Fire & Ice

Posts

Showing posts with the label submission

Where is Your Energy Source? | Sado-centric, Maso-centric, Partner-centric, Self-Centric

- June 16, 2019

A couple years ago I attended an absolutely great class, Masco-curious? It was my third local kink event in the city, and it added MUCH to my personal thought arsenal on S&M. This small, casual, humble class led by two very different masochists opened about a half dozen doorways for me and was instrumental in putting me on the path that has led to my today. (I seriously can't thank them enough!) Despite doing lifestyle shit and being on Fet for the previous seven years, my "education" had truly been limited, based primarily on whatever my partners during that time were comfortable with or various anecdotal writings rather than a study of the craft. ~~~ IMPORTANT SIDEBAR ~~~ Yes! I said CRAFT! What we do is a CRAFT, and in order to MASTER the CRAFT of S&M you need to study, study, practice, practice, and do more of both almost infinitely! No...ya don't get good at this shit by buying equipment at the mainstream "spice up your sex life" store

Owner Privileges

- April 19, 2019

We have a lot of labels for those we engage with: play partner, lover, Top, bottom, baby girl, Daddy, brother, sister, toy, Dom, sub.... Our relationships are sometimes complicated, often nuanced, but almost always meaningful. For me there is no greater relationship/title than Owner. Even though I am unOwned and struggling right now in my peace with and trust in my submission, I can't deny M/s is - will always be - my sacred . The Owner's throne may be currently empty, but I still honor that role that a Man may eventually take in my life. Over time and experience, I've come to understand how rare it is to find someone willing and ABLE to take on the responsibilities of my Ownership. Yes, there are a myriad of delightful sexy benefits He will have the right to indulge in at will, and many find those possibilities appealing. However, what differentiates an Owner from a play partner, lover, Dominant is His desire and follow through to be an active leader in my life.

Missing: property. Pls Call if Found.

- March 27, 2019

~sigh~ It's time I just came out with it. I can't find my s-side. Bitch is gone. Poof. Greatest magic trick I've come up with in years. Too bad it wasn't intentional. I literally can't even imagine being submissive. Memories of kneeling feel like I'm watching a kinky home movie of someone else in my head. Yes...I'm THAT detached. I can't hear her. I can't touch her. She is bound and gagged somewhere, and I have no idea where. If I'm honest, I'm also too busy to search. Oh...I look around now and then, but I don't change my course of direction. My mind is focused solely on the tasks at hand, and DAMN have I thrown a heap of tasks into my mix. #UnownedCopingStrategy I'm all about progress - FORWARD momentum toward my goals. I can't even feel sad that she's MIA. All she would do is slow me down with her...ache. There's no one to Dominate her, so what good would her appearance be? None. None. Negati

Our Storm - Revised

- March 18, 2019

Revisions to an older post: http://www.dominakat.com/2018/09/our-storm.html Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My hands clawed at the wet brick as I braced myself against the brutal rhythm of Him. Another nail shredded. The smack-smack-smack of skin-on-skin and the wet sounds of sin bounced between the confines of the dark, narrow alleyway. Our harsh melody mingled with the downpour and the low hum of the random box truck that lumbered through the drenched barren city streets. Even the taxis had forsaken the night to the summer storm. He shoved harder as His voice carried over the rain. "This is what you deserve for being such a bitch. A good fucking in the gutter." I spread my legs wider and bent my knees. Ahhh, yes...there. I sighed, feeling the full length of Him. The masonry dug into my palms, and the edges of my soaked dress clung to the sides of my pale thick thighs. He'd bunched the fabric at my back for leverage to fuck hard and mean

A Good Boy - Part I

- February 10, 2019

He stood before her sitting frame with his hands behind his back and waited. The temperature controlled room suddenly felt a little warm, and he wished he could shed his t-shirt and jeans. His toes wiggled against the cool hardwood floor and took in the Alpha Female before him. The contrast between the white chair and her hourglass curves covered in black both excited him and made him uncomfortable. Nerves and excitement jumbled together in an indistinguishable sensation through his body as her eyes traveled down his tall frame. She raised her crop slowly to drag along his zipper. "Leave your pants buttoned, but take your dick out. I want to watch your reactions." She punctuated her demand with a firm slap to his thigh. He reached for his zipper only for the crop to slap at his hand. He stilled unsure of himself. "What do you say first, boy?" Some unfamiliar feeling joined the tangle of nerves and excitement. He cleared his throat as he felt his face flu

