.  Not everyone feels love that way, and that's okay.  Love comes in many different forms, and while Unconditional Love is a beautiful thing, it can be exhausting and heartbreaking as well. However, there's an important second part to Unconditional Love that is often left unsaid, gone unseen, or flat out ignored. Unconditional Love does NOT equal Unconditional Relationship. Those are two extremely different things, and I'd a
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Poly Question List: My Search for Answers & Understanding

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Dear 2019

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Dear 2019 ~ I just said goodbye to your sibling 2018.  She was pretty damn good to me even though she threw a number of challenges my way that I overcame or at the very least survived with only a few scrapes.  I was blessed with many mind-blowing sexy adventures that confirmed much I'd suspected.  She also taught me patience and gave me the opportunity to look inside myself for peace and inspiration.  I was blessed in many, many ways.  However, it wasn't enough.  I'm greedy like that. With much love and affection, I say this.  I'm gonna kick your ass, 2019.  A year from now, I want you to look at me and say, "Bitch, you wore me the fuck out, but damn...we had a helluva good time!"  I'm gonna wring every ounce of opportunity and positive energy I can get from you.  I plan to have laugh lines, sore abs, and maybe even some bruises from taking in so much sheer joy, passion, and adventure.  You already see the plans tumbling around in my head so don't
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Blessings & Goals

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Days left.  Like most, I'm reflecting on My Journey Through the Dark this year and setting my sights on goals for next.  2018 had its challenges, but it was good to me in many, many ways even if it didn't go quite the way I'd hoped. I'm most grateful for the many fantastic relationships that have blossomed in my life - truly my greatest blessing this year.  Too many to people to name and that's not what this post is about, but they know who they are.  Each one has enhanced my perspective on my various roles and fed my soul.  Their positive energy, authentic feedback, and avid openness to discussions and debates have given me much to consider.  I appreciate their willingness to both challenge and inspire me and look forward to much more ahead! I also had the opportunity to contribute in several small ways to my local community, a theme I hope to continue and expand upon in the future.  I was hesitant.  So many others know so much more than I do, but I'm gain
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A Lil M/s Magic for Those Still Interested in Kinky Fun

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I couldn't read another bitch session/rant on Fet.  WTF people?!?  Does anyone anymore even think about the magic of what it is we do?  Or is your hunger only really about seeking out and destroying some invisible online enemy? ~smh~ Some snippets for those who are hungry for beautiful moments. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ His hand settled on my inner thigh.  I marveled at how natural it felt.  I hadn't been touched in years, yet nothing in me seemed alarmed or even in overdrive at His familiarity.  It was almost as if I'd been waiting forever...for Him.  I looked up into His warm eyes and wondered...who are you? "Listen.  This is what I want.  I want to Own you..." I blinked, but it wasn't a dream. "I want to Own you..." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The second I felt the touch I'd opened my eyes to search for Him.  He'd been right there next to me. "It's okay."  A dark submission I'd never felt before devoured me whole in an instant.  He'd
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That Old Relic - Honor

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In a world consumed by instant gratification, which is the new norm...no...the new God, sadly concepts such as Honor have become vague relics of the past, echoed only by ghosts and eulogies of heroes.  Maybe this is where the hopeless romantic in me sticks out like a prickly cactus in a deep bed of used instant scratch off tickets, but Honor is still very much a part of my DNA. I don't brag or blow smoke up anyone's ass.  Why?  They'd find out soon enough that I was full of shit.  How embarrassing would that be???  Plus I've never been able to find logic in lies and pompous nonsense.  The first time MasterKwesi met one of my friends, he shook her hand and said, "Wow...she's amazing.  She's one of the few people that says she's about x and then actually is x."  I was a bit stunned for a moment that he was impressed by just basic honesty, but my Honorable genes run deeper. I do my best to Honor the agreements I make - even if I've made a mi
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Metamours & Me

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I can't tell you how many posts have been in my feed or discussions have happened around me about metamours the last week.  Maybe it's time I laid out my own thoughts... Dear Men~ Hi, before we begin, let’s have a quick, very frank conversation. Whether you just want to be friends or you’re interested in casual play or if you’re hoping for something serious and long term with me, look around you and be very very honest with yourself about your situation. If your woman/women is/are insecure in ANY way, please keep it moving. I am 46 years old, and I have had my FILL of insecure women.  Not once in my life have I ever had a positive experience with any of my metamours or even the wife/lover/girlfriend of other males I've been friends with or connected to at one point or another.  Seriously. I’m not joking.  Look behind me…in the shadows…there…there…there, back there. Yeah…crazy, isn’t it? There’s literally probably a good dozen angry, bitter, frumpy, grouchy wart
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