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Showing posts with the label M/s

In Tatters

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I knelt at His feet in the utter mess I’d made. My struggle to succeed was stark. No one had ever seen me so disheveled…in such embarrassing circumstances. As He cleaned me up for the second time two minutes, I looked up to meet His steady gaze and tried to gauge his reaction. Disgust at another disastrous, completely unimpressive act of service? Frustrated at my inability to get it together? Sadistically amused at another ridiculous unglamorous predicament I’d once again found myself in? I knew he was taking in every fucking minute detail of the wreck before Him and squirreling it away in the vault of His mind, but what did He feel? His stoic expression offered me no hint. Without comment He stood firm in front of me. Fuckin unwavering. He hadn’t walked away. He hadn’t stepped back. I swear He may have even leaned in. As soon as I’d semi-collected myself, I began my third attempt even as I tried in vain to push the remaining proof of my ineptitude out of view, hoping it would simply
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2020 Reading List v1

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A lioness' hunger takes many forms.  Her mind needs to be fed often, well, and deeply.  A sated intellect is key to her tranquility and satisfaction.  ( Also s ee Bitch, Can You Just Get in a Damn Box?!? ) Suggestions/recommendations always appreciated.  Of course NYC's D/s Book Club will no doubt help feed my Lioness. ~DominaKat ~~~Finish the Following~~~ Master/slave Mastery - Update Handbook of Concepts, Approaches, and Practices by Robert J. Rubel Ph. D. Sacred Power: Holy Surrender Edited by Raven Kaldera Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers  by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny Ties That Bind by Guy Baldwin M.S. The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy ~~~New~~~ Real Service by Raven Kaldara & Joshua Tenpenny Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara The New Bottoming Book  by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison Tears We Cannot Stop  by Michael Eric Dyson Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vo
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Why "Owner/property" Rather than "Master/slave"?

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A question came my way last month, "Why Owner/property?  As opposed to Master/slave?"  I struggled to answer beyond, "'Property' felt right.  'Slave" has never worked for me."  I didn't add at the time that neither has "Master."  (I was trying to be semi-well-behaved and not offend anyone.)  I've always struggled to answer the 'property' vs 'slave' question, but I searched deeper on my train ride home and have continued to play with the puzzle pieces.  Turns out, there was a lot to unpack and fit together. There are many implied nuances that apply to both "slave" and "property":  belonging, protected, the follower of a leader, etc.  All of those resonate deeply within me.  Always have.  However, FOR ME, "slave" felt inherently wrong, like a dress that fit poorly and whose fabric itched the moment it touched my skin.  Despite my knowledge that I have been/could be utterly devoted to
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Where is Your Energy Source? | Sado-centric, Maso-centric, Partner-centric, Self-Centric

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A couple years ago I attended an absolutely great class, Masco-curious?  It was my third local kink event in the city, and it added MUCH to my personal thought arsenal on S&M.  This small, casual, humble class led by two very different masochists opened about a half dozen doorways for me and was instrumental in putting me on the path that has led to my today.  (I seriously can't thank them enough!)  Despite doing lifestyle shit and being on Fet for the previous seven years, my "education" had truly been limited, based primarily on whatever my partners during that time were comfortable with or various anecdotal writings rather than a study of the craft. ~~~ IMPORTANT SIDEBAR ~~~ Yes!  I said CRAFT!  What we do is a CRAFT, and in order to MASTER the CRAFT of S&M you need to study, study, practice, practice, and do more of both almost infinitely!  No...ya don't get good at this shit by buying equipment at the mainstream "spice up your sex life" store
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Owner Privileges

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We have a lot of labels for those we engage with:  play partner, lover, Top, bottom, baby girl, Daddy, brother, sister, toy, Dom, sub....  Our relationships are sometimes complicated, often nuanced, but almost always meaningful.  For me there is no greater relationship/title than Owner. Even though I am unOwned and struggling right now in my peace with and trust in my submission, I can't deny M/s is - will always be -  my sacred .  The Owner's throne may be currently empty, but I still honor that role that a Man may eventually take in my life. Over time and experience, I've come to understand how rare it is to find someone willing and ABLE to take on the responsibilities of my Ownership.  Yes, there are a myriad of delightful sexy benefits He will have the right to indulge in at will, and many find those possibilities appealing.  However, what differentiates an Owner from a play partner, lover, Dominant is His desire and follow through to be an active leader in my life.
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This Too Shall Pass, Right?

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I am where I am for reasons that are not public fodder.  Why I'm here isn't the point. Where I am is. For a while now, I haven't been able to find peace with my submission or harmony with my sacred .  Every day I fight to turn away from frustration, anger, and bitterness.  I fight every day, hour, moment to reach for positive. It's a fucking struggle. I distrust my submission and service to take me anywhere good. I doubt the reality of Dominance that's more than a temporary surface level masquerade. I wonder if I will ever again find grace . With the momentary exceptions of pure compersion when I happen to witness the divinity in others' authority exchange dynamics...confusion, pain, and emptiness have been my only companions as I try to regain my balance and figure out how the fuck to move forward in my journey. I recognize that I'm in a state of recovery, but that awareness does not dull the fucking ache.  This isn't anything special.  I&
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A Lil M/s Magic for Those Still Interested in Kinky Fun

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I couldn't read another bitch session/rant on Fet.  WTF people?!?  Does anyone anymore even think about the magic of what it is we do?  Or is your hunger only really about seeking out and destroying some invisible online enemy? ~smh~ Some snippets for those who are hungry for beautiful moments. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ His hand settled on my inner thigh.  I marveled at how natural it felt.  I hadn't been touched in years, yet nothing in me seemed alarmed or even in overdrive at His familiarity.  It was almost as if I'd been waiting forever...for Him.  I looked up into His warm eyes and wondered...who are you? "Listen.  This is what I want.  I want to Own you..." I blinked, but it wasn't a dream. "I want to Own you..." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The second I felt the touch I'd opened my eyes to search for Him.  He'd been right there next to me. "It's okay."  A dark submission I'd never felt before devoured me whole in an instant.  He'd
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That Old Relic - Honor

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In a world consumed by instant gratification, which is the new norm...no...the new God, sadly concepts such as Honor have become vague relics of the past, echoed only by ghosts and eulogies of heroes.  Maybe this is where the hopeless romantic in me sticks out like a prickly cactus in a deep bed of used instant scratch off tickets, but Honor is still very much a part of my DNA. I don't brag or blow smoke up anyone's ass.  Why?  They'd find out soon enough that I was full of shit.  How embarrassing would that be???  Plus I've never been able to find logic in lies and pompous nonsense.  The first time MasterKwesi met one of my friends, he shook her hand and said, "Wow...she's amazing.  She's one of the few people that says she's about x and then actually is x."  I was a bit stunned for a moment that he was impressed by just basic honesty, but my Honorable genes run deeper. I do my best to Honor the agreements I make - even if I've made a mi
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