/s property Work

- February 01, 2019

I've been pulling together updates for my profile over the last week or two to better reflect my priorities, goals, and desires with the new year. A great process that allowed me to reassess the many pieces of me. Yet, I kept bumping up against what will be one of my greatest challenges this year. While all my lovely thoughts regarding submission are a very accurate reflection of my personal beliefs and styles, the truth is that my /s/property/submissive headspace is out of breath and needs to regroup. I need time...time to resolve the conflict in my mind between the M/s ideals I believe in and the often disappointing reality of practice I've faced. Despite being a realistic idealist, 2018 left my submission a bit bruised. No...it's more than that. While I find blessed peace in M/s centric environments ( my church ), I'm currently distrustful of my own personal submission. Not good. Not good at all. I admire others' serenity and joy in service. I rem

Poly Question List: My Search for Answers & Understanding

- January 09, 2019

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A Lil M/s Magic for Those Still Interested in Kinky Fun

- December 16, 2018

I couldn't read another bitch session/rant on Fet. WTF people?!? Does anyone anymore even think about the magic of what it is we do? Or is your hunger only really about seeking out and destroying some invisible online enemy? ~smh~ Some snippets for those who are hungry for beautiful moments. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ His hand settled on my inner thigh. I marveled at how natural it felt. I hadn't been touched in years, yet nothing in me seemed alarmed or even in overdrive at His familiarity. It was almost as if I'd been waiting forever...for Him. I looked up into His warm eyes and wondered...who are you? "Listen. This is what I want. I want to Own you..." I blinked, but it wasn't a dream. "I want to Own you..." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The second I felt the touch I'd opened my eyes to search for Him. He'd been right there next to me. "It's okay." A dark submission I'd never felt before devoured me whole in an instant. He'd

That Old Relic - Honor

- December 11, 2018

In a world consumed by instant gratification, which is the new norm...no...the new God, sadly concepts such as Honor have become vague relics of the past, echoed only by ghosts and eulogies of heroes. Maybe this is where the hopeless romantic in me sticks out like a prickly cactus in a deep bed of used instant scratch off tickets, but Honor is still very much a part of my DNA. I don't brag or blow smoke up anyone's ass. Why? They'd find out soon enough that I was full of shit. How embarrassing would that be??? Plus I've never been able to find logic in lies and pompous nonsense. The first time MasterKwesi met one of my friends, he shook her hand and said, "Wow...she's amazing. She's one of the few people that says she's about x and then actually is x." I was a bit stunned for a moment that he was impressed by just basic honesty, but my Honorable genes run deeper. I do my best to Honor the agreements I make - even if I've made a mi

Blood on My Claws

- December 04, 2018

I am fucking fierce in protecting those I love. It's not a pretty thing, nor is it kind. When a battle line is drawn and a fight is at hand, I pull no punches with my team or against those that seek to cause harm. Everything I say is true. My recommendations are 95% of the time on point. My ex used to say I that I often handed out the truth on a garbage can lid rather than serve it on fine china. He was right. When the truth is ugly, I've found most people pretend it's not there if it's sitting on pretty, fragile, dinnerware. But when time is of the essence and the risk is great, slam that garbage can lid on the ground at someone's feet, and usually they finally quit fucking around and acknowledge its reality. I can be ruthless. I can be vicious. I will fucking draw blood and feel no remorse. I never start shit, but I will fucking finish it. I've learned the hard way that bullies, manipulators, and attackers rarely take hints. Hints or nudg

The Beauty of Submission

- December 02, 2018

To feel vulnerable under the Weight of His Strength. To give freely when He Takes. To fight by His Side. To serve His Demands. Submission... To surrender beneath the Comfort of Competent Authority. To rely on Consistency and trust in Follow Through. To ache for His Approval. To obey His Instructions. Submission... To be wanted at His Feet. To bask in His Attention. To be used on my knees as He Sates His Pleasure. To anticipate and fulfill His Needs. Submission... To bloom and grow under His Nurturing. To work toward His goals. To follow His Direction. To believe in His Leadership. Submission... There is nothing in the world that makes more sense or is more beautiful to me than M/s. To simply witness it warms my soul and fends off the cold chill of winter. ~DominaKat

His Dark Promises

- October 23, 2018

Standing in the open door to the Mercedes Coupe, my head carelessly fell forward as His teeth nipped a trail of fire down the back of my neck and across my shoulder. I could feel the demanding ridge of His dick against my ass, and my pussy wept with need. I arched my back to give His mouth more access and to rub my ass against that tree trunk I ached to have buried inside me. "That's it. Beg for it. I wanted to bend you over the table the moment I saw you." Warm strong hands reached up and pulled apart the deep neckline of my dark red dress to expose my bulging breasts to the cool night air. I hissed from the sharp pain of my fat nipples morphing instantly to pierced berries ripe to be plucked. He didn't resist and latched on to both with a deliberate firm grip before a slow release. Again a squeeze and a release. "The waiter kept looking at your breasts." Another squeeze and release between the bites at my neck. "I should have pulled the

Embrace Failure to Thrive

- October 15, 2018

Damn near every community in the last year has had some sort of drama at their doorstep. Rightfully, we ALL NEED to understand consent backwards and forwards, protect each others' privacy, and be on guard for asshole abusers. Responsible kinksters go to classes, read up on best practices, spend long hours considering. All good things. We all should be thoughtful in our interactions with each other. If you're anything like me, the drama as well as all this thought and consideration has also created some anxiety. Most of us are intent on “doing things right” - not just as it relates to consent but in play. No D/Top-type wants to cause physical, mental, or emotional damage, and no s/bottom-type wants to be on the receiving end of damage. We all want to have a fabulous time every time we indulge in our kinky lifestyle. Guess what? That's unfucking realistic. And we NEED to talk about it. An impossible expectation of perfection in a scene/play currently exist

My Submission to The Universe

- October 07, 2018

I learned long ago not to fight the Omnipotent power of The Universe's will, especially this time of year. When She repeatedly sends the same message in a dozen different ways, it is a good idea to stop, listen, and accept the direction She has chosen. There is a lesson/challenge She has put in my path. In essence, I submit to Her. To defy Her is to get my ass kicked every damn time. So with Nina Simone and a lil Mary J. Blige accompanying me as I find my words... Universe...I hear you. I submit to Your will. Over the last several months, Male energy has dramatically receded from my inner perimeter in essentially all facets of my life. I've been unable to slow - let alone stop - the retreat. (I tried a bit at first not seeing the broader theme.) I know without a doubt the love and appreciation is still there in all cases. The distance I am experiencing is not a reflection of shifted feelings. Life has simply demanded their attention and efforts. In every in

Our Storm

- September 18, 2018

My hands clawed at the wet brick as I tried in vain to brace myself against the brutal rhythm of Him. Another nail shredded. The smack-smack-smack of skin-to-skin and the wet sounds of sex and sin echoed between the dark confines of the narrow alleyway but mingled with the downpour and the random taxi or box truck that lumbered through the barren drenched city streets. The masonry dug into my palms, and the edges of my soaked dress clung to the sides of my pale thighs, even as He used the bunched fabric at my back as leverage to fuck me like a beast in primal heat. Just as the violent storm above raged, so did my anger, yet still I arched my back and raised my bare ass like the whore I always was for Him. I needed... Dick... His dick... Him. Him. Him. As always, the energy of us consumed us like a firestorm, singing our souls. We were helpless to resist. "Who owns you, bitch?" He growled in my ear before He trailed burning bites down m

This Woman's submission

- September 05, 2018

Womanhood is a complicated prism. Strengths and weaknesses ebb and flow depending who is doing the assessing. Gender, age, Power Exchange role, economic, cultural perspective, and more all influence which elements hold value and which are are irrelevant. A younger Man might rate a woman higher if she’s willing and able to bear children. A bottom will likely gravitate more toward strong Dominant women. Someone struggling financially might have a greater appreciation for a woman who is financially independent where a wealthier man might be ambivalent. There is definitely no longer one way to "woman" -- at least in modern American culture. There is also no one way to submit. The best choice for either is to be authentic and true to who and what you are. In fact, back in July one of my s-friends brought me back this from TESFest and Orpheus Black, "You serve your purpose - your submission - by being who you are." Such amazing fucking advice, and

My Sacred

- July 11, 2018

At my soul...at my very foundation and root is M/s. "The things which are sacred or precious to us are the things we withdraw from promiscuous sharing." ~Howard Roark, The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand Sacred | ˈsākrid | adjective regarded with great respect and reverence by a particular religion, group, or individual The Dominance of Owner. The submission of property The Power/Authority Exchange. Simply sacred . M/s entwines itself across every core element. Of my existence. And delves so deeply into my soul. I will not. C annot. Promiscuously share. Sacred. My sacred... Is not a kinky game. Or haphazard wrapper. Or just spicy sex. It's not pretend. Or a mirage. Or a costume. Or part-time. Submissive property. Is who and what I am. Even if I'm simply waiting. To be Owned. Claimed Treasured. Led. Sacred. To serve. To please. To be used. To support, encourage, guard, protect, love, ADORE. To give... All the best I have. To bel

Enthusiastic Assent for My submission

- April 02, 2018

I had to suffer through some brutal, long-term lessons before I fully comprehended what I now consider the Number One rule in submission (after the overarching fundamentals of trust, respect, honor, etc. that apply to both the D and the s.) I can ONLY give as much as He will TAKE. I wish someone had explained that to me at the beginning of my journey. Though, I'm not sure it would have made a difference. I can't tell you how many have verbally proclaimed on countless occasions that they valued and wanted everything I had to give only to prove the exact opposite in action. Whether due to misaligned/misaligned expectations or outright mirages and lies, it didn't matter how many ways I submitted or how well I submitted, I eventually had no choice but to face being... untaken... unwanted... unneeded. Over time, my emotional wounds and physical frustration became devastating. Imagine a torrential wall of hot lava (submission) fueled by a mountain of thunderous eruptio

Tell Me "No"

- March 12, 2018

Floggers, crops, whips, rope...heady, sexy, yummy toys of kink. The showmanship, the Pain, the obvious position of Power and Authority to submission are tangible, bold opportunities to share intimate experiences with one another, especially those in D/s dynamics. Yet, often a simple, reasonable, deftly placed "No" lands much deeper and last much longer than a night's pretty bruises or vicious lashes. In fact an occasional denial (preferably accompanied with a why) is essential to a healthy Power Exchange relationship. A "No" in a sea of "Yes" demonstrates that He listens. A "No" because He wants that Privilege with me shows He still desires me. A "No" draws a Boundary that reassures me. A "No" to keep me safe reminds me how much He values His property. A "No" to make me uncomfortable allows me to please and amuse His Sadism. A "No" once again establishes His Control. A &quo

My Religion

- March 11, 2018

I remained silent. As they took turns speaking, their words faded to background noise, and I held up my own Truth to my mind's eye and gazed at it in fearless acknowledgement. Yes, I see. I know. Even there, surrounded by those who shared at least some version of my proclivities, it seemed unlikely my own Beliefs would find many companions. I hadn't been hopeful - merely curious. I long ago accepted in myself what I can so rarely express to anyone who can understand. Though I have let my Truth flicker in the ether at times . My Religion? I bask, bath, am baptized in the Spiritual essence found only at the Divine intersection of a soul deep connection, pure, authentic BDSM, and raw hedonistic sex. There...in those moments...I am free of the chains of this world and become one with the Holy Existence of Life and all that beautiful energy of the Universe. There...in those moments...I find Grace. I am Grace. I am Everything and nothing. I am Life and death. I a

Search This Blog